McCinsey's Island - Ein tierisches Duo

This was in the bottom 5 of the worst movies I've ever seen. The plot made no sense. The acting was awful. There was nothing right about the movie. At first it's very entertaining to pick out all of the production bloopers, and make fun of the horrid acting (including a person making a "squak" noise for Hulk's parrot instead of having the parrot actually squak.) But after a while it just puts you to sleep. I'm a huge Hulk Hogan fan, but I have no idea why he makes movies like this and "Santa With Muscles." I also don't know why Grace Jones or The Big Show, Paul "Chef Bordee" Wight, agreed to make this. Hulk is very talented and is a tremendous entertainer, but for some reason loves B movies that make him look like an idiot. If you have any love for Hulk, please don't see this movie.

Who makes this stuff.

I watched this on BBC one tedious afternoon ... couldn't they just have showed us Titmarch repeats or something. So it's the Hulk none stop, no ads for what seems an eternity. OK so there's a big crazy world out there to explore, and there are even other channels, seems like hundreds of them these days. Obviously I didn't have to waste my precious hours on this inanity and then more time following it up with this effort to save you your hours; but note to BBC director general; McCinsey's Island into TV licenses of £150 or whatever it is, does not go! Going off at a bit of a tangent there but anyway ...

Seriously ... WHO MAKES THIS STUFF! Hulk Hogan ... I can only assume that the man has some kind of disorder that makes him literally need some kind of attention to survive ... he's wrestling at 53 for god sake!! Obviously the only attention McCinsey's Island will get the 'Hulkster' is, well, if it goes up there as one of the worst pieces of film of all time.

Plot: basically there is none ... everything's built around awfully carried out set pieces ... the most ridiculous one coming at the end where the main evil-doer chases our heroes along the shore, wait for it, on water skis, firing wildly at them before crashing. Hulk's stature and physique, his main 'attributes' as an actor; which I guess are supposed to offer the viewer something in the way of a substandard Arnie; cannot hold him up, given his monotone delivery and constant cardboard cutout appearance.

Anyway there's buried treasure, retired secret agents, treacherous damsels involved and an appearance by another wrestler (I think) for a show down with our favorite bandanna clad all action hero. It all pretty much passed me by. I kept watching it though ... sadly I fear just to able to say 'hey have you seen McCinsey's Island ... has to be the worst film I've ever seen'. That's just the petty type of person I am ... I advise you to avoid this piece of trash like the proverbial plague. I dunno; check out one of the Hulk's better efforts in the time you save yourself ... The Nanny ... now that was a film ...

WHO MAKES THIS STUFF EH?

What makes this movie so bad? Is that the insane plot about Hulk Hogan's "retired" secret agent finding a treasure map on the back of a turtle and then following it? Is it the sad waste of talent of Robert Vaughan? Is it Grace Jones's almost insulting turn as the baddie and the usual assortment of incompetent henchmen? Or is it the patronising and quite frankly unbelievably immoral ending?

Surely somebody, at some stage of making this picture, must have realised that the only people who were going to watch this was desperate parents who drop their kids in front of rubbish like this and call it "family entertainment"? It's cheap, crass, embarrassing and just not worth the effort. I realise that I may not be the target audience but even so, children should not have to put up with awful movies like this one. Avoid like a nasty aunt at Christmas!

Still, the scenery looked nice.

I'd spent the Saturday night awake, chatting to friends online, and so consequently I was feeling a little tired on Sunday morning. I was staying at a friend's house so there were two of us crashed in his room in front of the computer. We switched the TV on and crashed about 15-20 minutes into this movie.

At first I thought that the movie was a creation of my own tired, over-imaginative mind; OK this is a dream, I'm dreaming this, I can handle this, I ought to lay off the peanut M&Ms.

But no. The more we watched, the more I realized this was real. Very real.

Hulk Hogan was Hulk Hogan, usually sporting a wry little smile that suggested to me "yes I know this film is pants, I'm not taking it seriously". Robert Vaughn was trying desperately to act (doing rather well too). The remainder of the cast (yes Grace Jones, I'm mainly thinking of you) would probably have failed an audition for a Nativity Play on this performance.

But it doesn't stop there. Maybe because we didn't see the start but all kinds of plot lines didn't appear to make sense, nothing seemed to follow on from each other, I never felt any tension in the movie and upon watching the scene near the end with Grace Jones water skiing (?) onto the beach I was left wondering ... "WHY???". The dialogue was pretty poor [IMDB lists no "memorable quotes" which in this case would also make a good plot summary].

I'm left with the general thought of "why was this movie made", except as an example on how not to make a movie.

Closing thoughts. It is the worst movie I have ever seen (and I saw "Robocop 3" at the cinema!), I can't explain it any more than I already have done, you will never complain about movies again. That alone makes this movie a "Must See"!!

It is August. I'm hoping they go on to show "Santa with Muscles" at Christmas.

This movie stunk. I mean, it's hard to imagine seeing much worse, but Santa Claus with Muscles could do it. But what a stinker. I mean, a real bomb. The story is dumb, the dialog make the story seem great. A parrot with a food obsession? That was possibly the best part! ick!