Berserker

BERSERKER: HELL'S WARRIOR is an ultra-cheesy historical-action-science-fiction B-movie. That's a hell of a combination, and the fact that it was made in South Africa just adds to the whole weirdness of the thing. The DVD case sells this as a straightforward gritty historical war flick along the lines of the VIKINGS TV series but it turns out to be a thoroughly cheesy B-movie masquerading as such.

And, truth be told, it's a pretty poor show. The narrative attempts to invoke some Norse mythology involving Odin and the other gods but in the end this turns into an unholy cross between HIGHLANDER and the Hong Kong flick THE ICEMAN COMETH. The first half which is set in the Viking camp is by far the worst, committing the cardinal sin of being cheesy and boring at the same time, but things do improve a little in the second. Be warned, throughout the movie you'll be exposed to some of the poorest over-acting you'll see in a movie.

We're treated to the spectacle of a couple of warring brothers travelling to the present day where their battles continue. The CGI effects are pretty awful, it has to be said, and you wonder why the likes of Patrick Bergin and Kari Wuhrer are present, although at least the latter disrobes frequently to distract the viewer. There's a little gore thrown into the mix, along with the unwise decision to include some vampire stuff (as if it wasn't enough of a mixed bag to begin with), but overall the extremely poor production values make this one hell of a mess.

No offense, guys, but I'm more than a little concerned for anybody who actually liked this---with the possible exception of the snarky, funny Rifftrax version. It's what occult-obsessed adolescent boys would make if they had the budget.

Watching the Rifftrax version should be the ONLY possible excuse for seeing this and the only reason it gets any stars 😂

Yes, this film seems to be trying to do the whole Highlander thing. However, while I understand what is going on in Highlander as it is totally easy to follow, I am going to have a hard time describing what the heck is happening in this one! Maybe there is thirty to forty minutes of this left on the cutting room floor which would help clear up what is going on, because man this thing was a jumbled mess!

The story...ha, ha, ha. Okay, here goes...it starts out with vikings wanting to do something and they need some other guys. One of the other guys is the main guy's brother. He apparently has power or worships Odin and he has witches that glow! Well there is a double cross, a witch who glows bites the normal brother and the next thing we see is the present and good brother is in chains in a mental institution. We get flashbacks that further confuse things as I am unclear if they happen before or after the bite...

This film tried to hard to have an edgy plot and ends up being a pretty incoherent film plot wise. We do get some good fights here and there, but a lot of what is going on moments too. Like, why did they go into the club and then turn on the sprinklers? What advantage was that supposed to give them!?!

Seriously though, the film is all over the place and pretty much in the category of films of watch it to make fun of it. I would have given this film a four had it been made in the 80's, but it was made in 2004 so there is no excuse for that horrible glowing effect for the witches or whatever they were supposed to be. This is one film I do not think one has to worry about clicking the yes on spoilers because I do not think anyone could fully explain the plot in such a way that it would spoil anything...

I was an extra in the opening scene where the combined forces storm Eric the Red's encampment. Never knew where to see the final product. Then stumbled upon it on Cinemax one night. Needless to say that I can't be seen, anywhere (I was just filler in a war scene, anyway).

Didn't expect too much going into the film, but things look better when they are on the screen than they look in real-life. The story wasn't as basic as it had sounded and their were some nice twists in the ending. I'm glad to see it wasn't a "straight forward Hollywood finish". Rest assured that Paul Johanssen is a total tool (cheesy sense of humor).

Impressed with the final thing, but only cause it exceeded my low expectation.