Psyched by the 4D Witch

I am a little embarrassed to say I enjoyed this movie. It was entertaining, but also it struck me as quite funny at times. The plot is a girl has never had sex nor an orgasm. So her "ancestor" Abigail the witch haunts her mind and puts her into trances where she can't help but go do sexual things that give her a satisfying climax. She first starts trying to turn on her neighbor Mr. Jones, who is a homosexual (or "homo" as he puts it), but then the trances get more and more perverse until finally she's being told to have sex with her dead girl friend. In between all of this is "psychedelic" light shows, but really it's kind of boring flashes of red and people in masks and weird outfits. Not many psychedelic colors, mostly just red.

I did like this movie because Cindy's voice, who is the main narrator, has a twinge of comedy in it the whole time. As if the actress thought that what she was saying was so stupid it was funny. There are parts where they say the f-word or they say some body part and it has been cut out. The key phrase that Cindy is supposed to say to get the witch to enter her mind is "Let's fantasy f**k now!" but after a while, the f-word gets cut right out of the dialog, so you just hear "let's fantasy *cut* now!" And it does this for a lot of lines where you'd think something vulgar was about to be said. Or when a snake is being pulled out of someone's butt, they say "rectum" but then the word gets cut out the next time they refer to it. It's strange that they do that.

This movie has fake snakes that are supposed to be real and girls are doing weird things them. It has bad vampire teeth. It has a huge bad wig on the main character. And it has a great theme song, that unfortunately, you get sick of by the end. And lastly, it has a great scene where something strange is happening to the main girl (I forget what) and her narrator decides to make crazy noises the whole time that end up sounding like someone talking in tongues while drowning. It's pretty funny.

Putting this film on a DVD with "Monstar-a-Go-Go" was really a stroke of genius for this film's reputation, because MAGG is so awful that it makes this poorly-assembled collection of audio and images look GOOD.

Seriously, I put this film on the TV at a party with the sound turned down, and on that level, it had some merit: flaky, trippy, visuals that lent some visual interest in the background. "What the H IS THIS???" asked more than one person. I was forced to go into an explanation, which left the people utterly befuddled and looking as if they had been struck about the head and shoulders with a lead bong.

On that level, I can not recommend PBT4W, but I hope I have at least provided some kind of scenario in which it would not be a net deficit. Use this information as you will.

There is a point where one sees things that one can't watch because its so hysterically funny one will die from laughter from continued viewing.

There is a point where on realizes that those who have deemed Ed Wood and his films the worst ever made never looked hard enough. (anyone who starts down the road of bad movies is aware of this almost instantly- but I digress) There are times when you watch a movie you can feel your brain being cut up as it claws in desperation to get out of your head.

Occasionally people can actually release their home movies to theaters and have people pay to see them.

Psyched by the 4d Witch is a prime example of all of the above and more...you'll pray it isn't true but it is...

This is a movie that is rated R, it even says so in the credits, because of nudity and sex. I think its because the film makers were desperate to have a reason for people to see this movie.

This is a movie about Cindy who's a virgin and through the use of sexual witchcraft and the help of a dead ancestor who was a witch is able to have sex and remain a virgin. Oh yea baby.

There is no dialog only voice over as Cindy and two other people relate the story to you over footage that is a combination someones vacation film and the sort of stuff that is worse than what I used to shoot in 8 mm, with the exception that my stuff never had a naked blonde in it. (She's a babe) Adding to it all is a whacked out sense of odd lights and bad Halloween decorations that make a first graders haunted house seem scary.

Words fail me.

The film opens with a woman dancing to the theme song in a style similar to the James Bond films, only worse. Its a moment that makes you say "WTF?" even if you don't use profanity you will as you see this.

After the opening credits we get film of someones trip to a college inter-cut with a naked girl practicing witchcraft. I know this is what she's doing because of the voice over.

Then we get weird lights and masks and you end up on the floor convulsed from laughter wondering how in the hell this ever got released.

The Something Weird website said its from a rare 35mm print, my guess is its the only one in existence. I would hate to think that this was actually inflicted on enough paying customers that they needed more than one print or that it actually had a run in several theaters (hey, I bought this disc used) This is a movie to be enshrined in infamy. This is bad film making as high art. This is get drunk and MST3K this sucker to death.(The only reason it wasn't on the show was that its too easy to make fun of, besides its the movie that probably would have broken the boys) DO NOT TAKE DRUGS WHILE WATCHING THIS FILM. Consumption of mind altering drugs will only result in the movie making sense, and where's the fun in that.

This is beyond bad and twice as jaw dropping. Ed Wood could only aspire to be this awful. Gay necrophilia vampirism with bad teeth are the words of the day.

If you like to see bad. mind altering movies see this...

If you want to laugh at a truly (and I mean that) awful film see this. This is below the bottom of the barrel at its worst.

This is probably the worst movie I've ever seen. Mostly it consists of voice-over and randomly assembled footage; the footage is typically a girl undressing and hanging around what is (I think) Los Angeles City College - the pretext involves a Salem witch who was burned at the stake and in the present day of the early 1970s convinces a descendant to embark on sexual adventures. I suppose this premise isn't inherently the worst thing on earth, but the execution is horrendous - it's amoral, boring, and irritating all at the same time, which is a pretty unique combination. It's a rare movie that can pull off this trifecta of awful. For all those people who say that modern mass-market movies made by Hollywood like (just for example) Saw 2 or The Village or Flyboys are 'the worst movie ever made', they need to see this to see how much lower than those bad movies cinema can actually reach; this is a true cinematic nadir.

This is something that only could have been made in the early 70's. Its more of an acid trip than a movie. I wouldn't be surprised if this had been shot as a full on porn but then cut to be released as "art" when they realized how bad it was. It actually makes it funnier to have these abrupt cuts in the very, very un-sexy sex scenes. The film stock looks burnt and scratched most of the time and there is no audio for the actors, its all voice over narration. Low budget and amateur to its very core.

But, I'd always rather see something that sucks because its so weird that sucks because its the same as everything else - that's why it gets a 5.