Kommando-Unternehmen 'Rote Laterne'

Unbearable....its without a doubt the worst film I've ever seen....i couldn't stomach it all as i felt that to watch more would be to waste another hour of my life after the film i felt sick it was that bad...as my friend pointed out poorly lit rubbish. On top of that the gun fights were just terrible....every copy of this film should be seized rollered, burned, urinated on, then sent into space to go infect any attacking creatures with the worst horse kak that man kind can muster...then we should have all religions pray for redemption for us all for creating this rubbish......then knowone should be allowed to speak of this film again....ever........not like many people were in the first place to be fair. Maybe a slight over reaction but you can never be too careful....can you.

A dirtier-minded dozen, this uproariously fun Filipino actioner clearly doesn't take itself all too seriously, but it has a higher calibre of acting that makes suspension of disbelief much less of a chore! An amicable group of hard luck women are stridently put through their militaristic paces, excitingly montaged into a sultry squad of sinewy, savage hearted scarlet women! The risque plan is to place them within a late-night soiree, swollen with Army big knobs, luridly liquidating the libidinous Japanese high command with their finely honed feminine harms! Deliciously schlocky stuff that, happily, remains consistently entertaining until the blazingly bellicose climax!

The likeable performances are uniformly excellent, making it easy to root for our scintillatingly saucy assassins sordidly essayed subterfuge! Surprisingly, for a ribald, low budget exploitation flick, the zesty dialogue and robust characterisation is distinctly above average, and any shoot 'em up starring charismatic cult hero, Vic Diaz is always time well spent! A sparky, easy on the eye cast, rousing Gung-Hoe action, and quality repartee raises Gallardo's boisterous WW2 bullet-fest above the mire of B-Movie mediocrity. 'Hustler Squad' is a righteous discovery, a bona fide Grindhouse gem that is both intentionally, and unintentionally funny!

During WWII, Filipino commandos attack a small Japanese-held island. The attack fails and US commanders have no choice but to get the help of unconventional Major Stony Stonewall. It's 60 days before some of the leading Japanese generals gather at the resort. With the help of local fighter Paco, Stonewall recruits four women to take out the Japanese commanders. They are murderer Rose Carson from prison, selfless nurse Anna Oleson with terminal illness, Filipina Sonya with a grudge to settle and prostitute Cindy Lee Dawson on the run from the mob.

By itself, the story is solid B-movie material. I can see Chuck Norris doing this back in the day. However the movie is filled with bad writing, bad acting and bad filmmaking in general. It is bad. Its only salvation is that it has no pretension of being anything remotely good. Its greatest failing is that it's boring.

Well now. I guess I am in the minority on this one. By now everyone must be familiar with the concept of "so bad it's good," and for me, that's where this shlockfest came down. Entertainingly horrible.

Another low budget period piece that takes place in the 1940's, but they didn't quite pull it off. Everything still looks like it was shot in the Philippines in 1976 for a budget of two dollars, which it was (too bad they don't even mention on the package that it's supposed to be a World War II movie).

But this thing is so clichéd it's hilarious! Anyone who would dare to call his lead character "Major Stony Stonewall" with a semi-straight face is my kind of idiot. Ah yes, the blustery, cigar-chomping chauvinist pig commander who "doesn't play by the rules." Haven't we seen this a FEW times before? I was rolling my eyes and chuckling at the same time. Women with nothing to lose are recruited in Australia by the U.S. Major during World War II to infiltrate a "resort island" where top Japanese generals are going to be gathering soon for a secret meeting and a little pre-paid cookie. Their secret mission: get 'em in bed, and get 'em dead.

Yes, most of the action is fist fighting, but there's two military battles, one at the beginning and one at the climax of the film, plenty of machine guns firing blanks and Filipino extras sliding down hills to a fake death, a little bit of fake movie blood, and hell, even a guard tower that gets blown up real good. What do you people want from a low budget Filipino production from 1976, CGI effects? They worked with what they had.

It might be a quirk of copyright, but I don't think this is public domain in the United States. Seems like everyone who commented bought it at a pound shop in England, which means that maybe nobody got any royalties.

Unfortunately for my wallet, I had to pay $11 for a double feature of this film along with "Wild Riders" in the new BCI "Starlite Drive-In Theatre" series of B-movie schlock, much of it from the bargain basement archives of Crown International Pictures.

Okay, so I paid $5.50 instead of $1.00 for it. Am I disappointed? NO! No I tell you! There is plenty of entertainment to be had here.

This is a great DVD to practice your Mystery Science Theater auditions with. A lovable piece of dung. Recommended for Drive-In Movie heads.

Certainly the best World War II hooker assassin movie I've seen this week.

But I've got a better title. How about...THE FLIRTY DOZEN??? (groan....) Yeah, that wouldn't even work. There were only four of them.

Even in the grindhouse flicks you have some bad flicks. For some grindhouse already stands for low quality flicks. This here isn't a kind of grindhouse I really like. It's a rip-off of a few flicks made with almost no budget.

Although it survived the days of drive-ins and is now available on DVD for the first time. The reason is simple because even as this isn't a good flick, still some names attached to it became more known afterwards. Karen Ericson, here as Lt. Jennifer West moved further in Night Of The Demons (1988) as Judy's Mother. It was also her last flick she made. Crystin Sinclaire, here as Cindy Lee Dawson moved further to horrors like Eaten Alive (1977) and Ruby (1977) before quitting in 1979. But Liza Lorena as Sonya might be the biggest name still performing in TV series.

The story is a bit sleazy. Hustlers are recruited to the army to seduce Japanese officers and kill them in action. By doing so the enemy could invade the island and conquer the Japanese. And that's were the rip-off comes from, all those movies about outlaws coming together to rescue someone or are out to do a dirty job, remember The Dirty Dozen (1967).

There's a lot of talking going on and naturally you have the bastard, here it's John Ericson as Maj. Stony Stonewall, you know the guy, big mouth, always ready for a fight or a card game with the usual cigar. It's only towards the end of this flick that it becomes worth watching. The hustlers do kill the officers and some do show their juggs to do so. There is even, for the quick viewer, a decapitation and a few stabbings by a samurai sword.

Blood do flows here and there but on a low base. Still, for the lovers of bad grindhouses it's out there to pick it up.

Gore 0/5 Nudity 0,5/5 Effects 0/5 Story 2/5 Comedy 0/5