In Vitro - Angriff der Mutanten

Laughable, dull, overly dramatic script. Flat, one dimensional characters. The most unrealistic dialogue. People don't really talk this...imbecile! Elvina--I know she is supposed to be a dim witted blonde, but she is bad actress and cannot even act stupid. The Castle looked very good, but it is just a prop, at least the outside. Why this needed to be filmed in Romania, I will never know. The best part about this movie was putting a very attractive woman in a gorilla mask, and having her walk around in the snow topless in booty shorts w/ a gun--That is classic.

3 out of 10

Ok, with a title like HIDEOUS! you know right off-the-bat that the

filmmakers weren't out to win any Oscars with this offering.

Surprisingly though, what director Charles Band and his co-horts

at Full Moon Pictures do accomplish is a much better B-movie

than one might expect.



The plot is simple yet completely deranged: a "biological oddities

broker", Belinda Yost (Tracy May), and her two, wealthy, high-profile

collector clients, Napolean Lazar (Mel Johnson Jr.) and Dr. Lorca

(Michael Citriniti), square off against one another over a deformed

specimen found at a local sewer filtration plant. One has his half- naked, gorilla-mask wearing assistant Sheila (Jaqueline Lovell)

steal it while the other hires a P.I., Det. Kantor (Gerard O' Donnell)

to track it down. Everyone winds up in a strange, Transylvanian

castlesque mansion fighting one another until, lo-and-behold,

monsters come to life and all hell breaks loose!



Granted the story isn't great, or barely even good, but the film does

manage to shine in a few areas. The cinematography, despite

what is obviously constructed on a reduced budget, is top-notch.

The film is also well-directed, given the poor material with which it

contends. Well paced and shot. And some of the portrayals and

acting/actors are much better than what one might encounter in

similar features and situations; on one end, fine performances are

given by Lovell (who is very easy on the eyes, I might add), May and

O'Donnell (O'Donnell should be making "real" pictures), but then

we have to contend with over-indulgent, ham from Citriniti,

Johnson Jr. and Rhonda Griffin. It comes out even I suppose.



But the most disappointing aspect of HIDEOUS! by far has to be

the creature effects. They are just plain awful. The deformed

monstrosities look more like skinned Muppets, yet with 50 times

less articulation. They can barely move, mutter incessantly, run

around oozing goo and bring the possibilities of the picture down

quite considerably. And the "sex-scene" is too unbelievably stupid

to describe, but is a must-see! Yes, HIDEOUS! is meant to have a

comic undertone for certain, but chances are the viewer won't be

laughing "with" the makers of this ugly nugget.



5/10. This all could have been avoided if they'd used

Tupperware...

This is not a real review, it should be understood more as a collection of impressions on the film.

At the basis of this film there is clearly a great desire to make a light comedy with hideous out-of-this-world creatures that create quite a bit of disgust, but in any case it is a comedy and therefore makes you laugh in many parts, especially due to the absolute absurdity of the majority of the scenes which are exaggerated on purpose to generate hilarity in the viewer. So as a horror it is completely to be thrown away but as a comedy it is really cute and entertaining and therefore in my opinion it is a bit underrated, that is, its rating is too low because even if the film is not a masterpiece it still deserves something just to be entertained and funny .

HIDEOUS! is another classic from the heyday of Director Charles Band's FULL MOON productions. It has all the right ingredients, including an opening that features two men skimming a huge raw sewage vat for "artifacts"! The fiendish Dr. Lorca (Michael Citriniti) is a collector of such "treasures", and will pay any price to procure them from the sludge. What are these precious finds? Why, freakish mutant fetuses of course.

Trouble breaks out when Lorca's rivals show up at his castle, along with the FBI. Horrible fun ensues.

BEST SCENE IN THE MOVIE: Lorca's faithful assistant, Sheila (Jacqueline Lovell) topless, in leather shorts! Wearing a go-rilla mask! With a gun! In the snow! My friends, this is why god created cinema!...

A sewage treatment plant clean-up crew (where do I sign up?!) fish out a red glob "specimen," which turns out to be more than just worthless sludge, but an invaluable formula capable of reviving mutant creatures. What it's doing in the sewer is anyone's guess. After it's stolen by eccentric, unorthodox Dr. Lorca (Michael Citriniti) and his sexy, blonde always topless assistant Sheila (Jacqueline Lovell), the "owners" hire a private detective to get it back. Above characters (plus a ditsy secretary) become trapped inside Lorca's castle home and face off against four bite-size mutant monsters who attack and start killing because they want their independence (!)

Although the little killers will instantly bring to mind Band's Full Moon PUPPET MASTER series, this silly, but very fun, time waster has decent production values, cute slimy puppet monsters and a decent unknown cast (Tracie May and Lovell are especially good). Although Band has fallen into a pit of mini-monster reptitiveness, he has improved as a scriptwriter, and the witty, sarcastic and often very funny dialogue in this film proves it.