Vercingétorix - Kampf gegen Rom

"Vercingétorix" is the worst movie I have ever seen. It's a catastrophe beyond your imagination. Christophe Lambert is ridiculous as young Vercingetorix, and as old Vercingetorix too. The dialogues are so bad even I could have done better. The costumes look like rags. The fights are boring. Some scenes are so inconsistent it's funny... Example: imagine you've been living in a forest all of your life, without seeing the world. OK. Now, you're going out of the forest (obviously not a very thick one), and what can you see? A "via romana", a roman highway. Yes. Just a couple of trees from your cave. And who's riding on it, with a couple of bodyguards and one extra-horse? Julius Caesar himself and its fierce army. And the emperor just gives you a horse, because he has an extra one. And this explains why, some time later in the movie, Christophe Lambert says, giving a horse back to a roman soldier: "I give back to Caesar what belongs to Caesar."

I'd say the following things to people who have the opportunity to see "Druids" (by the way, what druids? Those white-clad weirdos jumping around with a sword?): If you are a cinema student, you might want to see this movie just to get what you should never do. If you are interested in bad movie experiments, don't miss it either (it's a cult movie for many people for that very reason). If you're just a normal person, don't lose 3 hours of your life. The first hour is very funny but the 2 following ones are long.

Much as I generally enjoy watching good old Mr. Lambert messing about in the usual mindless, middle-of-the-road sci-fi shenanigans that he likes to frequent, I get no satisfaction whatsoever from seeing him jump up and down violently on what's left of his career in a sick-makingly irredeemable cinematic dog such as this.

Like so many reviewers before me, I just don't know where to begin.

Let's see: a shockingly bad soundtrack, editing the likes of which I've never seen, pointless, half-finished subplots, props and costumes that look like they were bought from the joke shop down the road (well, from some comedian in the nearest Bulgarian farming village, anyway), the criminal comparison to Braveheart on the video sleeve, dialogue that makes Hellgate and Slugs sound like they were written by David Mamet, and the most Austrian Austrian they could find to star as the most Roman Roman of all time, Caesar. Worst of all, the "kill me now" plea so obvious in Mr. Lambert's eyes (when you can see them through the hair) from start through to merciful finish.

Easily the worst film I've seen for years. And in the last few years I've seen Octopus, Spiders, Spiders 2, Ripper, Bats, Turbulence 3 and Deathstalker IV. Somebody tell Christopher Lambert that it's not funny any more.

A truly horrible movie, from the acting to the camera-work, to the editing. I only watched it because I got the VHS for 50 cents and absolutely nothing was on TV. It barely beat out doing housework! Ugh!

I already knew Christopher Lambert couldn't act (he got lucky and was carried by Sean Connery in Highlander) but he surpassed even my low expectations. And that hairdo! Like Frankenstein on a bad hair day.

For what it's worth, Klaus Maria Brandauer did a good job (if you envision Caesar with a German accent) and Max von Sydow was, well...Max von Sydow.

Oh, and one of the tribes (a little over halfway through the move) all had pink hair and looked like some type of mutant's escaped from a Wendy's restaurant! There was even a guy who looked like Pipi Longstocking. Scary.

Anyway, if you want to watch something while you get really drunk (or otherwise inebriated) this might work, otherwise, save your 50 cents!

Convoluted story line, poor to bad acting , mediocre sets, thin plot. Even Christopher Lambert (Highlander) took a long vacation form acting when he made this one. Even the music has no redeeming value. Sounds like some kid playing with a computer generation program. Rent only if it is the last one on the shelf.

The English title itself is stupid and misleading.

Unfortunately it should have been the story of Vercingetorix, King of the Gauls, but it falls short in its intent. Although the Cast is hard-working and professional the movie is a weak action-adventure nonsense. If you compare it to "Gladiator" it pales and fades away into nothingness.

My supposition being, that it was conceived for a TV audience and probably was intended as a mini-series (a 2x90min. TV movie), in which case some silent and motionless scenes could be explained away as being the remnants of what should have been an interesting plot-twist of the longer version, and instead some battle scenes (some of which we might never know to which battlefield they would belong... must have been a director's afterthought just to bring life to an otherwise boring film) could have been better organized to follow the plot.

"Braveheart" and "Gladiator" it ain't. What remains is oblivion.

Poor Vercingetorix, had he lived to watch this, he would have hunted down the director rather than Julius Caesar. The French didn't honor much their hero this time...