Safety Patrol! - Mit Sicherheit ins Chaos

Oh come on now people, this movie was not nearly as bad as you all say it is. Well, actually it's probably worse. The jokes and cameos at first just made my eyes tear up with tears of sadness, but then eventually they evolved to me holding a bucket and vomiting in it. Yes, the movie is that bad.

But there is a shining light. There is a young girl in the movie who is dressed, I agree, like a whore. And that is the best part of the movie. The way all of her very tight clothes bind so tightly against her skinny frame, is such a treat, it makes the entire movie worth watching. I gave this movie a 10, just because of her. That's all.

I tried to think of something nice about this film but I couldn't, so I'll just rant instead. The many cameos in this movie (Weird Al Yankovic, Leslie Nielsen, John Walsh, etc.) prove that Disney has way too much money to spend on crap films such as this. This film is about an accident prone boy named Scout Bozell (who names their kid Scout?) who's only desire in life is to become a "safety" (member of the safety patrol). I could spend my time writing a detail plot synopsis, but I really don't want to seeing how I already wasted too much time even watching this film. So I'll make it short. Scout becomes a member of safety patrol, changes schools, feuds with bad guys, makes new friends, gets new safety patrol, loses friends, gets set up by bad guys, cries, gets old friends back, exposes bad guys, and gets girl, who is a 6th grader dressed up to resemble, and I'm sorry, a cheap whore. Within this movie is poor writing, even worse acting, and a lot of cameos by stars with too much time on their hands. This film is terrible, horrible, awful, and bad. I think the only reason I watched it is because I wanted to see if anything could have made it suck less. Really all I accomplished was wasting a couple hours when I should have been sleeping. I'd recommend that if you're channel surfing and you happen to see that "Safety Patrol" is on, turn off your television sets and go play outside. Don't put yourself through the self-inflicted torture that I did. You'll never be able to see Disney in the same light again. There is absolutely nothing good you can say about this film...so don't try.

I can't believe they gave Leslie Neilsen second billing in this thing. I am obviously far too old for this genre of film, but my mother and I watched this because we both enjoy Leslie Neilsen. He's in the movie posters, but he's in the movie for like 15 seconds and has no impact on the plot whatsoever. He was hilarious when he was on, but he wasn't on long enough.

The film itself is not good. It was not a movie designed to expand pre-teens' perception of the world, or anything else. Overall, a weak effort from all involved.

This is probably the most far fetched and one of the stupidist movies i have ever seen. Yet for some reason, it caught my interest when it was priced for $3.99 at a supermarket. They were probably right when this was nothing more than a disney tv movie, but they still found a way to get it onto VHS. Anyway, the acting wasn't bad and bug hall is adorable...in a funny sort of way. And don't be fooled, Leslie Neilson has about the smallest part in this movie. Weird Al Yankovick had a small role but it was very funny. Altogether, Although this was probably one of the stupidist storylines in the world, the acting was well done and some of it was actually funny. I'd give it 2 out of 5 stars but it is worth a look, especially 4 kiddo's under 9.

I think everybody here is reading a little bit too much into what is your typical Disney Channel film. Director Savage Steve Holland hasn't changed much since his 80's fare like "Better Off Dead", only this time out the premise has moved from high school to junior high. Admittedly, the sexual undertones (the slutty look of the film's heroine) is a bit over-the-top for a film mainly aimed at pre-teens, and the kids I watched the film with found her to be hideous, so go figure. But Bug Hall turns in his usual solid performance, considering the relatively tepid material he has to work with. Lots of cameos from Weird Al Yankovic, Leslie Nielson, etc. and a totally campy role for Lainie Kazan, who's been in the camp camp since "Lust In The Dust". It's predictable stuff, yes, but harmless. And better entertainment that 99% of the garbage found on Nickelodeon.