Kommando Gold Crash

This film makes the work of Ed Wood look like highbrow art. It's neither a serious spy film nor a parody. The plot is absolutely ludicrous but not on a good sense. It's just nonsensical scenes strung together. The bits and pieces just don't come together. It is badly written and incompetently executed. It's not even one of those movies that are so bad that they are good. Gordon Jackson gives his standard George Cowley routine and looks misplaced among the hams he's acting with. I have no idea if this was meant to be what it is or whether it is sheer incompetence. Overall, just don't bother. D'oh.

My review was written in July 1987 after watching the film on Vestron video cassette.

"Gunpowder" is a destitute man's answer to James Bond. Actually, this low-budget British entry for the home video trade plays like a cheap version of Lindsay Shonteff's Bond spoofs and is made palatable by the efforts of a game cast.

Alarmingly implausible plot has Gordon Jackson tearing his hair out as a U. K. government official faced with news that lots of gold is being sold, undermining Western currencies and economics. He calls for Gunpowder, the special agent tem of Gunn (David Giliam, with an American accent) and his partner Powder (Martin Potter, swishily entertaining as an effete sidekick).

A mad scientist Dr Vacho (David Miller, wearing a gold bow tie and el) is in France, scheming to take over by virtue of his invention of causing gold to stay in liquid form without heating. He hasBritish scientist Penny Keynes (Susan Rutherford) kidnapped to help him, but the heroes rescue her and save the day. A subplot involving a pretty double agent improbably named Coffee Carradine (Debra Burton) is typically tongue-in-cheek.

Apart from a helicopter/speed boat chase, film is hurt by its inadequate budget, much of which appears to be in the form of donations or extensive product plugola such as shameless hawking of a dairy (that serves as a front fot the baddies' gold-smuggling operations). Rachel Lawrence portrays the Miss Moneypenny-styled character of this series, with the switch that she joins in he action in the final reel, commando-style.

Having seen and enjoyed all of Norman J. Warren's horror movies, I was intrigued to see this Bond spoof to see how it compared. Sadly, it doesn't. The budget is no bigger but this kind of expansive action story just doesn't work on a tiny budget, as any viewer of action cinema will tell you. Instead we get a ridiculously unfunny scenario with a couple of guys, Gun and Powder; the effete one is played by Martin Potter of SATAN'S SLAVE and CRAZE fame. Their adventures involve them being shouted at by an exasperated Gordon Jackson, fighting off random black henchmen, and shooting up the woods at the climax. The 'seduction' sequence in the milk shop is perhaps the cringiest thing I've ever seen on screen.