Hot Wax Zombies on Wheels

I knew about this movie only by its title, but I never actually got around to watching it before now in 2024. I have to say that I wasn't really harboring much of any grand expectations to director Michael Roush and writer Elizabeth Bergholz. But given the movie's title, I figured that I would be in for a horror comedy.

This was a brutally dull movie to sit through. Especially since the storyline was a dumpster fire of a storyline. There was nothing enjoyable or entertaining about the rubbish that writer Elizabeth Bergholz had conjured up for this movie.

I gave up 42 minutes into the movie, as it was painstakingly obvious that there would never be any zombies in the movie. And I was ready to claw my eyes out from sheer and utter boredom from the lack of an interesting narrative. So yeah, the movie's title was pretty misleading.

The only familiar face on the cast list, for me, was actor Nils Allen Stewart. I can't say that the acting performances in the movie were particularly impressive or memorable. But at least they weren't among the worst of acting performances that I've witnessed in zombie movies. Usually I like watching movies with a cast ensemble of unfamiliar talents on the screen, but I have to say that the actors and actresses didn't really have much of anything wholesome to work with here.

This is not a movie that I will ever return to attempt finish watching. Nor is it a movie that I would recommend for fans of the horror comedy genre. There just simply wasn't a single ounce of laughter anywhere to be had.

Well, maybe if you a young teenager watching this movie, you might find something worthwhile in the movie.

My rating of this abysmal dung heap lands on a one out of ten stars.

For the record, I am a connoisseur of bad movies. Every Sunday I grab a cold 40 (of beer) and watch a bad movie with my buddies. I love movies that try hard, yet make you wonder, "What the hell were they thinking?" We've seen some great ones: Rad, Midnight Madness, Escape from New York, Gymkata, Breakin'...

From the title, Hot Wax Zombies on Wheels, I thought I'd really found a film with promise. Oh how horribly wrong I was! This movie is too bad to even laugh at, let alone with. It's obvious that they weren't even trying. I'm still not sure whether they were trying for horror spoof or just soft porn. Either way, they failed miserably. Even if you could tolerate the bad acting, inane dialogue, and incomprehensible plot, you still won't be able to handle the cartoon sound effects, flying fish in every other scene, and excruciatingly slow pace. Yes, it's even worse than Frankenhooker.

I've never written a review here before, but I felt compelled to do so in the hope that I can prevent others from wasting their time and money on this mess.

Granted this will not win any awards, but I found it funny, in a stupid kind of way. The director obviously didn't intend for the film to be a serious horror film, and it's in the very presentation of it being a serious film that makes it funny. To me, this is a grab-a-beer-sit-and-giggle movie. It's a little slow in the first 15 minutes, but then seems to pick up tempo. The soundtrack is great! I've been looking for the soundtrack to buy, but can;t seem to find it. For anyone interested in seeing this - there's very little skin, though it does have some topless scenes. It's a romp, if you're in a silly mood. Having been around independent productions, the screen quality of this film is tremendous.

My only requirement is production value. I'm just not down with 7th grade video projects for the camera club. That brings us to this. This is just friggen pathetic. FIN

You say you want a great storyline?

You sau you want excellent directing?

You say you want superb writing?

You say you want an amazing cast with incredible acting?

You say you want a musical tracl for the ages?

You say you want to be glued to your seat wonding what comes next?

You say you want the most satisfyig movie you've ever seen?

Well you better think about looking elsewhere because this puppy fais on every measurement except the 38 Double D's.

It's a movie that is basically one step above Troma garbage. A small step at that.

Not sure who put the money up for this fiasco, bt they must have lost a bundle.