Alien Outlaw

I call this a perfect case movie because that's how much you'd have to drink to make it bearable. That being said, if you're drunk enough this might be watchable, it really is that bad. Plan 9 From Outer Space is a masterpiece compared to this disaster. Hey, toss me another beer.

I'm really surprised this film still exists. I'm guessing someone bought the rights a garage sale and put it on DVD.

The plot is that a trio of aliens land their spaceships somewhere in North Carolina, and for some inexplicable reason, go on a killing and rape rampage after finding a trailer load of guns belonging to carnival gunslinging gal. Amazingly, the aliens are not only able to easily master human weapons, but riding horses as well, because apparently there are equestrian events on Zeta Reticuli B.

Well, the gunslinging gal wears a dress with a hemline that barely covers her buttocks, no doubt to detract from the fact she was flat-chested and had misaligned teeth. (A professional actress- NOT!) After an encounter with the aliens where she barely avoids being sexually assaulted, there is a big showdown at the end where she kills all three aliens, who apparently went hunting on Earth with exploding backpacks.

E.T. this ain't, but you suspect that the reason they got backers is that you could get backers for anything with the word alien in the title. In some ways, the plot is like Predator. Except now Predator takes on a new luster compared to this.

Another note- There is a bit of nudity in this film, making it a drive-in classic. (You never see much nudity in today's films, thanks to the prudes at the MPAA.) I think it shows we've gotten more reserved on that since the 1980's, not less.

I have happy memories of a teenage summer staying near Sparta, NC, on one of the locations that this film uses. Specifically, in the film it was the farm house of the character played by Lash La Rue. I was staying with the family that owns that farm. The "barn" you see in some scenes there was actually the family's garage.

The film crew were there for several days and I joined in the shoot as a sort of unpaid runner, carrying things around. It was quite odd, not to say surreal, at times: a fifteen year old kid from the UK sitting on the porch chatting alternately with a grumpy B-western star, then the long legged heroine (they were FANTASTIC legs), then the "aliens", without their helmets. At lunchtimes we had fried chicken, mashed potato , biscuits and gravy I seem to remember. Tasted very good! At one point I overheard the director say something particularly uncomplimentary about his own film. He struck me as someone who could have made much better films if he had had the resources.

I just got the DVD, having never watched the film and it really is difficult to say anything positive about it as a piece of cinema. As a memento of the best summer of my life though it is priceless.

This sci-fi/comedy/western could've been a lot more entertaining with some expert editing, the performances by a cast of unknowns leave a lot to be desired also. Plot lines that lead no where, and a plodding story line make the 90 minutes seem like 3 hours. But if you like cheesy grade z action, with a tiny bit of gratuitous T&A thrown in you might want to lose 90 minutes you'll never get back. The entertainment I got from this shoe string budgeted flick was in watching the beautiful, almost scantily clad Kari Anderson (this was her only movie appearance??), and the chance to see two old (fairly well preserved) cowboy stars from the 40's Sunset Carson and Lash LaRue. An extra bonus for cowboy fans is the interview (more of a informal reminiscence for the old days of the B western) between Sunset and Lash.

What is up with these faux sci-fi films that mostly focus on thick-tongued yokels? The women in this (including the heroine) are used as props to flash their T&A and service unattractive men they'd never touch in real life. SO MUCH TIME is utterly wasted on nothing but dragging out redundant, boring scenes and forcing us to spend time with annoying, unlikable people we'd dread sitting next to on a Greyhound bus. The talent agency woman/office are laughably pretentious. Oh, they book for some of the biggest, classiest events in the country? The tacky, cheap office that looks like a factory break room says otherwise! The Fauxcahontas outfit the put-upon guntrick chick (Jesse) wears is stupid, as is the movie's insistence she bend over in it. The music is ugly. And apparently the plot is something we have no business being curious about. However, though she wasn't a good actor, I liked Jesse and cared about her getting a better agent (I really wasn't given a choice). Also, Lash had an incoherent charm in his role. However, my favorite character was the black gas station attendant. He was very pleasant and behaved naturally. Finally, I appreciated them cheering Jesse on to fight the aliens, even if she did so in a Party City "Pocahontas" costume she apparently lost the skirt to.