Auf brennendem Eis

Steven Seagal is now an employee of Aegis Oil where he is some sort of hired muscle and a former member of the CIA (his exact job seems unclear). After stumbling upon a sinister plot from his boss (played by an angry Michael Caine), he is marked for death by his employer and nearly killed. But after being revived by a tribe of Eskimos (including Joan Chen, who is actually Chinese) he returns to fight the oil company and give long speeches about the environment.

The formula here is the same as "Hard to Kill" -- Seagal finds a powerful man doing evil, is left for dead, healed by some spiritual stuff and returns to fight with a new love interest. So if you're looking for something new from Seagal, you're looking in the wrong place. The only new thing here is his directing and increased monologues.

This film's strength is in its co-stars. Joan Chen ("Twin Peaks"), Michael Caine, John C. McGinley, Bart the Bear, R. Lee Ermey and Billy Bob Thornton. An incredible line-up. Unfortunately, as good as they all are (especially McGinley, as the feminine assassin) they are stuck in a poorly written film with re-hashed plot and action sequences that are old and revolve around characters who yell "ow, my balls" a lot. I also think the emphasis on the Eskimo spirits was too intense. I appreciate what Seagal was trying to do by promoting the native people and their culture, but it was boring and took away heavily from the flow of the film.

Of the Seagal films I've seen, this was by far the least enjoyable. I found it a bit of a challenge to finish. See "Hard to Kill" or "Under Siege" if you like some Seagal action... this one is a bit of a bland flavor. Only for Seagal completists.

In this Alaskan film, Joan Chen plays what is quite probably the last word in Sino-Eskimo snow bunnies.

Eskimo Joan represents the same sort of Hollywood confusion about racial boundary lines which saw Larry Fishburne play the Moor of Venice, and Jackie Chan cast to play the King of Pop in an upcoming TV movie. (I'm kidding about one of these.) Not to mention generations of Italian and Jewish Indians, and more white actors in blackface than there are seeds in a watermelon.

Joan is teamed here with Steven Seagal, quite probably the last word in inarticulate and extremely violent tree-hugging Buddhists. Sort of the Billy Jack of the Barents Sea. His jacket has more fringe on it than you'd see at a reunion concert by the Buffalo Springfield.

Together, they try to build a world where an interracial couple can be happy in an oomiak built for two.

A number of years ago, I spent nearly 8 seconds at a book-signing in the presence of Michael Caine. For each of those seconds, he was extremely personable. So it's a bit of a revelation for me seeing him playing his two-faced vicious Hun of a smooth oil company CEO. Old favourite John C. McGinley also appears against type as one of Caine's nastier henchthugs.

Finally, there's Seagal's direction which takes his film on this ecological walk through the woods which makes it all seem a little like Oliver Stone after too many days trapped in a sweatlodge.

It's so ridiculous I actually found myself enjoying the whole thing quite a bit.

At the height of his fame Seagal was allowed to direct this monstrosity about evil Texas oil Aegis company polluting Alaska. With no prior experience in directing Steve stampeded his way into this movie with as much subtlety as a brick in the face. Originally called 'Spirit Warrior' and hoping to cast loads of English baddies (among them Anthony Hopkins and Jeremy Irons) the film is a horrid example of far too much creative control given to one man too blinkered by his own agenda to bother giving us anything resembling decent storytelling.

There is nothing significant or exceptional about Seagal's direction. Nor is the action very well done. It's cut too lazily and not shot for maximum viewing clarity. But what reeks about the story is that some big oil magnate called Michael Jennings (a completely hammy Michael Caine) wants to build a really shoddy oil rig in Alaska made out of dodgy parts because the rights to the land are about to revert back to the Eskimos after 30 years of non-use. So why wait 30 years to build the bloody thing?

Seagal plays Forrest Taft, an oil rig fireman who suddenly develops a conscience and is promptly eliminated from the payroll by way of being blown up. Only he is rescue by the Eskimos and, this is where the film just goes insane, goes on a spiritual journey in which he wrestles bears and turns into eagles and stuff. I mean, what the hell is all that about??? Don't even get me started on the scene where he makes a fully-grown hard-ass redneck cry in a bar full of similar stereotypes when the philosophy touches his soul. Then he gets his old self back together and sets about righting all the wrongs of Aegis Oil and saving the environment by littering it with dead bad guys.

