Ice Cream Man

Ice Cream Man is ultimately cheesy but so funny! Is this movie actually supposed to be scarey? Clint Howard is the godfather of B- movies and he is so funny in this movie. What makes him so funny is that he's trying to be a scarey guy and he totally isn't. There is nothing scarey about Clint Howard, only humorous. So, for all of you fellow B-movie lovers, go check out Ice Cream Man. You will not be disappointed!

You can see that if the flick ain't directed by his brother, this is the best he can do. And sad to say, his best just doesn't cut it. "Ice Cream Man" is a very bizarre horror film, that's a real blast to watch if you're in the right mood. In the wrong mood, it has been known to cause people to lash out violently at loved ones, so please, watch with caution.

Clint Howard stars (Does anything really star Clint Howard though?) as the "evil" "psychotic" "bizarre" (Yes all in quotes, he's not quite any of these, but he's getting close) ice cream man, who tortures the local children with bomb pops that are really melty and ice cream that has chopped up humans and dogs in them. Ick.

Anyway, the plot's really just an excuse to show of the...well, the...um, well it's a plot. Oh wait, I know! It's an excuse to show off all the loser actor cameos! There's Jan Michael Vincent and Lee Majors II (The sequel?) as cops tracking the elusive man o' ice cream. And even Doug Lleyweln appears as a supermarket clerk.

Even better than that, are some of the bizarre goofs in the film. I really like the fact that for some reason, instead of hiring a fat actor to play the unhappy "fat" kid of the group, they just make this one kid wearing padding under his clothes. And the entire premise that anyone would by scoops of ice cream from a ice cream man. Who buys ice cream scoops from the ice cream man? Then there's the entire psychiatric ward scene, in which Jan Michael Vincent's acting ranges from mildly interested, to bored beyond the state of consciousness. These are the cops who also scour the Ice Cream Man's place for clues but manage to complete gloss over the ice cream truck (where, of course, the various bodies and such are kept). Oh well, better luck next time troops.

Howard himself overacts like he's making sure people two towns over can see and hear him. It's all just plain dumb. And fairly fun to laugh at in the fine tradition of The Pumaman or Gymkata. You'll have a GOOD laugh with the right sense of HUMOR. I love that one.

Yes, this movie was complete crap. But I'm not sure if it was meant to be crap or not. But I sho did love it. Probably the funniest movie of all time, for these reasons:

1. It has a fat kid named Tuna in it...and he's actually not fat in real life, but they made him wear some sort of fat suit. As if they couldn't find some kid who was actually fat! Brilliant.

2. The Miami Vice police duo. One has the stoic presence you could only see in Don Johnson while the other is always confused. A great rag-tag team, lemme tell ya!

3. The scene where the police team (not Don Johnson and confused guy) go through the ice cream man's ice cream "factory" and break all of the stuff and then leave, not finding any evidence though it would be easy to find at least one eyeball somewhere.

4. Fake sunflowers.

5. The mental institution scene. The police must investigate. So they go to the mental institution where everyone is insanely happy. Of course, the head guy there starts dancing while the police are being attacked by all of the loonies. The best part comes when they're both leaving the place and Don Johnson seems not at all scared or worried but casually pushes or slugs the crazies that are bugging him. The other guy, on the other hand, at least tries to look scared. They sure could have used more extras, by the way. The massive uprising looked pretty weak. But oh, was it funny!

6. The head in the ice cream cone. Talk about genius.

As a child, Gregory Tudor (Clint Howard) had witnessed his beloved ice cream truck driver getting gunned down. He grows up to be a very warped individual, not helped by his stay in one of the wackiest ever mental institutions in a movie. Now he himself is an ice cream man. He's determined to spread cheer to children, but there's no shortage of unappreciative tots and sleazy adults to be punished and potentially turned into ingredients for his frozen treats.

Most anybody would agree that this is a crap movie, but the filmmakers know it and just have fun with their premise. The result is a goofy 84 minute diversion, more a dark comedy than a true out-and-out horror film. It successfully goes for the gross out on a few occasions, especially when the camera prowls around the interior of the ice cream truck and shows roaches and rats crawling around in the ice cream. There's some gore, but not a large amount (director Paul Norman and company were originally going for a PG-13 rating), and sex appeal in the form of Wanda (Andrea Evans), though no nudity or sex.

Clearly, some fun was had with the casting decisions. Howard has one of the nuttiest lead roles of his acting career, and he makes the most of it, speaking in an affected growl that's a real hoot. Other familiar faces include Sandahl Bergman ("Conan the Barbarian" '82) and David Naughton ("An American Werewolf in London") as a married couple, Jan-Michael Vincent ('Airwolf') as an investigating detective, Olivia Hussey ("Black Christmas" '74) as a kooky nurse turned landlady, David Warner ("The Omen" '76) as the local reverend, and Doug Llewelyn ('The People's Court') as a store manager. The kids (Justin Isfeld as Johnny, Anndi McAfee as Heather, JoJo Adams as "Tuna", Mikey LeBeau as "Small Paul", Zachary Benjamin as Roger) are all quite appealing.

The highlight (or low point, depending on ones' tastes and sensibilities) is seeing a bored and very unconcerned Vincent unhurriedly walk away from a gaggle of encroaching but not very threatening mental inmates.

Five out of 10.

The Ice Cream Man is the most hilarious movie I've ever seen. It's even more hilarious than Evil Dead 2. I especially like the pillow under Tuna's shirt that's supposed to make him appear to be fat. There's some real talent behind those actors and actresses, they're the best.