Future War

this movie deserves to be higher than #5 on the 100 worst movies ever. although words are inadequate to describe how bad this movie is, "wretched," "pitiful," "embarassingly horrible," and "p*** poor" all come to mind.

i can't imagine that the writer and director were serious when they made this. either they must have been joking, or they made this from inside their room in the asylum. actually, that would explain the lack of decent acting and props, too....

anyway, i watched this on MST3K, and even that couldn't get me to finish watching this movie. i got almost to the end, but i feared that if i watched the whole thing, my brain would explode, i would have to gouge out my eyes, or the universe would end... maybe all three.

if you are thinking about watching this movie without the MST3K guys, you should go see a doctor. the kind who sits you on a couch. if you really want to subject yourself to this with the MST3K guys, i'd suggest purchasing some beverages to go along with it. it's the only way you'll get through it.

This was made in 1995 and it looks more like 1965. Very low budget, boring plot, horrible acting, really bad special effects, etc...

I rarely ever see a Sci-Fi film i absolutely think is this bad. I mean this is pure garbage. It has nothing going for it either, as far as a "Cyber" movie this is the very bottom of the lot. There is nothing really futuristic in this, it's quite misleading. If you were expecting a low-budget "Terminator" think again.

Cyborgs and Dinosaurs? Well, the Cyborgs look more like they're wearing tin-foil suits painted black. The Dinosaurs are literally puppets, a blind person wouldn't even be fooled into suspending his disbelief that these are real Dinosaurs.

Does it have anything else going for it? I'm trying really hard to think of something...but there is nothing. No nudity, No gore, No comedy, no "War" (just a few meaningless fights).

I think i would be more entertained by staring at a blank piece of paper for 90 minutes. Junk like this gives good low-budget "B" movies a bad name. This makes Ed Wood movies look good.

Avoid this waste at all costs! Oh the humanity!

A race of evil cyborgs kidnap humans from Earth's future to use as slaves, and take dinosaurs from the past to use as trackers. One of their slaves, the Runaway, escapes and makes his way to present-day Los Angeles. There he must fend off the cyborgs and their trackers, the police, and the government, befriended by a prostitute-turned-nun who runs a halfway house. Why would ANYONE in a modern time like 1997 make a stinker like THIS!?!?!?!?!? With actors that are as wooden as a cigar store indian, a script that was written by the director's 4-year-old son, a camera that was stolen from a burning pawn shop, poverty-row monster effects that were achieved by holding plush dino toys in front of the screen, and to top it off, a (once successful effects-man) director that thought making this crap would make them famous. ONLY watch the MST3K version!

Yep, this movie really sucked. In fact it sucked so bad! The acting was horrible, the plot sucked, and the dinosaurs are hand puppets (as some have said). And the Jean Claude Van-Damme wannabe is lame as hell. Of course, I could be wrong on the dinosaurs, but the rest is true oh yes the rest of what I said about this horrible movie is true to the last drop.

Stay away from this crap unless you see Mike Nelson, Tom Servo, and Crow T. Robot sitting in a theatre, and riffing it.

This film was featured on the cult television show, Mystery Science Theater 3000. It is also very bad and I have to say that it is almost too bad. A film that seems to try and combine the Terminator series with Jurassic Park it fails doing either in any good way. Once again, it just seems too bad. More like one of those awful Terminator ripoffs combined with the Carnosaur dinosaur puppets...yes, they are the same dinosaurs used in that cheesy film, but that film was still better than this one! There is just too much bad going on in this one! Wounds that appear, disappear and reappear! Cyborgs that start out having white faces, but that is seemingly ditched mid-scene! A credit in the opening sequence that notes a special appearance by someone most people who have watched thousands of films most likely never heard of! It just screams suck at every turn! I would normally try to find some merits, but I cannot as this film seems to have been made purposely bad! The film Werewolf was bad, but it seemed like they were at least trying in that one and even had a recognizable star or two. Here we have Robert Z'Dar who has his moments, but here you barely recognize him except for his large face!

The story has a spaceship flying through space and a smaller ship flies to earth. On it is a man who must flee a dinosaur and then fights a cyborg and then gets hit by a cussing nun! Soon she becomes entangled in his problems as dinosaurs start eating the local citizens and cyborgs are chasing after the guy she hit! She turns to her gang of plaid wearing gang members and they take one final stand against the dinosaurs in the driest sewers ever, complete with wooded ceilings and ladders! Will she become a nun? Will our hero become a counselor? And will the film ever explain why it is easier to kill dinosaurs and cyborgs with knives, poles and nets than it is guns?

This movie made for a really good episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Too good. I almost think after watching it multiple times that it was purposely made bad in the hopes of being riffed by the show. There is just too much to joke about going on, even Manos did not have as many slow pitched softballs as this film for the gang on the satellite of love to hit out of the park. There are so many they could not even make fun of it all! The film was made in 1994 so MST3K was well known then and probably at its height. So I just can see makers purposely making a horrid film in the hopes it would be riffed because my guess is that the movies that are riffed get an up tick in sales. I don't know if I am correct, but the movie just seems to horrible and to easy to riff.

So there you go, I just think at no point did anyone think they were making anything but a very bad movie. Which is why I could not give this thing more than a one. The nun sub story was abysmal and she was not attractive, the gore was limited and what could be Jean Claude Van Damme's stunt double is annoying. The fight at the end was idiotic and there is just not a whole lot of good one could find here. I guess it was nice they found some more uses for those Carnosaur dinosaurs.