Der goldene Tempel der Amazonen

I am now the proud owner of 26 Jess Franco movies, and after buying this one (as part of the Shriek Show "Jungle Girls" set), I think it may be time to admit I have a problem and seek out the proper 12-step group.

A young girls is orphaned after her missionary parents are murdered by the titular (or should that be tit-ular?) Amazons. She decides to seek revenge (but not of course until she has matured into a sexy teenage Analia Ivers with large, succulent,and perpetually exposed breasts). With her pet monkey, a cartoonish African witch doctor, and some greedy explorers she sets off to find the Golden Temple of the Amazons. Although this is supposedly set in Africa and everyone else is black, the Amazons are all Nordic blonde girls for some reason. And in what is not exactly a blow for feminism, the legendary tribe of females has a male leader--a fat, middle-aged white guy who does little more than stage half-naked catfights and then rape the winner.

Franco fans are, of course, used to this kind of inanity--but even they are not used to this level of incompetent film-making. Frankly, this looks someone's home movies shot at the zoo after Dad has had a few too many beers (albeit with Mom and Big Sis taking their tops off a lot). It's also surprisingly tame--producer Daniel Lesseur even claims that it was supposed to be a family film! While I would never expose MY children to this kind of rampant nudity, bad taste, and incompetent film-making, he's right in that this certainly doesn't make it as an adult movie in any sense of the word. There is a hilarious scene where the older female explorer (let's call her "Mom")goes skinny-dipping and discovers a cave which she proceeds to explores without, you know, actually putting her clothes back on. Mostly though it's more smutty than erotic, such as the scene where the male explorer, played by a gray-bearded Anthony Mayans, is straddling the barely dressed, barely legal heroine as they ride an elephant and lasciviously tells her that he really isn't interested in being her father. Yep, fun for the whole family alright.

Remember the first step is to admit that we are powerless over Franco and that his films have become unwatchable.

Beyond bad; and cheaper than cheap. Insulting. Ugly. Sick. The nubile beauty who seems to be the heroine is beautiful enough. But this movie is like putting a kitten into a blender. Sad. Watched the girl in the petting zoo; then gave up. What made it so bad? A bunch of women in the nude. And sadly, they shouldn't be. Stereotypical characters, predictable, tedious.

From the directors Alain Payet and an uncredited Jess Franco comes this exploitive film about topless Amazonian babes who pillage and kill a young girl's parents. Years go by, and the girl now a woman by the name of Liana (Jess Fronco regular, Analia Ivars), along with some new found friends, has to fight the Amazon babes out of revenge. Bad acting, campy dialog, topless women, and a very silly story collide to make this one of Franco's more watchable efforts of his more recent output. It has way to much stock footage of wildlife animals though, so take of that what you will.

My Grade: B-

DVD Extras: Photo Gallery; useless Alternate Scenes; Interview with Eurocine's Daniel Lasoeur; Promo Trailer; Trailers for "Nightmares come at midnight", "Faceless", "Massacre in Dinosaur Valley", and "Man from Deep River"

Eye Candy: all the women in the film remain topless, and one gets completely nude

A curious and almost unknown adventure movie.

Directed jointly by the French director Alain Payet and the Spanish Jesús Franco, this French production can be defined as a simple B-series adventure film with the greatest incentive of seeing the aforementioned semi-nude Amazonas in the middle of a script whose simplicity and lack of depth does not prevent him from being entertained.

The story, basically, an adaptation of Tarzan in female, that of a young girl whose parents were killed by a savage tribe of Amazons, led by a mysterious leader whom they follow and worship as a god. The girl grows in the middle of a wild environment, raised by the family steward and with a monkey as best friend and that after running into a missionary, who will confess the truth about their parents will decide to go in search of revenge.

However, along the way you will run into a shaman from an African tribe with magic tricks and a couple of archaeologists who will accompany you in your journey through the jungle to the Golden Temple of the Amazons.

The film, mostly of scenes, is accompanied by a series of melodies set perhaps to disguise the lack of dialogue, giving the film a clearly dreamlike tone.

The lack of budget is more than evident, but they all supplement with wonderful natural settings, and a temple that is not badly made, the story simple, but clear, the girl the Spanish actress Analía Ivars is beautiful, and together, her Good photography and good rhythm make it an entertaining and pleasant product to see without a doubt.

I really dont know where to begin, or end.... Bad bad acting, bad costumes BAD WIGS, bad sets (the golden walls in the mine is so obviously painted tin foil), ...Out of the 11 or so "amazon" women, not one of them looks like she ever worked out a DAY in her life.. Flab, banana boobs, cottage cheese arses, ...If it cost more than ten bucks and a pizza party to make this movie, i'd be shocked...........its really really bad.. Filmmakers, watch this movie please so you know what directioin NOT to go on ...