Die sündigen Nonnen von St. Valentin

At risk of sounding sleazy, I do like 70/80's exploitation flicks. I just can't get enough of the weirdness that they offer.

Coming across a film with a title like this could and should be a reason to rejoice. If only it lived up to it's name.

During Inquisition-era Spain, a man is wrongly accused of a crime. In his attempt to flee he is injured and takes refuge in a convent. This convent also happens to be the same place his beloved has been put by her father, who wants to keep the love birds apart. All looks like it might turn out well, until our female lead's room-mate turns up dead and she is the prime suspect.

Given name and set-up, one would imagine all sorts of sacrilegious sexual goings-on, but instead the film takes itself really seriously and sexual encounters are limited to some (relatively) brief nudity and all of one sex scene, which itself is pretty tame.

It fails miserably at being a 'real' film and isn't all that good at being exploitation either.

3/10

This movie is such a complete waste of time even for people like me who kind of like the much-maligned "nunsploitation" genre that I'm going to focus on the ONLY conceivable reason to endure this swill--lead actress Jenny Tamburi (who died earlier this year by the way, lest I come off sounding like a stalker). Tamburi (aka Lucia Della Robbins) was one of a truly incredible crop of young Italian actresses that got their start in early 1970's Italian/European genre films. Of them, only Ornella Mutti became a big international star, but Gloria Guida made quite an impression in softcore sex films. Daria Nicolodi kind of fell into the shadow of Dario Argento (but DID give birth to Asia Argento)while Agostina Belli was breathtakingly beautiful but not a strong enough actress to really break into the big leagues. There's MANY other actresses of this era I could mention, but the one talent that I really felt was wasted was Jenny Tamburi.

Tamburi was excellent in a pretty decent Italian giallo "Smile Before Death", but unfortunately I might be the only person who's seen it. (I'd try to describe the incredible nude photography scene she has with Rosalba Neri in that movie, but I don't want to drool all over my keyboard). She was in Fulci's "Seven Black Notes" all too briefly but really managed to liven up that rather dull film while she was on-screen. She was also in "Frankenstein All'Italia" which has never been translated into English, Sergio Martino's "Suspicious Death of a Minor" (which is being released on DVD in September 2006), and the lurid mother/daughter sex fantasy film "La Seduzione" (like Ornella Mutti, she got kind of typecast into sexy teen roles well into her twenties, but unlike Mutti she never got beyond it).

Normally I wouldn't recommend a dire movie like this based on one pretty girl (or even one pretty, naked girl), but then again I've seen every Jess Franco movie featuring Soledad Miranda and a shameful number of them with Lina Romay, so why listen to me? Put it this way: if you enjoy seeing beautiful and talented young Italian actresses from the golden age of Italian exploitation films, I'd recommend checking out ANY available movie on Jenny Tamburi/Lucia Della Robbin's CV--even this one.

Lucita is a young girl who's banished to a convent by her over-protecting father, so to stop her from marrying her flame, Esteban. Accused of murder, Esteban is set upon by some soldiers of the Inquisition, but he escapes with some injuries and seeks refuge at the convent where Lucita happens to be. While, wanting to clear his name of this foul play. His lover is mistaken for the killing one of the nuns, but she admits to the murder, where she is to be executed. Although, Esteban finds out that the convent's Abbess has more to do with Lucita's misfortune.

An often-told tale (known as Romero and Juliet of course) features very prominently in this watered down Italian nunsploitation flick. While even though there is constant nudity (mainly topless) and some lesbian scenes amongst the field. The factor is, that it doesn't explore the exploitive angle of its material with any vigour and prowess. It starts off decent enough, but hit's a flat spot midway through before reaching its somewhat flipped-out final instalment involving nuns' slowly losing their marbles. The plain and one-note story was very dreary and at times quite automatic, but it managed to scrummage up some surprising developments to cover up its shortcomings and lack of punishing action. Sergio Grieco's direction is pretty conventional and lacks real style, but he captures the detail of the period perfectly and does his job adequately in keeping this a curious piece. The film did have an intrusive look to it because of the camera-work that gets up and close to the act. Now what caught my ear was the seductively faint music score that whispers along rather beautifully and is one of the film's strong points. Acting by the cast is particularly sound, even if there are one or two stilted performances. Jenny Tamburi is very glowing and quite strong as Lucita and Paolo Malco brings a determinedly, courageous edge to Esteban. Also Françoise Prévost is excellent as the sternly, tainted Abbess.

"The Sinful Nuns of Saint Valentine" is a modest effort that's not terribly satisfying, but still I found it to be persistently watchable despite being considerably subdued.

Writer/Director Sergio Grieco is better known for the last film he directed, Mad Dog Killer, a fave of Quentin Tarantino. This entry into the nunsploitation genre is pretty tame by the standards set by such films as Cloistered Nun: Runa's Confession and Sacred Flesh.

It is basically a Romeo and Juliet story in Spain with the Inquisition used to separate two lovers. The film spends the bulk of it's time focusing on the abuses of the Catholic Church in that regard, where anonymous lies were used to condemn and murder in the name of god.

The actual nunsploitation aspects are confined to exposed breasts. All of the action takes place under sheets or off camera. Those looking for titillation will not find it in this film. It contains only extremely obese clerics and their obsession with power. Look elsewhere for your fun.

It's another Romeo and Juliet story where two families at loggerheads forbid the lovers to meet, claiming Esteban is a heretic and murderer and an unworthy suitor for beautiful Lucita.

Set upon by soldiers of the Inquisition Esteban scarcely survives as he staggers into a nearby convent where Lucita and the verger dress his wounds and care for him in a secret room.

Esteban and Lucita plan to elope from the convent but their escape is thwarted. Lucita is accused of murdering one of the nuns and her love for Esteban has brought shame and disgrace to the sanctity of the Order. She is to be burned at the stake in the main square of Seville.

One considers that this is drama enough, but the action has scarcely begun.

Because of the terrible sins committed within the old stone walls, the Inquisition demands that all entrances and openings to the convent shall be walled up. When Esteban hears of this he flies into action as any real hero would.

The imprisoned nuns ( I am not sure why) begin to tear off their clothes as they crave for food and water in utter despair. Bare-breasted they roll about on the floor, screaming for water, licking the walls where a few droplets may have appeared. We could be watching Greek drama, but more likely the naked bodies are purposely introduced to add an interesting interlude for male viewers who find watching life as it unfolds in a convent normally rather unexciting.

This is not a great film by any means, but admittedly the setting is different and there is plenty of action..... sword-fights, scaling castle walls, torture chambers, secret passage ways etc. We have the power of the Church versus the innocence of the lovers....an interesting situation which could go either way.

It is worth watching right to the end to find out if this romantic couple suffers the same fate as Romeo and Juliet. We hope not of course, but when the Inquisition interprets the laws of the Church the fate of lovers is never certain.