Backwoods

It's a shame that this lovely site doesn't feature a poster image of this 'Geek', a.k.a Backwoods. The VHS copy I rented showed a mad-raving freak, waving around a butcher's hatchet. It attracts horror lovers and, in all honesty, I have to admit that the cover motivated me to rent it without knowing anything about it. Big mistake, of course! Backwoods stands as one of the lousiest pieces of trash I ever beheld…and that does mean something! This film is a bloodless 80's slasher and that's about the worst idea possible. The makers clearly intended to bring tension and dept instead of blood and gore but they failed miserably. After an hour of viewing, you still haven't seen any of the cast-members dying (unless you think decapitated chickens are gruesome). What other reasons do you have for seeing a slasher besides teen-butchering??? The heart-breaking story about a lone Kentucky farmer and his deranged son? The thrilling adventures of a young couple camping? The only aspect worth mentioning is the eerie opening/end credits song. The slowly sung and chilling lyrics give you the wrong impression that you're about to watch a good film. Check out 'Deliverance', 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre', 'Just before Dawn', 'The Hills have Eyes' or even Rick Roessler's 'Slaughterhouse' instead! Anything but this turkey!

Karen (Christine Noonan), the female protagonist from backwoods slasher Geek, has got to be one of the most irritating horror movie heroines I've ever seen, totally deserving of the suffering she endures: she completely ignores a helpful park ranger's advice by choosing to camp in an area shunned by locals (they're not going there for a reason, you silly bint!); she refuses to listen to reason from her boyfriend Jamie (Brad Armacost), forcing him to accept an invitation to dinner from redneck Eben (Dick Kreusser), despite the fact that, moments earlier, he had held a loaded shotgun to Jamie's head; she skinny dips alone at a remote lake, without questioning the wisdom of such an act; and she not only insists that Jamie goes 'coon hunting with Eben, leaving herself at the mercy of Eben's drooling retard of a son William, but she decides that then would be a good time to strip off, giving William an eyeful of her nekkid bod.

William, whose hobby is biting the heads off small critters (especially chickens), rather unsurprisingly wigs out at the sight of Karen's tatas, and tries to attack her, at which point the film offers up some reasonable thrills followed by a neat finale in which Karen sets up a nasty trap involving fish-hooks and a bag full of rocks. Unfortunately, this comes very late in the day, after lots of dull wandering around the woods, and a drawn out scene in Eben's cabin in which Jamie and his hillbilly host get drunk on moonshine. If it wasn't for Karen's occasional nudity to alleviate the boredom, getting to the (unbelievably silly) end of Geek would be tougher than a three day hike through the backwoods of Kentucky.

3.5 out of 10, rounded up to 4 for IMDb.

If you like b-movies from the 80s then you might enjoy this. Two campers are terrorized by a geek, an insane man that bites the heads off chickens. This movie (Backwoods) is also known as 'Geek' in the U.K. Its a straight to video film with a cast of unknowns, but they play their roles well. I liked the overall creepy atmosphere of the film and the last 30 minutes were very entertaining. One thing that bugged me about this movie was not knowing what really happened to Beth,the little girl. Karen is shown sporting a shotgun and shoots toward William when he is dragging her beaten boyfriend away with Beth in toe and Karen blindly fires at the trio but we never see beth again but i assume Karen shot her by mistake. Other then this tiny plot hole i liked this movie. 6/10

A low budget gem with surprisingly good actors and a plot that leaves you wondering who the real bad guy is. It's a shame that Dick Kreusser hasn't had many roles because his acting was the star of the show.

Scares 3/10 Tension 7/10 Gore 4/10 Nudity 10/10 Entertainment 10/10

Plot 5/10 Characters 5/10 Pacing 4/10 Music 3/10 Cinematography 5/10

Final score 5.8/10

Obscure horror made just after the slasher era but has the looks like an early eighties slasher even as it isn't really a slasher. It's a typical hillbilly flick. It's rather hard to find this flick only available on VHS. And still people do search it even as it isn't all that good, face it, being obsessed by long black hair.

The reason therefor lays in the fact that the first hour it's all about talking and characterisation. But I guess the director Dean Crow did knew about that fact and did put in some gratuitous full frontal nudity by one time actress Christine Noonan. It's only towards the end that this flick delivers the horror and even that doesn't look creepy at all. But the score used and the hissing of the geek (Jack O'Hara) gives it a special atmosphere. There aren't almost no effects used but when it does it is above mediocre for such kind of low budget flicks.

Made by an unknown director in an era where horror was not done is the reason why this is so extremely hard to find. Still, if you do like hillbilly horror then this is a must see. For the other 'geeks' if you can grab it watch it, you certainly will enjoy the ending but overall a bit lame.

Gore 0/5 Nudity 1/5 Effects 1/5 Story 2/5 Comedy 0/5