Repligator

The Detailed Plot:

Army experimentation with transporter devices accidentally turns people into alligators.

Some of the ugliest floppy you know what est girls are nude in this movie.

Shots of government buildings are painted.

The special effects don't exist and nary an alligator shows up for two thirds of the movie.

Yes, it's as bad as all that.

Leatherface does a cameo to make some dough.

The acting is horrible and there really is no plot.

This film is an inspiration to young movie makers.

This film is a terrible waste of tape but not a waste of time.

If you are a young filmmaker and you're feeling down on your luck when it comes to getting something put together... then see if you can get your hands on this movie.

It's obvious that these movie makers somehow found enough money to make alligator costumes and various special effects (although very cheesy). It was shot on film & transferred to an AVID NLE system (composer). They had money. Not Hollywood money, but the equipment they used does not come cheap… I'd guess about 10-20 thousand dollars… beginning to end.

It's a simple story, with terrible acting! I get a sense that this story was written overnight by somebody with ADD and an overactive imagination… on a post-it note. Who gave these people money to make this wretched thing? I don't want to be too critical of it. Every now and then, I like to see a film like this to remind myself that there are worse things out there being made all the time! :-) My GOD... listen to the music!! It sounds like it was written and recorded by my grandmother! Oh my gosh... people actually put their names on this production?! What an embarrassment... this is not portfolio material.

I tried to find the production company responsible for this, but it appears that they may no longer be around… gee, I wonder why.

I say, if you can find it at your local rental store for less than 99c CAN, then check it out. Be warned, it is a bad movie.

I mean, look at the cover. You know what you're getting into. It's trash and it's aware of being trash. The acting is horrible, the script is basically non-existent and almost the entire movie was shot in a few days in a dingy studio. But it's still worth watching if you're into really bad movies.

There's one hilariously out of place establishing shot in the first third of the movie. It's CGI, to be precise: It's mid 90s CGI on a very tight budget. It's utterly mind bending, especially when a pixelated car which consists of at least 20 polygons drives through the shot.

I almost died laughing watching this scene for the first time, because it feels both alien and stupid. Then the "plot" continues and the rest of the movie alternates between bad dialogue, terrible action sequences and excessive nudity. Just what you'd expect from a movie with a cover like this.

Still, there's something admirable about this film. I enjoyed it, but also felt violated by the sheer stupidity of this project. I mean, it's about repligators.

I have challenged my masochistic urge to sit through the worst of moviedom's offerings. What does not kill you makes you stronger, right? Wrong. I'm now convinced it makes you stupider for having gone through it in the first place. I love movies. I love b-movies. I even love bad movies and making my friends sit very uncomfortably through them. But after watching 'Repligator' I've come to the unpleasant conclusion that apparently I don't love myself at all. 'Repligator' is beyond terrible and there is no thesaurus big enough to list the many ways in which 'Repligator' is awful, terrible, bad ...

Filmed with extreme cheapness (was this project a tax write-off? was it some kind of scam to con government film-funding and other private investors?) and a level of professionalism well-suited to semi-evolved chimpanzees, 'Repligator' fails in every possible category of film. Name one and it fails. The music is distractingly awful and completely out of place. The writing is awful. The acting is beyond cheesy. Or maybe it is just so ... minimalist in its approach that IT DOESN'T EXIST. Direction, editing, camera work, special effects -- nothing works in this film and the whole thing seems like an exercise in how to make stupid people (me for watching) pay for their stupidity (me for watching) with the most pain (me by watching). Even if you're a fan of gratuitous nudity (and there is plenty) it isn't worth it.

There are no redeeming qualities, save for one: 'Repligator' is clear proof that no matter how low-budget, no matter how bad your film can be, there IS a sucker born every minute. Many of those suckers have money. Find them, milk them for everything you can, and you too can make a movie.

Though it's always nice to see the likes of Gunnar Hansen and Brinke Stevens in movies, this godawfully unfunny sci-fi / sex "comedy" is nowhere near being endurable!

Granted, the idea of male-to-female-to-reptile transformation is intriguing. Alas, this movie makes it into a misery!

No, it's not the dollar store "special" effects, robotic "acting", or disastrous attempts at "humor" that make REPLIGATOR so reprehensible. All of these elements, handled correctly, could have resulted in a schlock masterwork.

Nope, it's the pluck-my-brain-out-with-ice tongs boredom factor that sinks this project! Not even the abundant nudity will keep the viewer's drooping eyelids from slamming shut!

Back away slowly...