Deadworks - Heiß und tödlich

There is one name today in the realm of B style soft core skin flicks and that is Sidaris. This is the kind of movie that if you saw it when you were 13, you wouldn't leave your room for a week. This movie knows it is an exploitation flick and doesn't take itself too seriously. It is actually fun to watch as more than just a parade of large breasts. Of course, there is a strip club sequence that is tough to forget. I wouldn't rent this one, but it kept me awake on cable.

The Dallas Connection is one of the later films from Andy Sidaris. Well, strictly speaking, this one was actually directed by his son Drew and produced by Andy. But you would be doing better than me if you noticed any difference because no matter who directed this one, it's exactly the same as all the others that go under the Sidaris name. Like the rest, this one is an action flick that relies very heavily on beautiful large breasted women who lose their clothes on a regular basis. Without the ladies, most of Sidaris films would be hopeless and this one is no exception.

Its story really isn't worth describing, except to say that it revolves around a trio of professional female killers called Black Widow, Cobra and Scorpion. These femme fatales are played by Julie Strain, Julie K. Smith and Wendy Hamilton. Fortunately, all of them disrobe frequently to frolic about in, amongst other places the shower and a strip club. Julie Strain seduces a restrained man in dominatrix PVC gear in a standout moment but best of all is the truly mesmerizingly sexy Julie K. Smith frolicking around in a hot tub with some lucky 'victim'. Its soft-core erotica basically but with a very high calibre of eye candy. Aside from this the plot-line plods along in an uninspired way, although there are some agreeably stupid moments like death by exploding golf ball and the ludicrous blow-up doll scene. My advice would be to watch it for the ladies and tolerate the rest.

I watched this movie last night - largely because of all the little people in the cast. Their guns were bigger than they were. Those secret radios that the good guys were given - what were they, Sony Walk abouts? Do the actors get paid when they make something like this? My favorite little guy was Bruce Penhall (from Chips), if he's 4'9" tall I'll eat my boots. Best scene was when of the little guys was at the beach with his jet ski and a babe shows up wearing a thong bathing suit and leather high heeled boots that went up to her crotch. I can't count the number of times I've seen that same outfit at the beach - it's so practical. I kept waiting for Erik Estrada to make a cameo, everything else I've seen his personal butt boy (Bruce Penhall) in has also had Erik making a grease show of it. Erik was probably booked making his land commercials for that hillbilly resort in Arkansas. All this film lacked was a mud wrestling scene.

This flic will be remembered as a classic for the some of the funniest dead-pan dialogue and gratuitous shots of T&A to fill one of the most absurd plots since "Gymkata". From the asteroid showers, to the extended shower scenes, to the blow-up doll decoy, to the awkward reactions to the horse race which obviously isn't taking place, this movie never stops entertaining.

It stays perfectly on the line between over-the-top farce while appearing to try to be a "real" film, in true Ed Wood fashion. It's amusing to read the comments of disappointed viewers who attempted to derive substance from this B-movie. This is one to watch late night on cable, preferably with some good friends and a keg.

The usual action flesh fantasy for male viewers, this Sidaris flick is not as good as a few others, but the girls looks great (there is my favorite Playmate, Wendy Hamilton, that doesn't show as much as I hope, but it's still a threat; there is also Julie Strain's Black Widow, with an opening scene Basic Instinct style that it's really good) and the action is good enough to let the 90 minutes of the movie pass without any boring moment. The plot is contrived, but it's part of the show: for a Sidaris movie it's a good enough one