Splatter Farm

I have been watching obscure horror movies for years and years. I have seen many of the unknown classics, like WOODCHIPPER MASSACRE, BLOODBATH IN PSYCHO TOWN, and HORROR HOUSE ON HIGHWAY FIVE. But NO movie--no matter how crazy, no matter how sick, or no matter how deranged--could've possibly prepared me for the Polonia Brothers' SPLATTER FARM.

Take it from me: you have never seen anything like this movie, and you never ever will. No other production could possibly be more nauseating, more shocking, and more badly-produced than this one. Also, no other production could possibly be cheaper, as SPLATTER FARM has absolutely NO budget (And when I say "no budget", I mean just that... Not $20000, not $1000, not even $200... But ZERO DOLLARS!).

So what exactly is this home-made, shot-on-video masterpiece about? Well, it's hard to say exactly, but I'll give it a go: teenage twins Joseph and Alan go to stay with their lonely (and really, really old) Aunt Lacy, who aside from having necrophilic tendencies with her deceased husband, lusts after her nephew Alan. During their visit, they notice their Aunt's perverted homosexual groundskeeper (Jeremy, played brilliantly by Todd Rimatti) has been exhibiting some rather strange behavior. It seems Jeremy has a bad habit of killing the townsfolk, dismembering them, and storing their body parts in his barn to use for sexual gratification later on. The boys are unable to get ahold of anybody on the outside, and now feel that their lives are in danger, so they begin to take charge of the situation. And that's when it really, REALLLLLY gets ugly.

Does it sound f'ed up? Well, lemme tell ya: I can't even BEGIN to emphasize just how f'ed up this movie is, and just how sickeningly far it goes. In fact, I was so awestruck by this little feature that I soon grew an unhealthy obsession with it. I did as much research as I could on this little obscurity and gathered up every scrap of information I could find. But, for the most part, its production, its actors, and how it somehow got made and distributed in the first place are still a nagging enigma to me. I have watched it several times with numerous people, all of whom were speechless and appalled as the story unfolded. One of my friends, Paul, has also fallen in mad love with SPLATTER FARM and has written a review on this web site as well. Because of this movie I have developed a deep appreciation for the Polonia Brothers and their many bizarre films. I would love to meet them some day, for I am sure they are the sole reason I exist.

PLEASE SEEK OUT AND WATCH THIS MOVIE. You might not like it (in fact, I'm pretty sure you won't), but you WILL be entertained by it, and it will indeed shock the living hell out of you. And, as I stated earlier, you will never see anything like it for the rest of your meaningless, pitiful existence. Trust me.

During my time living in the Netherlands-a country known for its broad cultural tolerance and often audacious programming choices-I encountered an experience that would forever alter my understanding of the grotesque and the marginal. One seemingly ordinary afternoon, while having lunch with Dutch colleagues, a local television channel-mainstream, not thematic or specialized in exploitation cinema-broadcast Splatter Farm (1987). There were no content warnings. No disclaimers. Just the raw intrusion of the abject, right between spoonfuls of erwtensoep.

Splatter Farm is, to be blunt, a cinematic anomaly. Shot on home video, featuring performances of near-archaeological ineptitude and a script that seems to have been regurgitated by a disturbed insomniac, the film operates in a state of decayed aesthetics that borders on snuff rather than traditional slasher. And yet, in its execution, there is an undeniable sincerity-an unfiltered commitment to the most scatological horror-that could almost be compared to Pasolini's provocations, if one is willing to descend deep enough into analytical depravity.

The plot-if it can be called that-revolves around two brothers visiting their aunt at a decrepit farm plagued by rot and violence. What follows is a grotesque parade of mutilation, necrophilia, cannibalism, and bodily fluids, all captured by a camera that never flinches. There is something almost pornographic here-not of desire, but of decay. One might interpret Splatter Farm as a visual essay on the decomposition of family bonds and the symbolic rot of post-Reagan rural America.

From an academic perspective, the film deserves a degree of attention for its value as a primitive artifact of extreme DIY cinema. Its brutalist aesthetic, rudimentary editing, and unapologetic dedication to excess make it a vital reference in the study of underground splatter and the history of amateur American video. But to witness it unintentionally, in daylight hours, surrounded by polite citizens watching it as calmly as one might a rerun of Baantjer, was a cultural trauma bordering on surreal.

Is it a good film? Hardly.

Is it an authentic cinematic experience? Absolutely.

I'll skip the analysis and get right to the important stuff. Here are some of the scenes included in the 1987 no-budget home video classic "Splatter Farm." (1) A 19 year old boy having sex with a 65 year old woman. (2) A man crapping out a knife. (3) A boy performing fellatio on himself with a severed head. (4)gay rape. (5) the human consumption of feces. Need I say more? The only thing that limits this movie from being the most shocking of all time is it's lousy direction and film stock. Granted, the ideas are nothing short of nauseatingly disgusting, however they just don't look real, which is obviously the result of an extremely low budget. Bottom line: Cheap White Trash Gore at it's best. Just rent it....when you're drunk perhaps. Have a good laugh, or vomit.

This is another scummy shot on video feature resurrected for DVD that plays on what other more marketable movies of the '80s were too afraid or weren't aloud to show due to moral crusaders at the MPAA. It's a simple film that doesn't have layers and since '87 the shock has been more effectively exploited. At the gory heart of it, "Splatter Farm" plays on taboos: thrill kills, mutilation of the dead, same sex acts with the dead, collecting dead parts, cannibalism, coprophilia, self-mutilation, animal slaughter, flagrant masturbation and, last but not least, incestuous overtones. As amateur and sometimes clumsily put together as it is, it's going to play on a viewer's nerves one way or another.

This truly is a DIY affair with only four main actors who did just about everything else behind the scenes also. Two of them are twins who are visiting their elderly aunt and late teens cousin on an isolated farm for their summer vacation. Their cousin is a make-up wearing sociopath who has no one to stop him from giving in to his sadistic urges. The movie started out pretty unsettling and strange with more focus on the demented cousin with too much time on his hands. As it progressed, it started to give the audience a break and lean towards the level-headed twins who are getting suspicious and attempting to put it all together. The aunt is caught in the middle and starts to make excuses either from blind motherly love or something of her own to hide.

As terrible as the production values go--including fake bodies that wouldn't fool the near-sighted even without their specs--this is unsettling in the dark ideas it brings to the chopping table. This gets right down to the nitty gritty of amoral without hesitation and with the help of the video quality makes you think there could be a case somewhere like this as out there as it is. Instead of lazily stomping on a synthesizer, the music helps stir up some mood by treating certain scenes with piano melodies and other abstract sounds. "Splatter Farm" had a number of flaws, but underneath the atrocious film quality this has what other underground and even mainstream horror films miss out on from time to time: a little bit of genuine creepiness. It could have faired better with a bigger budget and more time but all and all it's worth a single watch if that's your cup of bitter tea, otherwise the movie is more than likely going to be horrendous if you're only used to horror on a bigger scale. (Also submitted on http://fromblacktoredfilmreviews.blogspot.com/)

When one goes to see your regular, run-of-the-mill movie in theatres or on video, it can be expected that it wll be sanitized for our protection. Whether it be censors or nervous movie studios, it'll be tame and boring. With the excellent "Splatter Farm," however, everything is home-made video delight and anything is possible. So I say, seek this movie out and enjoy its unpredictability!