Wie ich zum ersten Mal Selbstmord beging

"this was not the last time I committed suicide..." That's such an amazing line. It's all about how you make certain choices that could make the world of difference in your future, how the road you have just chosen to take might not be the one that you most want -- but for some reason you take it anyways. That by one choice, you are killing a life that you might've had. It's a great movie! And the ending is wonderful! It's so bittersweet, so honest. It makes me wish that things were as easy as they were then. That like Neal Cassady, I could just drop everything, hop into a stolen car, and ride away --- doesn't matter where, just away.

The best thing about this movie is the opening scene, where Neal Cassady is doing more daydreaming and dancing then he is working on his writing. The beginning of the movie screams to Cassady's life, and shows the audience a Marlon Brando type character that had strong ties with folks like, Allen Ginsberg and Jake Kerouac. Cassady, a forgotten literary figure with more passion for creativity then progress in writing, would later become the character to drive the bus in Ken Kesey's, The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test. It is important to note, that while Cassady had only one decent literary publication, his zealous outlook on life was borrowed by some of the "great literary beat writers" in America.

The Actor Keanu Reeves, who I have never been a huge fan of, does an excellent job of shedding light on Cassady's constant dissonance about leaving the life of a beat writer, for the life of a 9-5 working man with a stable house, beautiful wife, and loving family.

The movie overall, is about this dissonance, is about the passion that Cassady had for both the creative life and the more stable environment of the family life. Sadly, Cassady was unable to find balance between the two.

Do not expect, watching this movie that it will touch your life with a "wow-effect" forever. It is not some type of magical-beat-generation-movie that you can philosophize about for hours, it is just a pretty good movie.

What you can keep with you forever, however, is the soundtrack to this movie, The Last Time I Committed Suicide. With scores of music from folks like, Miles Davis, Dizzy Gillespie, Thelonious Monk, Tyler Bates, Ella Fitzgerald and Charles Mingus, this soundtrack is sure visit any jazz lovers CD player often.

Seeing that the whole movie is based on a letter from Neal Cassidy to Jack Kerouac, I reckon Stephen Kay did an excellent job of re-creating the essence that was Cassidy and his neer-do-well existence.

You felt for Neal (played very well by Thomas Jane ). He could almost taste the sweetness of a well balanced life - the honey at home the white picket fence the dog running around in the yard, but circumstance (his likings for the female of the species, penchant for stealing cars and his friendship with good 'ol HARRY [played brilliantly by KEANU REEVES]), just got in the way of true happiness.

The supporting cast give good all round performances, especially Claire Forlani as the girl of Cassidy's 'dreams'.

This movie catches the 'beat' excellently with great visuals and a Class A soundtrack.

Highly recommended.

This movie was amazing...Thomas Jane was terrific..Claire Forlani, Gretchen Mol..BUT..the one who stole the film...was KEANU REEVES..he should be VERY proud of the job he did in this film. He *was* Harry...was not afraid to put on the extra pounds for the role..he looked like a loser barfly.. a very lovable one..This was a very overlooked film..that many people have not had the privilege to see...If you want to see Keanu Reeves ACT..see this film..Stephen Kay did a wonderful job..he captured the spirit of the time in the language and the cinematography.

Seeing this film for the first time is like being introduced to that friend or lover you always dreamed about. Neal Cassady, the hero of Jack Kerouac's On The Road and Visions Of Cody, comes to life on the screen, having the same effect as James Dean used to; as the old cliche goes: women want him, men want to be him. Taken from a letter Cassady wrote to good ol' Jack, the story meanders around the lives of Cassady, his pool hall boozer friend Harry, and his lovely but melancholy girlfriend Joan (played exquisitely by Claire Forlani, who is in my humble opinion one of the most beautiful and gifted people working in Hollywood today). So, not to give too much of the plot away, Neal manages to have his decisions made for him; whether this is by fate or by his own personality is left up to the viewer. Stephen Kay follows Cassady and recreates a legend before our eyes. And whoever discovered Thomas Jane deserves a big ol' kiss. The film delivers, and the spirit of the Beats once again is given a voice and, as it were, an image.