Geheimkommando D-E-A-T-H - Lady Ninja

As a rule, even though I am a dyed-in-the-wool hardcore fan of martial arts films, I have to go on record and state that I have a blazing hatred for ninja movies. Good movies about ninjas are few and far between, such as Super Ninjas, the Kozure Okami (Lone Wolf and Cub) series and the outstanding Challenge of the Ninja (aka Shaolin Challenges Ninja), so when you find a good one, cherish it. Most of the others are simply mediocre like the suckass Sho Kosugi flicks of the 1980's (Revenge of the Ninja, Enter the Ninja and others), or else just awful like the Swedish-made Ninja Mission, one of the handful of films that I have walked out on. Then there are films like Challenge of the Lady Ninja. This film is an unmitigated turdstorm, replete with horrid dubbing, a ridiculous plot, martial skills that veer toward the superhuman, and camera-work that makes one ask if it was lensed by Stevie Wonder. That said, it stars Chia Ling as a Chinese woman who somehow joins a clan of Japanese ninja and masters their skills. Chia Ling can throw down with the best of them (as seen in the unjustly ignored classic 13 Evil Bandits, aka Against the Drunken Cat Paws), looks terrific in a red ninja outfit, and is lots of fun to watch here, but the real selling point here is the fact that Challenge of the Lady Ninja is the martial arts film that Ed Wood might have made if he were still alive. This is in many ways the Plan Nine from Outer Space of kung fu films (and there are a lot of strong contenders for that dubious honor), what with a painful script, terrible acting and my favorite element: despite the fact that the story takes place in World War II, we see 1970's Cadillacs as period automobiles. The plot is utterly beside the point; just sit there in amazement as the film unfolds and realize that it is practically impossible to intentionally make a bad movie that is as entertaining as this one.

While Hong Kong movie studios succeeded in pioneering new and innovative directions for their movies, Taiwan movie studios never outgrew their old school kung-fu movies. This movie is probably their last gasp at trying to hold on to the kung-fu movie format, only that they've mixed ladies in skimpy swimsuits to spice up the action.

Taiwan movies seems to be made by a committee of old school (or just old) producers that learned their craft in a certain way, and never changed. This movie was made in the late '80s, but looks like something out of the '70s. Their quality is never high, and by the end of the '70s they were no match for the quality of Hong Kong movies.

Hong Kong kung fu star Chen Kuan Tai stars in this movie. Chen is one of the few kung fu action movie star that successfully made transition into more modern movie format. He looks good in this movie. I can't say the same for other actors. The ladies that's supposed to be the babes in this movie looks too old to be playing this type of a role. They probably were babes for the age people who made this movie.

Quality wise this movie is about par for a Taiwanese movie. You can look for better quality movies from Hong Kong, and they're a better bet for this type of an entertainment.

The ninja stuff (magic tricks & abundant wirework) is mostly cheesy and ridiculous, but there are some enjoyable parts to this movie: the training sequences (these ladies ARE flexible), one's woman specialty which seems to be seductive stripping & dances performed by a mirage of her (you can definitely see why no man can resist her), some of the fight scenes when they stay on the ground, and a couple of outrageous plot twists near the end (which pretty much cancel the entire film!). The arguably most impressive fighter is a henchwoman who is identified as a Tae Kwon Do expert; she has a fight against the Lady Ninja of the title that soon turns into a water-y wrestling match. And although I have nothing against water-y female wrestling matches, I do have to wonder if it was done this way simply because our lead could not keep up with the TKD expert in a straight fight. ** out of 4.

I am lucky enough to have a friend who has this movie, and I have got to say that anyone who loves B-movies MUST find this somehow. Just look at this list!

• Bad English dubbing

• Inconsistent and unexplained plot elements

• Racial prejudice against Japanese (this was made in Hong Kong, after all)

• The kicker: The Empire's theme from Star Wars is the introduction music

It begins immediately. No credits or anything, you pop in the tape and the movie starts immediately. Stuff happens, most of which has been mentioned by the other reviewer. I won't bother to explain all of it. Suffice it to say, FIND THIS MOVIE NOW!

CHALLENGE OF THE LADY NINJA (1983) is a product of the same star-director team (Chen Kuan Tai, Elsa Yeung, Lee Tso Nam) that gave us A LIFE OF NINJA (1983), which I've also reviewed on this site. This one involves a Chinese woman (Elsa Yeung) who trains as a ninja in Japan and returns to Shanghai for the funeral of her father, a martial arts teacher who was killed in a conflict with a local crime boss known for collaborating with the Japanese occupiers. She then embarks on a campaign to recruit and train three female ninjas to help her kill the crime boss (Chen Kuan Tai). Why she's not considered a traitor herself for training in Japan at such a time is never addressed. The film is set during the war although you wouldn't know it from the fashions, hairstyles, late-model cars, interior décor and new building architecture that all scream early 1980s. There isn't a single trace of period detail in the entire film.

While the film plays lip service to a female empowerment theme with its female ninja figures, it crosses the line frequently into rank exploitation with scenes of women mud wrestling, fighting in swimsuits in shallow pools of water, and shots of cleavage and shaking booties in scenes where ninja seduction strategies are employed by one of the recruits, a prostitute-turned-ninja. Dressed in red ninja garb, the ladies can project multiple versions of themselves or turn into a pink bikini-clad version of themselves, all to distract their attackers. These techniques would pop up 20-odd years later in the ninja-themed anime series, "Naruto."

Eventually, a twist involving one of the main characters' loyalties causes a change in everybody's plans and culminates in a battle between Elsa and her male rival from the Japanese ninja school. Elsa is attractive and competent in a substantial fighting role although she's doubled in all of her acrobatic stunts. Chen Kuan Tai (BOXER FROM SHANTUNG, EXECUTIONERS FROM SHAOLIN) doesn't have enough fighting scenes for a star of his stature and background. Robert Tai, a noted action choreographer and sometime director (NINJA: THE FINAL DUEL), plays a tattooed Japanese killer sent after Elsa and her team. The fight scenes involving the lady ninjas are generally quite imaginative and fun to watch, even if, from a narrative and production standpoint, the movie is below average. A LIFE OF NINJA was much better. I watched this on a VHS tape edition from Goodtimes Home Video under the title, CHALLENGE OF THE LADY NINJA. The English dubbing is rather poor.