Lost Voyage

well, rent this film only after you've seen every other horror film in your video store. even then, consider expanding your tastes to as many other genres as you can before returning to lost voyage. still tempted? how about picking up a nice book, or going out with your friends, or perhaps simply hammering your genitals to a board with an old nail?

why do i do this to myself? why did i think that anything good could come out of a made-for-the-tube film about a ghost ship starring judd "washed-up-since-1985" nelson? you know why? session 9. i blame session 9. every now and then, after sifting through the ever-thinning ranks of my olde video store i decide to rent a movie that screams "complete loser" in hopes that it turns out to be somewhere between "mildly loserish" and "ok". and sometimes, just sometimes, one of these low expectation picks turns out to be a bit of a winner, like session 9. well, the makers of this film (and my video store) can thank david caruso's scrawny white ass, because session 9 restored my faith that not all obscure low-budget horror films are stupid and brainless despite all the alarm bells that sound when you read the box.

unfortunately lost voyage IS stupid and brainless, a cheeseball excuse for a bunch of roughly sketched characters to run around the corridors of a ship accompanied by a relentless horror movie soundtrack. sure, it's got its jump-out-at-ya moments, but so does my fridge after i forget about a half-eaten ham-n-cheese sandwich that's been sitting in the back for a week or three.

it's just that the plot is so lazy. there is so much that could have been done with the bermuda triangle yet they way lamed out. um, so, mr. writer-directory-guy, what's your theory on the triangle? "well, it's a gateway to HELL!" so, where have all the people on the ship gone... "well, they've been sucked into HELL"! so, um, why has the ship reappeared? "well, there was this storm, just like when it disappeared, so it came back... back from HELL"! alright, but why is the ship trying to off all these weak-ass characters now it's returned? "well, it's collected all this evil energy because, well because, well, of course it wants to off everybody it's been in HELL"!

damn i wish i could get a few paycheques for coming up with brilliant plotting like that.

ok, vented enough. goodnight.

I am surprised. I caught this on a recent trip to London, and was half asleep one night and turned the TV on. My heart sank when the only movie on was this, however, because I saw the UFO logo up front and am familiar with their brand of crap. Imagine my surprise when I began watching it anyway and found that it was actually a GOOD movie.

Judd Nelson plays Aaron, whose parent were lost on a cruise ship back in the 1970's, somewhere in the Bermuda Triangle. He has weird dreams about it, apparently, and seems to be involved in researching the paranormal (this was a bit unclear). The ship (SURPRISE!) returns, and a spunky reporter (Janet Gunn) named Dana, who works for a trashy paranormal TV show, decides to go out to the ship and get an exclusive story. She tries to get Judd to go along, but he's (understandably) upset about his missing parents, and her desire to make it all into a sideshow.

Now, it begins to get interesting. Dana has hired a sort of motley crew of salvage operators, led by the wonderful Lance Henriksen as Shaw. He's crabby, craggy, and so are his two helpers. They are about to fly out to the ship, and (of course) Judd shows up in the nick of time. CGI shots of the helicopter and the ship follow (looks good, overall). Once onboard the ship, nasty things start to happen. The interesting thing about this movie is that much of what happens is psychological, instead of overtly "spooky". The director, (Christian McIntire, who also co-wrote this), sets up a tension and weird atmosphere, although some gags don't pay off. One by one, the members of the team are bumped off, but the characters respond in a somewhat realistic fashion to the weirdness and the deaths. There is a wonderful scene showing what panic and tension can do to two people when Lance and another salvage operator (Jeff Kober) get into an argument.

So, the film builds toward the inevitible conclusion, but it is an entertaining ride getting there. Scarlett Chorvat is stunning, as is Janet Gunn, and ALL of the acting is very good. The script seems a little rushed, but it seems that this is a director to watch for in the future. In conclusion, then, a low budget thriller that is well shot, well paced, well directed and acted and a pleasantly spooky diversion.

Still surprised it's from UFO...

It's another ghost ship, a la Mary Celeste type mystery. The Corona Queen turns up after disappearing 30 years earlier. Quickly, a bunch of people that can't wait to get killed by ghosts form a rag-tag "research" group and sneak aboard to film the vessel and its secrets (they're not supposed to be there of course-big surprise).

One (Judd Nelson) is the son of of two passengers who vanished along with the ship; he's now an expert on Bermuda Triangle phenomena. There's a TV filming crew of 3, and a ship salvage team of 3, led by a guy who talks slow and creepily (Lance Henrikson). It's obvious who's gonna get it, and in which order. The movie does find some Twilight Zone type twists as the story progresses (like inner past guilt haunting the person), so the deaths are predicated on something, at least. (Somewhat better than one of those movies where victims scream "Oh my Gawd!" as they take turns getting axed.)

Nelson and Henrikson aren't bad, but neither is at his best here. Nelson's always bulging his eyes out; it almost looks like they'll burst out of his head at any moment (he could also use a better hair cut). The balance of the group are all unknowns who make good targets for the paranormal entities. The spooks are designed pretty well, and the movie wisely doesn't show them until the time is right.

Routine stuff, but delivered reasonably well.

I was kind of bored with this movie at the beginning. The acting by some of the characters isn't the best, to say the least. However, after about 30 minutes, things start to pick up. It wasn't a bad movie. The special effects, especially at the end, had me gripping my pillow without realizing it. ;-) Not many movies can garner that much suspense, but this was one of the more unique Bermuda triangle movies. Just wish it would've had a better plot... 6/10

If you don't go into it with overly high expectations, nor expect there to be a particularly rigorous logic to what unfolds, this reasonably entertaining five or six star flick is worth a look, especially for fans of the Bermuda Triangle sub-genre of supernatural thrillers.