The Mangler 2

Okay fine it's true I watched the Mangler franchise a bit wonky, I saw the first which I think was a watchable effort followed by the third which was a total mess and now finally all these years later have gotten to part 2.

Now going in my hopes were fairly high, it stars Lance Henriksen so it couldn't possibly be that bad, right?

Well The Mangler 2 follows on from the first movie in no shape or form, it's an original tale about a virus that takes over a heavily automated school and starts killing folks off.

Devoid of originality, oddly dull, with awful death scenes and instantly forgettable characters The Mangler 2 tops part 3 but just barely.

Not entirely sure what they were going for but I can confidently say that it doesn't work, not even slightly.

Watch The Mangler (1995) and pretend it doesn't have sequels.

The Good:

Decent soundtrack

The Chef stole the whole film

Lance Henriksen

The Bad:

Weak connection to the original film

Really quite boring

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

I'm left wondering whose idea it was for one of the girls to just wear her bra for near the entire film

Holy Macaroni! This one really is as bad as everyone says it is. Poor Lance Henriksen! This truly is one of the worst movies I ever saw him in. This movie should have been called "The Cables of Death" or whatever, because it has nothing to do with the original "The Mangler" (1995) and all we see is some cables and wires moving around once in a while. At least in my country DVD distributors had the sense to re-name it "Virtual Death" (a more stupid & more fitting title). All killings are off-screen and there's no real tension whatsoever throughout the whole movie... And that stupid, cheap electro/techno soundtrack... Ow, aw, ugh! On to the points: One point because this movie makes "The Mangler" look incredibly good (and the original one needs that, in my humble opinion), if not to say excellent! One point for Lance Henriksen hanging on cables with wires running through his head and body near the end. One point for Daniella Evangelista doing a lot of running dressed in a tiny red bikini, making her boobs go up and down and up and down and up and down and... wooow, what a fascinating sight that was. There you have my generous rating for "The Mangler 2" explained.

It's amazing what kind of movies are made when monkeys write the script. There was a scene in the movie where a guy tries to be really philosophical about the periodic table, saying that it's a language written by aliens. For example, they communicate with molecular formulas... "Take Silicone for example, it's used to make computers faster, but put it into a woman's body, and that speaks in much different ways." The element on the periodic table is Silicon. I'm pretty sure if you put that in a woman's breast area, it would kill her. Silicone and silicon are two completely different things.

Nice going, ya dunce.

I saw this movie on HBO just a few short days ago. While I knew all the while how poor the acting, script, etc. really was, I was compelled to watch until the credits rolled. This was for one thing and one thing only: to confirm my already-predicted ending. Awww, look, the loner girl saves the day (or her own ass, leaving everyone else to the Mangler)... or does she??? :::dun dun dun:::

We have here yet another piss-poor sequel that makes more than obvious attempts to grab the youth of america by the balls. (And though I am not equipped, being a girl, I'm pretty confident that I walked away unscathed by the wrath of the super-spooky Mangler)

From the painfully cliche characters... -the "goth" girl who obsesses over chaos -the skanky girl who was sexually abused by the headmaster I'll just end that topic here.

And let's not forget the soundtrack... For a second there I thought I was on ecstacy...all that techno rave music. Well, let's bring out the glow sticks! Ok, while we can all appreciate a movie score which echoes the plot (computer technology = techno), I doubt we could appreciate it as much when it's on a continuous loop. "Jo" could've been tying her shoe, crying over her meaningless existance some more, or hey, maybe even taking a crap and we'd still here that same techno track. I mean, come on.

And I know someone already mentioned the pointless product placement of sorts, i.e. the Mangler quoting "Tell me what you want what you really, really want" of the Spice Girl fame. Well, I did laugh...so I guess that was the attainable result of the writers. But I laugh only in mocking of their collective effort...and the miserable failure in the process. Not to mention that I was picturing a wired Lance Henrikson as the next Scary Spice...

But moving right along... I have seen, for lack of a better word, prequel--The Mangler.

And I have a few questions: How exactly did the evil spirit Mangler end up on the internet via virus? I was just wondering... oh wait, that's right. THE MANGLER 2 WAS NOT IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM RELATED TO THE ORIGINAL. Ok, so there are many horror movie sequels that fail to acknowledge the previous installments. But for the love of all things sacred....could they at least leave us with something!? The Mangler 2 may as well been called...Killer Virus on Campus, or something. And by the other incriminating evidence (read: non-stop techno, empty stock characters), I declare The Mangler 2 to be in direct violation of movie ethics. The writers go far beyond focusing on a target audience...they dumb down the target audience to the effect of complete idiocy. Sure, we'll buy the latest shoe or guzzle the new flavors of the slurpee machine at the 7-11. But please, don't force-feed us with sugar-coated crap, if there is nothing in it for us. Not all teens, after all, are hell bent on chaos. And not all teens fit into those neatly-woven cloths they cut, in their close-minded cliche ridden dialogue. Playing some funky synthesizers and having well-endowed women on the screen does not ensue entertainment. I mean really, I am 19 years old. And even im my darkest hour of self-pity, I doubt I'll be putting any "Manglers" on my college's main frame. Then again... :::cue the techno music:::

Ladies and Gentlemen, The times of great film are thought to have gone the way of the Tasmanian Devil and the Ne-Ne--lost to the ages. If you find yourself a believer in this school of thought, I submit to you "The Mangler 2--Graduation Day." Our times are defined by a select few films, viewed by folks generations from now who see the characters and scenes of these films to portray the thoughts and emotions of those living in its time period. Truly, "The Mangler 2" is one such film. With its true-to-life dialogue, allowing the viewer to not only empathize with the character but to BECOME the character, this movie takes us by the collar and pummels our emotions brutally, stomping on our conceptions of modern security systems and slicing away piece by piece our false sense of safety in our schools. From the first intense seconds of this film, the viewer follows along the turbulent life of a young girl who struggles with her father as well as herself and what society expects of her. She soon meets up with several friends, all of whom are perhaps the most well-developed, complex characters to grace the big screen since those of "Taxi Driver" or "Citizen Kane." These young men and women struggle against a foe far greater than they can comprehend, and several succumb to its evil plots, meeting only the most horrible (yet thought-provoking) deaths imaginable to the human mind. Without spoiling the ending of this cinematic classic, I will suffice it to say that the climax is gripping, a true testament to fine camera-work, acting, writing, and music. The viewer is left on the edge of his seat until, finally, the movie comes to a breath-taking close, leaving us to ask "what's next?" Not only do I give this movie 10 stars, I give it a standing ovation and offer it my first born. Dare I ask when "The Mangler 3" will come squealing from the womb of its writers, squinting into the bright lights of fame?