The Return of Johnny Wadd©

John Holmes looks tired and distracted walking through a reprise of his famous role in THE RETURN OF JOHNNY WADD. He recites his dialog in a monotone, as if playing under protest, and the fans suffer.

Bob Chinn teamed with him in a classic (for porn) series of movies during the 1970s, but this Patti Rhodes shot-on-video effort is the pits.

The best scene is a completely extraneous opening sex bout (shot in 1993) between Tony Tedeschi and Heidi Cat. Ms. Cat's enthusiasm and fluent deep-throat technique are impressive, though her ultra-fake breasts are disconcerting.

Video proper concerns detective Johnny Wadd investigating the death of his former colleague Warren North. Sheri St. Clair gives the best performance as the daughter of Wadd's old chum Laila, and she actually generates some interest in the "is she a good guy or a bad guy" vein.

But the plot here is miserable, concerning diamonds (a cheap, unconvincing prop) left by Warren for safekeeping with Wadd, and a duplicitous police chief. Bunny Bleu, looking extremely cute as a blonde long before her breast-enlargement phase, does a terrible job of delivering her dialog, and overall the sloppy video exhibits poor sound editing and minimal production values.

Chinn & Holmes are oft-ridiculed for their silly action scenes, but without Bob his minimal fight scenes here staged by Rhodes are truly awful. Picture climaxes with an idiotic freeze frame as cute cop Kim Carson supposedly saves Wadd's life in an incipient gun battle.

Billy Dee does a lousy job of trying to apply an accent to his Latin role, but both Mai Lin and Melissa Melendez are stimulating in their sex scenes, latter providing much-needed natural big breasts after the Heidi Cat silicone episode.

Holmes' sardonic film noir-styled narration at the end, after he donates his share of the diamonds to a Catholic orphanage (!) is horribly written, so it's no surprise that neither Rhodes nor scripter Raven Touchstone is credited on screen.