Die sündigen Nonnen von St. Valentin

Until the annual Quentin Tarantino film fests began in Austin a couple of years back, I must admit to being naive with regards to the Italian Horror genre.

I enjoy, from time to time, a little mindless entertainment shall we say, and The Sinful Nuns of Saint Valentine could hardly be more mindless. Lots of naked nuns and plenty of the mentally disturbed highlight this 93 minute epic. Don't let me give away the big entombment finish.

Not for all tastes, but if you want to try one on (Italian Horror) this benign little foray is a good starting point. Take on Mario Bava at a later date.

At risk of sounding sleazy, I do like 70/80's exploitation flicks. I just can't get enough of the weirdness that they offer.

Coming across a film with a title like this could and should be a reason to rejoice. If only it lived up to it's name.

During Inquisition-era Spain, a man is wrongly accused of a crime. In his attempt to flee he is injured and takes refuge in a convent. This convent also happens to be the same place his beloved has been put by her father, who wants to keep the love birds apart. All looks like it might turn out well, until our female lead's room-mate turns up dead and she is the prime suspect.

Given name and set-up, one would imagine all sorts of sacrilegious sexual goings-on, but instead the film takes itself really seriously and sexual encounters are limited to some (relatively) brief nudity and all of one sex scene, which itself is pretty tame.

It fails miserably at being a 'real' film and isn't all that good at being exploitation either.

3/10

I seem to be in the minority here. I actually enjoyed this film. Or maybe more accurately, I was pleasantly surprised. The reason I stand in the minority camp here clearly seems to be because I have very little knowledge of the genre known as nunsploitation. My lack of experience in this most specific of exploitation genres has perhaps saved me from disappointment. While seasoned fans of this type of flick bemoan the lack of full-on sleaze here, I truthfully never noticed and was instead pleased to see a film with good production values and a surprisingly coherent storyline. The only other title from this sub-genre that I can remember ever seeing was Ken Russell's delirious shock-fest The Devils. Although I haven't seen Russell's excellent film in at least a decade, I certainly remember it well enough. Who, in all honestly, could forget something like that? Now, while The Sinful Nuns of St. Valentine is nowhere near as good, it clearly derived inspiration from Ken's classic, sharing, as it does, the somewhat specific feature of a whole convent of nuns being declared servants of Satan by the religious establishment and then subsequently going temporarily deranged in a sex-crazed fashion.

Set in Spain during the Inquisition, the story is about the trials of a young couple who are in love. The girl's father disapproves of the relationship and sends his daughter to a convent, while denouncing her lover a heretic. After a series of unfortunate events, the Inquisition denounces the whole convent of nuns and seals them inside their monastery alive. This leads the girl's lover on a quest to save her.

The above synopsis is a really abridged account of what happens in this film. Although the story is quite expansive, it is, unusually for Italian cinema, a coherently told affair. Acting is of a good standard too with no one really letting the side down. The cinematography, soundtrack and period detail are all of a very good standard too. So really when you take all of the above into account The Sinful Nuns of St. Valentine is a pretty well put-together affair. I guess it all comes down to expectations; hardened fans (no pun intended) of this sub-genre want more sleaze basically. And although I am certainly not one to argue with that, I enjoyed this as a nicely put together exploitation movie.

Recently a Belgian/Dutch distributor – to whom I'm very grateful – released a series of sleazy Euro-exploitation movies of the early 70's on DVD under the title "So Demented Cinema". Practically all of the films live up to this title, like "Nude for Satan", "The Reincarnation of Isabel" and "The Devil's Nightmare", but Sergio Grieco's "The Sinful Nuns of Saint Valentine" is actually a bit of an outcast in the series. Because of its classification under the trashy & typically 70's "Nunsploitation" sub genre (and admittedly because of its lurid yet misleading title) it superficially LOOKS like a demented gem, but in reality it's a surprisingly smut-free and primarily story-driven drama with just a handful of nunsploitation trademarks thrown in for good measure. Speaking in terms of filming style and atmosphere "The Sinful Nuns…" is much more reminiscent to Ken Russell's "The Devils" (I believe both films are even loosely inspired by the same novel) and "Flavia, The Heretic", though it's nearly not as great as these two classics. Fellow reviewers appropriately described the plot as a variation on the Romeo & Juliet theme, only set during the Spanish Inquisition and with nuns instead of battling families. In order to prevent her from marrying Esteban, a hateful nobleman subjects his lovely daughter Lucita to a strict life in the convent whilst he simultaneously reports Esteban as a betrayer of Spain. Soldiers of the Inquisition nearly kill Estaban, but that doesn't stop him from infiltrating the convent (with a little help from the understanding caretaker) and contacting his girl. The deceptive Abbess discovers this and develops a fiendish plan to have them both killed in the name of Catholicism and patriotism. The script is far more compelling and involving than your average movie about lesbian nuns worshiping the devil for no reason, but it also has to be said that "The Sinful Nuns…" is rather tame, boring and not at all sinful. Apart from a handful of scenes depicting the physical torture and humiliation of the young heroine, there's very little to see here. The 'immured nuns' finale is somewhat original, but it appears to go on forever and it rapidly becomes (unintentionally) funny. All in all, there are far better Euro-exploitation treasures begging for rediscovery, so don't waste too much time searching for this one.

It's another Romeo and Juliet story where two families at loggerheads forbid the lovers to meet, claiming Esteban is a heretic and murderer and an unworthy suitor for beautiful Lucita.

Set upon by soldiers of the Inquisition Esteban scarcely survives as he staggers into a nearby convent where Lucita and the verger dress his wounds and care for him in a secret room.

Esteban and Lucita plan to elope from the convent but their escape is thwarted. Lucita is accused of murdering one of the nuns and her love for Esteban has brought shame and disgrace to the sanctity of the Order. She is to be burned at the stake in the main square of Seville.

One considers that this is drama enough, but the action has scarcely begun.

Because of the terrible sins committed within the old stone walls, the Inquisition demands that all entrances and openings to the convent shall be walled up. When Esteban hears of this he flies into action as any real hero would.

The imprisoned nuns ( I am not sure why) begin to tear off their clothes as they crave for food and water in utter despair. Bare-breasted they roll about on the floor, screaming for water, licking the walls where a few droplets may have appeared. We could be watching Greek drama, but more likely the naked bodies are purposely introduced to add an interesting interlude for male viewers who find watching life as it unfolds in a convent normally rather unexciting.

This is not a great film by any means, but admittedly the setting is different and there is plenty of action..... sword-fights, scaling castle walls, torture chambers, secret passage ways etc. We have the power of the Church versus the innocence of the lovers....an interesting situation which could go either way.

It is worth watching right to the end to find out if this romantic couple suffers the same fate as Romeo and Juliet. We hope not of course, but when the Inquisition interprets the laws of the Church the fate of lovers is never certain.