Free Enterprise

First off, it's too long. The thing goes on for two hours and yet there is no plot. It goes nowhere. These two nerds meet Shatner in a bookstore and...? And nothing. Nothing happens. Shatner practically disappears for the rest of the movie.

And the dialogue is terrible. The characters don't talk to each other. They just spout monologues that aren't connected with anything. It's like they listed a bunch of pop-culture references, then tried to work them into the scene somehow regardless of relevance. But it really doesn't matter. They don't have original voices anyway. Every character is the same.

It's like a self-indulgent student film. The main characters are irritating but portray themselves as "cool" and "misunderstood". They refer to themselves as "talented filmmakers". There are flashbacks to episodes in which they receive fellatio or verbally berate a woman and then callously prompt her for sex (wow - so cool). And the love story? The love interest is a beautiful babe who recites titles of unknown comic books. Very believable. And then the girl breaks up with the main character because he can't pay his bills. What? This movie tries to be SWINGERS so badly (and I mean badly). But SWINGERS had interesting characters and interesting situations. There's nothing remotely interesting going on here at all.

Plus, the acting is over-the-top. But it's hard not to be when you've got horribly written dialogue like this. All in all, one of the worst things I've ever sat through. Avoid this one like steamy dog doo.

Robert Meyer Burnett's `Free Enterprise' is several movies all at once-unfortunately only one of them is interesting.

Film #1: The original and witty masterpiece. Two aspiring yet unsuccessful filmmakers run into William Shatner in a Hollywood bookstore. The two pop culture-obsesses slackers have both been Star Trek fanatics since birth and are appropriately awestruck by the realization of their dreams. They soon find out, however, that the real William Shatner is a pathetic, wacked-out loser who befriends the pair only because he thinks they can help him get backing for his latest film project, a 5-hour musical version of William Shakespeare's `Julius Caesar' in which he will play every role. And, in a very clever plot twist, it is not Captain Kirk who helps the two Trekkie nerds get their lives together, but the other way around. Everyone eventually finds love and fulfillment, and it all ends with William Shatner performing a kickass rap version of Marc Anthony's soliloquy.

Film #2: The painful movie. A tedious rip-off of `Swingers' in which two single guys and their friends experience the joys and anguish of dating, mating, growing up, and trying to hang onto their youth, yadda, yadda. ZZZZZZzzzzz. The twist is that in this version the hip CocktailVegasMoneyBabyHoneyDaddy culture has been replaced with the PopCultureComicBookMovieNerdStarWarsStarTrek fanboy culture. In fact, if not for this trading of Sinatra for Captain Kirk, the film would border on plagiarism.

Film #3: The Fantasy. In which guys who hang out in comic book stores also date myriad gorgeous Hollywood actress-models.

Unfortunately for those sucked in by the copy on the video and DVD packaging, the `Film #1' part of `Free Enterprise' only takes up about 10 or 12 total minutes of screen time.

Apparently, the people who marketed this film on video and dvd were the only ones involved in this project smart enough to know that the Shatner subplot, `film #1,' was the move that `Free Enterprise' really should be.

Obviously the majority of the film's storylines and amusing incidentals should have been relegated to subplots in support of `film #1'-ie, the relationship between the Nrrrds and William Shatner. An hour of Shatner, and maybe twenty minutes with the boys and their love problems, and we would have had a potentially fantastic movie.

And I don't want to sound like everything non-Shatner in the film is bad-it's not. It is amusing in spurts, and much better acted than most ultra-low budget flicks. Some of the dialogue is witty, with lots of funny pop culture references for thirty-sumpthin's. There is much goodness for those with a quick remote control finger. But I also have to say that a lot of the dialogue-and I mean a LOT-is dull, repetitious, and amateurishly unnecessary (I mean, really-after the scene in which the boys meet the real William Shatner only to find out he's a pathetic wacko, do we really need to hear this kind of dialogue in the following scene: `Hey, I get fired from my job, my girlfriend bails on me, I finally meet my childhood hero Captain Kirk, and he turns out to be a pathetic wacko! I can't believe my life!' This kind of sub-sitcom yak should have been left for the trailer.). Then again, the sight and sound of the William Shatner rapping Shakespeare while a crew of homies gits jiggy wit it behind him honestly is the height of brilliance. A lot can be forgiven for the filmmakers who made that happen.

So, someone in the biz needs to make Robert Meyer Burnett rich by purchasing the remake rights to `Free Enterprise' before William Shatner dies of old age. Maybe someone will even give Burnett the money to do it himself. But this time they need to go with `film # 1.'

Yes,its true,fans of the "classic"Star Trek will like this more than others and to those others,I'm sorry for you. William Shatner is no one without the series,and is really the issue of the movie.Yes the story revolves around coming of age and getting on with their life of 2 fanboys,but the Shatner hook is that realization and fluition. The scene that does the most for me was a table discussion that raises to the almost super insperational speech that Kirk gives on why there is an Enterprise and they sail aboard her. A truly great reminder of why we fans got hooked on that series so many light years ago. Yes it was a parady,but not all paradys are jokes and if you are into the movie you'll see the context was every bit as compelling as the episode scene it paradies. I am a fan for sure and so to me it was grand and I'm thankful I found this flick

I think the average viewer would be left cold by this movie, but for

those who have guys like this in their lives and perhaps have been

the 'geek'y female in their circle it's pretty cute. Also, Shatner rules.

As a chick who has spent part of the rent money on an original 12"

Boba Fett and spent adolescence keeping the one and only

Captain as her personal lord and savior, I totally recommend it. Its

place in film lore perhaps best belongs on Comedy Central on a

rainy Sunday afternoon, but sometimes that's enough.

I would have liked to seen more (or anything) done with the female

counterparts of these types of guys - many are not model types like

Claire but are interesting people in their own right. We're out there

searching for these guys while these guys are searching for

models who have our brains and sensitivities. (A wry, ironic, LOL

here.)

I really enjoyed this film. Even though I had never heard of any of the lead actors, except of course for William Shatner, I thought they did an incredible job of portraying their characters. Intellectual, devoted, neurotic, and erotic are just a few of the qualities they were asked to convey. And William Shatner is a revelation revealing that his hopes, dreams, and fears are closer to those of his committed fans than they could ever have imagined. Since I have seen most of the Star Trek episodes and movies and the other films alluded to by the characters, I was able to appreciate all the wonderful in-jokes. I highly recommend this hilarious film even if you are not a Star Trek fan, 9/10.