Shao Lin tong zi gong

I rented this movie because I thought that since the wu tang clan recommended it that it would be good. I was very wrong. Shaolin Chastity Kung Fu turns out to be an INCREDIBLY cheesy children's movie with a few good fight scenes, a lot of annoying characters and some shamefully misplaced scenes of brutal violence!

The story is about a bunch of kids whose village is destroyed by a gang of villains and then the children meet some shaolin monks who protect the kids and teach them kung fu so they can defend themselves from the villains. The plot is somewhat original for a kung fu film and the children (who age from about 8 to 20) have some impressive acrobatic skills. Another thing this movie has going for it is that it has a refreshingly good natured feel to it. The monks teach the children to be good and tolerant and accept people of different cultures. there's even some main characters who are Japanese and they are portrayed as honorable people! If you watch a lot of Chinese kung fu films you know how rare this is!

Even though i like the above mentioned aspects of the movie, overall it's just way too cheesy for my taste. I almost want to recommend this movie for family viewing but unfortunately even though 95 percent of the movie is a harmless child oriented action comedy there's a bunch of scenes filled with R rated violence. There's a part where a guy gets cut in half, a scene where a monk has his head crushed with a giant rock, a scene where two of the older kids crush a man's head with their bare hands with blood SPRAYING out of his head!, there's even a disturbing scene where a bunch of laughing nine year olds beat a man to a bloody death with bamboo sticks!! What the hell were they thinking?

Anyway to end on a happy note the director of this film along with the fabulous Alexander Lou went on to direct one of my favorite ninja movies of all time: MAFIA VS. NINJA!!! If you were disappointed with this one Mafia vs. Ninja will totally cheer you up!

After their village is destroyed by an evil gang of murderous bandits named the Nine Devils, a group of around thirty children from the ages of 5 to 18 years old flee into the woods with the Nine Devils in hot pursuit. Fortunately the kids are found by a pair of Shaolin monks who see it as their duty to protect them but noting the numbers and odds are against them, the monks decide they better train the youngsters in the art of Shaolin Kung Fu so they will be able to defend themselves if need be. Once their training is complete though, the kids decide to seek a measure of revenge...

While this movie may have some child-like moments of humor, it's really not suitable for kids at all. Its violence is brutal and the Nine Devils really don't hold back when battling with the youngsters, who are simply amazing given the amount of stunt work they do and the considerable physical abuse and punishment their roles demand. Also the resulting brutality when the kids take the fight to the Nine Devils gang in the end is not always easy to watch and frequently disturbs as it's little kids often dishing out said bloody vengeance. Certainly not your usual Kung Fu film and surprisingly entertaining and interesting in that respect if one can get past this one's sometimes shocking content.

First off, let me say I have been exposed to some pretty horrific kung fu films, and while this is certainly not the worst I've seen, it's pretty god-awful.

Secondly, this movie was released mainstream under the banner of the Wu-Tang Clan, who give an introduction at the beginning of the DVD. Now I've never really been a fan of the group but I must say I enjoyed hearing their intro, primarily because it was completely incomprehensible. Whenever you can understand what the guys are actually saying, the words themselves do not make any sense whatsoever; this may be due to the fact that they are introducing the wrong movie; one of the clan-members is actually talking about a movie called Mystery of Chess Boxing. WTF?

As far as the movie goes, it's pretty bad. There are some neat action sequences (particularly a guy who does a lethal head-butt, sending the two halves of a poor villager flying in opposite direction) but it's mostly a bunch of kids doing acrobatics in a field. Watch this movie for the horrible dubbing and the head-butt guy.

SHAOLIN CHASTITY KUNG FU (1981) is an early team-up of star Alexander Lou (aka Alexander Lo Rei) and director Robert Tai and boasts a simple, well-told, coherent tale in contrast with the more frenzied, delirious action found in such later collaborations of theirs as MAFIA VS. NINJA and NINJA FINAL DUEL. Although Lou is the nominal star here, he doesn't dominate the proceedings, but is instead one member of an ensemble cast and shares the stage with a number of talented fighter/performers. He does, however, get the girl, one Liu Hau Yi, who proves a capable partner for Lou in several scenes where they train and fight as a team.

The most original touch is the presence in the cast of two dozen or so boys and girls who train together in Shaolin Chastity Kung Fu and work as a team to defeat the bad guys, employing a number of bold, fresh strategies. The kids are evidently members of an actual acrobatic troupe and put their training and skills to great use here.

The action starts when a group of teens and children led by one older pair, Lou and Liu Hau Yi, flee their village in the wake of an attack by a bandit group, the Nine Devils, who overrun the village and kill all the inhabitants they can find. The bandits' motive is to use the village as a base from which to rescue their imprisoned boss, Golden Tiger, who is scheduled to be taken to court by a security team passing through. The bandits' attempt to pursue the fleeing kids is thwarted by a traveling Shaolin master and his disciple who fend off the bandits with their kung fu. The two monks then take the village refugees into hiding and teach them all kung fu in preparation for a spectacular climactic battle with the bandits after they've freed their leader.

A friendly Japanese martial artist, en route to meet the Shaolin Master, is waylaid by the bandits but puts up enough of a fight to allow his two sons to escape into the woods where they are later found by the village refugees and incorporated into the group. One amusing scene has the Japanese boys blithely enter the pond where the girls are bathing and dismiss the girls' loud protests, unaware that the two sexes don't bathe together in China. The master then sits them all down for a lesson in different customs. It's all handled with abundant good humor and charm.

The villains are big and muscular and wield a number of exotic, lethal weapons. Most of them are also somewhat buffoonish, which makes for plenty of comic encounters with the wily, agile kids. The action culminates in a series of battles in which the top martial artists in the group take on the most formidable bandits, while the kids, working in separate groups, ambush and entrap the rest of the gang using a host of different acrobatic team maneuvers and such simple tools as bamboo poles and ropes. It's all very imaginatively staged and employs the boys and girls equally in the action.

The cast is quite good and includes some familiar faces from Taiwan-based kung fu films. Liu Hau Yi is new to this reviewer, however, and her qualities of strength, spirit, fighting skill and abiding beauty make one wish her additional films, if any, were easier to identify and track down. As for the kids in the cast, "adorable" may be an overused term, but it certainly applies here. How often does one get to see large numbers of eager boys and girls engaging in rigorous Shaolin training scenes and then putting that training to use? All in all, it's a thoroughly invigorating and delightful kung fu film that should prove a pleasant surprise to longtime genre buffs. Be warned that there are some very quick, gruesome moments--one bullet-headed villain splits a villager in two with his head--but if the younger or more squeamish kung fu fans in your circles can handle such bits, the rest of the film could be a real treat for them. Be also aware that the current edition of this film being distributed in the U.S. is a low-cost, English-dubbed, poor-quality transfer which will simply have to do until a better copy comes along.

A huge group of kids are taken in by a group of Shaolin monks after they're left orphaned by a bloody and vicious bandit attack, but not before a teen fights a bull for no reason. Of course you know, This means war between the vicious bandits and the bloodthirsty kids in duels to the death. This kung-fu film is weird, yet great and above all just a very fun experience. Some nicely choreographed fights as well. Not among the best martial art films in the least. It still remains highly watchable none the less. It's just a shame that I had to buy the DVD presented by the Wu-tang clan just to see it. But oh well, such is life I guess.

My Grade: B

DVD Extras: An insanely nonsense intro by Wu-tang clan; Bonus fight scene; Wu-Tang music video; A compilation "Kung-fu classics" trailer; and Trailers for "Gangsteresses" & "Blazin'"