Dead Weekend

It's Friday evening. You decide that you'd like to rent a good Stephen Baldwin movie. Unfortunately, when you get to the video store you find that "Usual Suspects" is checked out. "Oh well," you think to yourself, "guess I'll have to settle for a *bad* Stephen Baldwin movie instead." The video store is your oyster, my friend, and who knows, you may find another pearl amongst Stephen's work. It's worth a shot.

As you're roaming the aisles, life's cruel hand of fate guides you to "Dead Weekend." Sadly, you decide that you'll give it a chance, and you don't find out until it's too late that the title of the movie is a fitting description for any weekend spent watching this tripe.

The only thing going on in this movie is Stephen gettin' it on with five different female forms of an alien. The alien changes forms randomly, and sometimes she doesn't even know she has changed. Luckily for Stephen, she always shape shifts into a hot babe.

In the end, Stephen decides to leave the planet with his alien lover, but his former soldier colleagues feel he's a traitor and try to hunt him down. Oh the tension. Do you think Stephen would've still wanted to flee the planet with this alien if she started morphing into a Roseanne look-alike with a severe back-hair problem? I doubt it.

It's no bold prediction to say that I'll never watch this movie again. I have no problem watching movies that are so bad they're entertaining (Troll 2, a good number of Michael Paré movies), but this movie is so bad it's just BAD. The only way it could've been worse is if the alien shape shifted into Rosie O'Donnell every time. The acting was wooden and just horrible, there was no real story or action, and the music sounded worse than the midnight jam sessions I used to have on my $20 Casio when I was thirteen years old.

I was bored the entire movie, and I had to fight the temptation to hit "fast forward" harder than Mike D fighting for his right to party. But I can be a stubborn guy at times. I taped this movie, so I was bound and determined to watch the whole thing.

Watching the movie wasn't a total loss though. Yes folks, I actually learned a valuable lesson from this experience - I have really got to learn to be less stubborn.

THE GIST:

I suppose if you enjoy the cinematic equivalent of a hammer repeatedly bashing you upside the brain for 82 minutes, then you might want to check out "Dead Weekend." Otherwise, avoid it at all costs. Literally. Spend money to AVOID seeing this movie if you have to.

Poor story, poor acting, terrible image quality on Amazon Prime. I would have given this movie a zero, but the minimum score is 1.

The text on the video jacket lured me with false claims of a story of an alien who shapeshifts her female form at will. The film was a complete waste of its potential. The story: a crash-landed alien spends a weekend on earth while waiting to be rescued by her own species. She switches form several times, never at will, and once she doesn't even realize that she's changed. She never repeats her form (except once, briefly). She never impersonates anyone. Her shapeshifting isn't used to conceal her identity, and plays almost no role in the plot. Basically, several times in the movie the role of the alien switches to a different actress, who says, "Hi, I look different now but it's still me." You wonder if maybe the actresses couldn't make it for the entire filming so they had to time-share. Despite the low budget, there could have been a lot of promise with the film, such as having the alien use her shapeshifting as a disguise. Instead, we have a tag-team of women who come and go, confusing the viewer and leaving him wondering as the credits scroll up, "Has this movie started yet?"

Stephen Baldwin stars as Agent Weed in this Skinamax lite sci-fi erotic thriller about an alien who shapeshifts every time she has sex.

The 4k remastering actually looks good but the movie itself is terrible. Baldwin sucks as the lead and Tom Kenny is extremely annoying. Rasche at least tries.

A made-for-cable supposedly science fiction bit of dreck starring the least talented of the Baldwin brothers. (Only one of which has any talent in the first place) We have bad acting, a terrible plot, cheap sets, hokey dialog, bad direction, bad photography, bad editing, well, everything was bad. Even the occasional topless scene could not rescue this clunker. Although some of the women were attractive, the scenes were poorly lit, poorly set up, poorly, well, you get the idea.

The best of the bad lot was Barbara Alyn Woods, and I feel bad for her that this is the only thing I've seen her in. She has undoubtedly done better. Avoid this movie like the plague.