The Astrologer

Astrologist Alexei Abarnel (Bob Byrd) is the head of the InterZod institute which uses an array of telescopes and computers to take in information of the skys and apply it to individuals and measure the Zodiatic Potential (or ZP) of specific individuals to measure they propensity for good and evil. As Alexei analyzes information that can hopefully lead him to the Second coming, the intstitute also notes a violent cult leader in India named Kajerste (Mark Buntzman) who might be the anti-christ.

The Astrologer (later released as The Suicide Cult) is the first film made by noted producer/director James Glickenhaus who'd later be better known for his action films such as Exterminator and The Soldier as well as producing or distributing various cult b-films like Maniac Cop or Frankenhooker. Using $20,000 he inherited, Glickenhaus acquired the rights to his father in law John Cameron's novel The Astrologer. After failing to find a distributor, Glickenhaus eventually traveled around the Southern United States and showcased the film at various drive-ins over a period of nine months with not much success. Glickenhaus has gone on to acknowledge the film was not very good and said it played a factor in his focus towards more action oriented material like The Exterminator which he'd deliberately designed to have more action and less dialogue than The Astrologer. Glickenhaus would eventually sell the film to 21st Century Film Corporation who'd re-edit and re-title it as The Suicide Cult hoping to capitalize on the then recent Jonestown tragedy, but whether this was successful or not I can't say. Whether you call it The Astrologer or The Suicide Cult, the movie's a very silly and often roughly produced exercise for a first time director.

From a rambling opening narration that clumsily establishes InterZod, Alexei Abarnel, and the context of searching for the Second Coming, the movie feels very flabby and directionless with no real story or plot going on and instead just a directionless series of events that happen. There's many scenes of Alexei in board meetings or viewing film footage in a darkened board room and the focus of the film in the first half hour bounces around different times and locations with the grace of a needle skipping on a record. I guess there's some unintentional hilarity to be had from the fact the movie is taking its whole astrology focus so seriously even trying to tie it in with political machinations of Washington D. C., but there's so little actual conflict in this film that until the last 15 minutes it never feels like anything is actually at stake and even then not really and capped off with a moment of unintentional humor.

This is prime bad movie fodder and if it weren't for the ample supply of nudity it would've appeared on MST3K a long time ago. For bad movie fans, this will be a treat.

Do you know that feeling when you already sat halfway through a certain movie, and then you suddenly realize you still don't have the slightest clue what it's about or where the plot is heading towards to? I have, and it's usually very frustrating, but for some inexplicable reason, it wasn't too frustrating during "The Astrologer".

This obscure and low-budgeted mid-70s oddity manages to be terribly bad and incomprehensible, and yet strangely compelling all at once! The common sense functions of my brain wanted to stop watching, or at least push the fast-forward button, at several points throughout the movie, but I just couldn't. From what I gather, both a self-acclaimed scientific genius and an evil Indian hypnotist are looking for a girl who shares her exact same time of birth with that of the Virgin Mary, because she's able to conceive the Second Coming. Or something... The scientist found her, and it's the lovely looking Monica Tidwell. He even married the girl but refuses to have sex with her, because immaculate conception needs to take place. Or something...

You should probably look for an accurate plot description elsewhere or try to decipher source novel by John Cameron (not James...). All I can say is that "The Astrologer" is worth seeing for fans of 70s cult/trash, if only for the gratuitous nude sequences of Tidwell (the poor girl even must undress for a fortune telling) and a few random but gory kills. It's also the debut of James Glickenhaus, who would later direct a couple of modest cult horror/action hits like "The Exterminator", "The Soldier" and "McBain".

If you like bad movies watch this right away. Hope one day this makes it to How Did This Get Made.

Also released as SUICIDE CLUB.

Alexei, wealthy astrologer and leader of a secret intelligence agency called Interzod, listens to radio signals from the Crab Nebula and is obsessed with a demonic Indian revolutionary, Kajerste (played with Pan-like creepiness by producer Mark Buntzman).

The Interzod board of directors sit around watching films of mutilated victims whose deaths they "arranged." One of their female agents gets close to Kajerste, only to be murdered during a ritual sex ceremony. Next, a congressman and Alexei's "gal Friday" sneak into Kajerste's jungle camp, intending to sedate him, plant electrodes in his head, and somehow control his actions via TV; the plan goes to hell and they die.

We learn that Kajerste, product of a virgin birth, is also manipulated by unnamed evil forces. A subplot involves Alexei's ditzy wife, who is apparently the reincarnation of the Blessed Mother.

Apart from an unusual scene in which a woman is hypnotized to stab herself to death, this movie is confusing and talky. Director Glickenhaus went on to make his second film, THE EXTERMINATOR (1981), which was a hit. He has a cameo role as a spy who drives a sports car.

It may be me, but I was unable to really grasp the plot or follow the story. The acting to me seemed bland and I truly did not care about the story. However, every time Monica Tidwell is on screen, it gets your attention. Monica Tidwell is beyond breathtaking and is a good actor as well. She is pure eye candy and is the strongest attribute of the movie. Monica Tidwell has a limited acting career and was also a professional model in the 70's. There is something about her that keeps you watching. I am not sure, but besides watching her performance, I think there is a plot in the movie as well. Either way, its worth a watch just for Monica Tidwell.