Beware: Children at Play

The movie starts out with a boy and his father camping in the woods. The father gets caught in a trap, they cannot get help, and the boy ends up showing his cannibalistic tastes by attacking his father. As the boy grows he kidnaps children and they form a type-of cannibal cult. And then... well just watch. The film has some great (cheesy) special effects. And the end will definitely make you love this movie. Trust me, if you think the beginning is boring, just sit in till the end.

I had never seen a Troma film before this. I had no idea what to expect. My best friend recommended it, so the two of us and another friend rented it one night and watched it. The results were as follows: My best friend and I laughed the entire time. My other friend became violent. Don't worry, he didn't hurt anyone. The bottom line is, this is NOT a horror movie! The creators may have attempted to make a horror movie, but what they made was a hilarious comedy! The actors in this movie are absolutely horrible! Click on any of their bios, very few of them have been in over three or four movies! THERE'S A REASON FOR THIS!!!!!!! But you know what? They're all trying really hard to do a good job, and I'm certain that they thought that they were making Hollywood gold. Now let's look at other aspects of production. I have a feeling that this is what Max Bialystock and Leo Bloom were looking for when they found "Springtime for Hitler" in "The Producers"! There is no aspect of this movie that is particularly good, which makes everything GREAT! Especially if you are a theatre student, like me. I refer to such cinematic techniques as introducing a character (A psychic medium in this instance) and NEVER closing up on her face! I refer to a man who is getting a crowd incensed, but they never respond with more than a dull "EERRRRR". I refer to a monologue by a Bible salesman (And won't most people in a religious community ALREADY own a Bible?) where in the middle of the monologue the shot changes to a Speed Limit sign for no apparent reason. Then there's the end of the film. I won't give it away, but you have GOT to stomach this movie to see the ending! It's worth it! Trust me!!!!!!

BEWARE: CHILDREN AT PLAY opens with a father and his young son on a camping trip in the wilds of New Jersey. Tragically, their bonding is interrupted by cannibalism.

Ten years later, a family is visiting a friend whose daughter has vanished, unaware that a dozen children have recently gone missing. This is all happening near the very woods where a feral teenager resides. Where have all the children gone, and who is committing the blood-splashing murders in the area? Is a local religious cult involved?

Cheap, and clumsier than a three-legged hippopotamus, B:CAP plods along, trying to be terrifying, betrayed at every turn by static filming, robotic "acting", and dismal dialogue. The "grandpa's-playing-with-the-synthesizer-again" musical score doesn't help. At all.

As for the "creepy" kids, they're hysterical! It's as though they were gathered together moments before filming, told what their lines and actions were to be, then told to "act". The result is a glorious mess! Watching them kill someone, is like watching ants crawling on a discarded candy wrapper. Of course, these tots are no worse than their adult counterparts, who recite lines that appear foreign to them!

Alas, this could have been an uber-schlock masterwork, if not for the terminal dullness factor. This is basically a nap, interrupted by a few gore scenes.

Beware, indeed!...

When I was still in high school, my friend called me up and told me to rent this movie. I believe his exact words were, "You will want to kill yourself this movie is so bad... but the last five minutes make up for the suckiness of the entire movie up to that point." And he was right.

The Movie is TERRIBLE. You know those kinds of movies that are so bad that they're good, in a funny kind of way? Well, this one is like that, except it's so bad that it passes right by funny and is almost impossible to get through.

But then there's the last five minutes. I've never been so happy to see a lot of people die, and I was laughing my ass off the entire time. It should be noted, however, that I had been drinking as a way of coping with the movie thus far, and therefore, it is possible that my impressions of the ending were slightly skewed. But that did not stop me from recommending the movie to all my friends, if only to make them sit through what I had to sit through.

If you liked "In the woods" or the 1st version of "The hitchhiker's guide" then you should have a ball with this one. However, seeing as how I've never met anyone who actually DID like the 1st version of "the hitchhiker's guide"...

Oh my goodness! This movie puts any ending to any other movie to shame. It was slow at first, I admit it. But that ending just made everything worth it. What beats a bunch of rednecks killing a bunch of young children. "Beware Children At Play"? More like "Beware Rednecks With Deadly Weapons At Play"! Rock on! I love this movie.