Bai ma hei qi

The acting, (overacting) directing, and almost impossible to understand English dubbing, make this movie very difficult to watch.

This movie opens with the premise that if a new sheriff is needed you select two prisoners and give them the job with a reminder not to run off. Captain Obvious says "Realism will not be necessary". They steal a blind guys wagon but in the next scene they are attacked while walking separately. Next they arrive at a brothel and meet Eric Tsang in drag. Bolo wants the ugliest woman in the brothel.

At about this point I gave up trying to summarize what was happening. The scenes were so incoherent it would take longer to describe what was happening than it would take to watch and in either case you still wouldn't understand it.

The fights were also impossible to describe. They were not fighting but what was that? I just can't explain the arms flapping around and the legs moving.

There is no story to the point where whatever is happening at any moment turns into something unrelated in the next minute. Yet still I kept watching because they were still in a brothel and girls and perhaps bare breasts. Since spoilers are forbidden I cannot say what I saw.

Since I cannot explain nor summarize this movie I also cannot review this movie nor rate it nor recommend it.

This kung fu comedy from 1977 seems to be taking a page from jackie chan's book but without so much a thought given to anything as quaint as a plot. Lots and lots and lots of excellently choreographed fights which seem to happen for no particularly connected reasons. There's something about bolo becoming a sheriff but past that i couldn't tell why anything that was happening on screen was happening. A bunch of fairly low brow humor abounds and that was decent, a few good laughs are in there. And in the strangest twist the soundtrack seems to consist mainly of an elevator muzak version of Blood, Sweat & Tears' song You've Made Me so Very Happy. Probably should have watched this high.

By far thee most hilarious, cracked-out kung-fu movie I have EVER seen!!! I am really sad so few people have ever heard of it; this is pure gold!!

Basically, this is a western gangster movie adapted to a rural Chinese kung-fu setting. VERY rural! These two misfits get out of jail by being "volunteered" to "sheriff" some middle-of nowhere podunk town. The town turns out to be completely run by local gangsters, and much back-stabbing and double-crossing ensues.

But this is a comedy! A really ballsey, absurd comedy! And not only that, but as far as I can tell, there is such a reliance on puns and obscure cultural references that didn't translate through to the English dub (and the dub acting is really bizarre/great as well!), that you'll be screaming WTF all the way through the movie!) really, there is some CRAZY stuff in this movie what makes no sense, unless maybe if you are Chinese? Don't expect to have any idea what is going on until you've seen it quite a few times, and even then, some bits are just inexplicable (the hand game? 426? the oranges!?!)

And to top it ALL off, this thing is actually CHOCK FULL OF SOME GREAT KUNG-FU! And it's kinda long, at that! Sure, much of it is totally ridiculous, but the execution and choreography of it all is really quite tight! And where else do you get to see _Yang Sze_ whooping ash with a chair? Crutches? Sandals!? A freakin wok!?!

Still, the story itself is even interesting. An archetypal, fable-like tale of the big dumb brute teaming up with the smart, witty, irreverent trickster to cause tons of mischief.)

Gloriously absurd and discordian to it's fullest.)

I have reviewed quite a few martial arts films over the last few years, so my hating this film isn't because I don't like the genre. Also, I have a very high tolerance for "bad" martial arts films, so this one had to be really, really bad for me to give up on and and not even finish the film (something I rarely ever do). Understand that I have watched such films to its conclusion as one with guys in gorilla costumes doing kung fu and their masters using their three foot tongues as weapons--yet I just couldn't finish BOLO.

So why did I hate this film so much? Well, it was the worst of all possible worlds. First, the print from EPI/Gotham City was just terrible and the film only came in the cheesy dubbed version. Second, the film was too often played for very broad and dumb laughs. Googly eyes, silly grins, dumb cartoon-like sound effects and an annoying over-the-top gay character all were painfully unfunny. Third, even with bad dubbing and dumb comedy(?), the film could have been decent if the martial arts action had been better--which it wasn't. Instead of hitting each other or doing what looks like real martial arts, it was too choreographed and looked quite fake. Midway through the film, I was fantasizing about Sonny Chiba stomping onto the set and kicking everyone's butt--that's how much I disliked the film.

Yuck.