Convict 762

An all babe spaceship blasts off with a serviceable sci-fi script. It sounds like fun, right? Wrong!! The girls crash land on a planet devoid of sunlight in a spacecraft devoid of light bulbs. The gloomy set only compliments the dismal cinematography. (If using ultra low light is a gimmick for obscuring a low budget, it doesn't work). The girls are photographed mainly from the chin up. You probably won't feel cheated or teased by this, however, since their wardrobes are as enticing as potato sacks. The sparse action provided is also undermined by the lack of light and cramped cinematography. I sometimes wonder how those stupid enough to produce these unappealing gems are smart enough to get the money in the first place. The producers wasted their time and money. Don't waste yours.

Convict 762 is a lesson in how not to make a sci-fi film. Completely and utterly unwatchable. How on earth did a film like this get made? The performances were overwrought and the special effects were so terrible I expected to see the fishing line holding up the spaceships. Please Hollywood don't make anymore pieces of drivel like this I beg you.

This movie was a waste of time. The plot makes no sense most of the time. The characters are idiots - their crewmate gets savagely murdered; they say "Let's split up!" Another one gets murdered; they hear someone dying over the intercom, and they say "Lets explore the planet some more and try to help." How about this one: One of the crew is behaving in a psychotic mutinous way, frees a psychotic murderous prisoner and gets her friend killed in the process. You're the captain - what do you do?

a) shoot the crewmember b) put the crewmember in the brig c) leave the crewmember to rot on the prison planet d) yell at the crewmember and tell her she'll have to shape up

You guessed it, our intrepid captain picked (d). And I'm supposed to care about these people? You expect horror movie people to do dumb things and get killed, but at least they should have a reason to do the dumb things and an acknowledgement that the things are dangerous.

Don't see this movie. The box looks like it would be sort of interesting, but it wasn't. I literally almost fell asleep on the couch in the middle - I have the lines on my cheek to prove it.

Like most people who rent this movie, I got sucked in because the box proclaimed that there would be several women stuck on a space ship. So... images of Erin Gray from the second season of Buck Rodgers flashed through my mind. Boy was I disappointed. Not only was there no plot, but there wasn't even an alluring outfit! I thought these movies REQUIRED spandex.

Note to the direct-to-video companies - ONLY men rent these movies, and they ONLY do so in order to see women who are more attractive than the ones in their social circles.

Man, the 90's where just filled with redundant sci-fi quickies like this. CONVICT 762 has some sort of a horror-edge to it, tries to make a point somewhere along the line, but the over-all plot and conclusion misses it completely. Apparently, this film has the ability to erase itself from your memory after having seen it. I guess, for many, that will be a good thing. About the only thing I can remember, are the crappy special effects near the end (something to do with a platform and the spaceship trying to leave, I think). On the other hand, it also doesn't allow me to remember if there actually was any female nudity in this film or not, and that's less funny. I mean, here we have a spaceship with a crew consisting only out of a bunch of babes... This film has to have nudity, right? Well, I can't frickin' remember! And it hasn't even been that long since I've seen CONVICT 762.

Okay, whatever.

Not really worthy of your time, this film, even if it has Billy Drago in it. And Frank Zagarino should just stick to playing cyborgs that don't speak in rubbish sci-fi/action pictures. Nevertheless, I was expecting CONVICT 762 to be an even worse movie somehow, based on its (at the time) 2.9/10 rating on here. Somehow it's gone up to 3.5/10 by now. With that, I conclude that we live in strange times now, filled with strange people who like watching strange crappy sci-fi flicks from the 90's.