Kiba, der Leibwächter - Seine Rechte mäht wie eine Sense

Anything that has Sonny Chiba deserves at least a 5. I don't know what idiot would only rate this movie at 3. This movie is good for anyone that can truly appreciate a solid martial arts movie. It is about a woman who drug bosses in Japan want to kill. She asks for a bodyguard and Sonny Chiba answers the call. The movie starts with a scene in which 2 men are pretending to be Bruce Lee and Sonny Chiba from the real world. While this has nothing to do with the movie, who hasn't played that scenario in their mind? It may be a slow movie, but that doesn't make it boring. I would recommend this movie to anyone who truly likes Sonny Chiba. On top of this, the movie starts with a little quote that is supposed to be from Ezekiel 29:17 (but it is not). This will be very interesting to all of you extremely cool Pulp Fiction fans.

After her husband is shot in New York, an attractive woman named "Reiko Miwa" (Mari Atsumi) flees to Tokyo, intending to sell the illegal drugs her late husband had taken from the mafia. Meanwhile, on another flight bound for Tokyo, a martial arts master named "Naoto Kiba" (Shinichi 'Sonny' Chiba) becomes the target of several hitmen due to a separate drug-related issue. After dispatching all of the armed thugs, he holds a press conference where he announces that he will protect anyone who comes forward with information, leading to the arrest of key members of the Japanese drug cartels. Shortly afterward, Reiko approaches him and asks for his protection. Now, rather than reveal more, I'll just say that this was not one of Sonny Chiba's better films, largely due to poor camera work and abbreviated individual fight scenes. Additionally, the multiple scenes where Naoto Kiba confronts armed gunmen and subdues them without getting shot felt quite implausible. In any case, while I don't consider this to be a terrible martial arts film, the aforementioned weaknesses were too noticeable to overlook, and I've rated it accordingly. Slightly below average.

Even if you are a die-hard Sonny Chiba fan there is no reason to see this snooze-fest. However, watch the first five minutes for a tacked-on bit shot at a Times Square dojo in the mid-'70's that has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of the film. That sequence is so badly-acted and ludicrous that you'll wet yourself laughing! The sequence goes something like this:

CAMERA PANS UP STAIRCASE, GOES INTO DOJO.

An Hispanic martial arts guy does a pointless routine with two pair of nunchaku ("chucks") and comments to an Italian-looking karate guy "That's how Bruce Lee woulda done it!" The Italian guy says "That's pretty good, but here's how Sonny Chiba woulda done it!" He then proceeds to approximate some of Chiba's trademark moves from THE STREET FIGHTER on some poor student. After leaving the poor student hanging by his nuts, the two martial artists rub their chins and muse "I wonder what Sonny Chiba's doing now?" Then the movie lurches to a start. You may now turn off your vcr and do something useful like eat your own earwax.

Beginning with a recitation of Ezekiel 25:17 (later, memorably used in "Pulp Fiction"), "The Bodyguard" is a tacky but fun Shin'ichi "Sonny" Chiba vehicle. He plays Kiba, who returns to Japan after some time in NYC, and is now a man on a mission, waging a one-man war on drugs. To further his aim, he hires on as bodyguard to the pretty Reiko Miwa (Mari Atsumi), who is definitely not playing it straight with him.

"The Bodyguard" is cheesy in so many departments: script, dialogue, supporting performances, etc. It's actually priceless how bad this is. Don't waste time trying to scrutinize THIS story, just enjoy the mayhem, of which there is a fair amount.

Overall, this is definitely a lesser Chiba movie, but it's so endlessly amusing that I was entertained, start to finish. It really doesn't give the star that many opportunities to strut his stuff, but there are some hysterical over-the-top gore gags, including a severed arm and a severed head. And the bad guys are a truly scummy (and supposedly colorful) lot, who ham it up something fierce whenever they get mowed down. They are also some of the STUPIDEST bad guys you'll ever see in an action movie.

"The Bodyguard" is garbage, plain and simple, but for me it was pretty agreeable in its badness. It's the kind of thing I'd recommend that you watch with your friends and some beers.

There are brief, pointless cameos by Aaron Banks and Bill Louie in the early parts of the U. S. version.

Six out of 10.

For masochists. 1976's The Bodyguard is a grade Z Karate opera that gives proof that the martial arts craze of 30 years ago was just that, crazy. Unless you like to watch film stock wasted, don't buy this incompetent junk. I got it at Wally World and thought it would be a hoot. It wasn't.

What makes this stuff so mindbogglingly, stupefyingly, crushingheadachingly bad isn't that it's all of those adjectives and so much more. It's because there are folks who just can't get enough of this Kungfoolishness.

Hell, there are people in this country who collect Precious Moments figurines, too, so I guess we're all even.