Jennings hires a bunch of mercenaries (including R. Lee Ermey and Billy Bob Thornton) to take out Taft but of course they all prove to be useless since Taft is revealed to be an ex-CIA Agent (oh dear God..)Nothing much really happens apart from shooting and dying and Seagal beating up nameless extras. We've seen all of this before and it's no different this time round.

I do appreciate his environmentally friendly attitude but it could have made it a little less obvious and campy. Seagal's tacked on speech at the end originally ran for 30 minutes (Jeezuz sufferin') but Warner finally stepped in and said a big no-no.

We could have had an Oliver Stone or Insider amount of paranoia and conspiracy but this just ends up as the worst of Seagal's Hollywood movies.

What drew me to On Deadly Ground was that it had a few new ideas in its locker that I hadn't come across in many other action movies. The setting was Alaska, which sounded intriguing. The action was backed up by an environmental message, which also sounded intriguing. The hero was played by a wooden martial arts "actor", while the villain was played by a prolific, Oscar-winning superstar, which sounded like an irresistible pairing (just for the novelty value of seeing them on screen together). Add to that the fact that the music was by Basil Poledouris (whose scores for Conan the Barbarian and The Hunt For Red October are all-time great pieces of film music). On Deadly Ground seemed to have the promise and the potential to be something pretty interesting. Alas, the film fulfils very little of its potential. It's a particularly inept action flick.

Troubleshooter Forrest Taft (Steven Seagal) works for an oil company in Alaska fronted by the unpleasant Michael Jennings (Michael Caine, not in his worst ever film but certainly providing his worst ever performance). Taft gradually begins to realize that the company he works for is responsible for appalling environmental damage, but he can't get them to approach their business with a more environmentally-friendly outlook.... so he does the next best thing - he kicks some butt! Taft goes on a worthy crusade against his callous, single-minded bosses. Hired mercenaries are brought in to stop him, but Taft either evades or kills them in the Alaskan wilderness, and ruthlessly closes in on Jennings.

Seagal made a major mistake in directing the film himself. He lacks fluency as a director and has little grasp of how to link scenes correctly. Nor does he seem capable of coaxing decent performances from his surprisingly good cast. The film stumbles with near-random carelessness from one badly-acted scene to the next, diverting occasionally for the odd expensive-but-totally-soulless set piece. There are flashes of pretty cinematography, and in parts the action is crisply and competently choreographed, but generally the film is a disappointment. After the roasting that it received, Seagal's box office appeal took a permanent dip and Michael Caine stopped prostituting his talents in every film that was offered to him and actually started looking for scripts worthy of his ability.

I tend to actively avoid Steven Seagal films like the plague, and realize intermittently that I do in fact enjoy certain ones from back in the day. He's made a ton of trash, no doubt, but the clouds part every now and again, for select occasions like Under Siege, The Glimmer Man, Above The Law, Fire Down Below and the snowbound On Deadly Ground. The main marvel in this one is an incredibly hammy Michael Caine as the mustache twirling villain, a Big Oil maniac who has his amoral sights set on sacred land belonging to Inuit tribesman. Seagal plays yet another martial arts trained badass who takes it upon himself to bring down Caine, his nefarious capitalist plans and the violent mercenaries he has hired to wipe the land of indigenous natives. It's as silly as silly can be, right down to him falling in love with a beautiful Inuit girl (Joan Chen, actually Chinese), but enjoyable on its own terms when you look at the solid choreography, stunts and impressive location work. Also, the roster of villains is too good to pass up, starting with Caine's outright, wanton psychopath. We're also treated to the Sergeant himself, R. Lee Ermey as a merc with a particularly salty attitude, John C. McGinley over-playing one of his patented schoolyard bullies, and even Billy Bob Thornton shows up, adding to the sleaze factor. Watch for cameos from Mike Starr, Michael Jai White and an unbilled Louise Fletcher as well. Seagal directed this himself, so it's essentially one big vanity piece where he gets to play Dances With Wolves for a couple hours, but the trick is to see the unintentional comedy in that and enjoy it. Seagal is one of those goofs who I am not a ashamed to say I am laughing at, not with. Caine is the real prize here, and his merry band of assholes. An action flick is only as good as it's antagonist, and this guy is bad to the bone in hilariously over the top ways. A big dumb flick, nothing more, nothing le- well maybe a little less in places, but fun in other spots nonetheless.