Horror in the Attic

Edgy? Stylish? Though-provoking?

More like Unoriginal, Stupid, and Confusing. This movie was a monumental letdown, all things considered. For starters, the plot was a messy rehash of several other "successful" movies. The writer must have been watching Fight Club, Vanilla Sky, and the Truman Show on 3 different TVs and thought "Wow, if I could only rip all 3 of these off, I could make the most mind-bogglingly retarded waste of film known to man!" The main character, Noname McNeedsActingLessons, looked like some horribly distorted charicature of George W. Bush. Seth Green, who enjoyed fame in questionably "mainstream movies," figured he could make an easy paycheck with this one by doing a bad Brad Pitt impression from 12 Monkeys. The plot jumps so much from one ripoff to another that I can just see the director thinking, "I can't wait until THIS scene, it'll blow their minds." Why yes, it did blow my mind... I WAS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT WAS GOING ON! "But it's deep man," says the director, pointing out all the complex metaphors. About as deep as Corky Romano. Ted Raimi's character, apparently commenting on the plot, said it best, "There's too many variables." Yes, Ted, too many indeed.

Skip this one. If you fall into a trap and happen to see it, skip forward to Ted Raimi's scenes. He's the savior to an otherwise convoluted mess of pretentious crap.

This film felt very disjointed and unfinished. It was stylishly directed and edited well but there were too many unanswered questions in the end. The actor who played Trevor was not very good. He was so stiff and unanimated. All of his dialogue felt very forced. I don't think he was a strong enough actor to play the lead in this film. Seth Green was great as always and the only thing that kept me from turning this film off were the scenes between Ted Raimi and Jeffrey Combs. How about a horror flick staring these two guys?! Now that would be good!

I am honestly not sure what to make of this film. When I came here to read the reviews, it was mainly to find out what the heck had happened, why I was left so confused and frustrated when the credits rolled. This and Mulholland Drive are two of the most confusing movies I have ever seen, and I have the distinct impression that one of two things happened with each movie: either the film was incredibly well-done, well-acted, well-shot, and well-written and just flew over my head because I'm too stupid to understand it, or it was shoddily written and pieced together like a puzzle assembled by a drugged, blindfolded, mitten-clad psycho. I'd like to think that I'm intelligent enough to pick up on clues in a movie, so the fact that both of them left me so puzzled frustrated me beyond belief.

Having read the reviews, I have a better understanding of what Attic Expeditions was about. I'd like to give it a third viewing (yes, I've already watched it twice, to no avail) and see if I can actually follow it. I enjoyed Seth Green's performance, although I can see how he might be chided for copying Brad Pitt's "12 Monkeys" character. I enjoyed the way the movie was shot, I enjoyed the twisted-ness of it. Some of it was awkward and predictable, but only at the last minute. You'd be given a tiny clue about something, then you'd guess what it was and right away you'd be rewarded with the information you just guessed.

I'm sorry if this is obtuse, but I'm trying not to give anything away here. If you're curious to know what I thought upon my third viewing after knowing more of what it was about, feel free to e-mail me. Or maybe I'll leave another review here. Or maybe I'll just take the DVD, toss in onto a burning pile of other movies I hated, and never look back.

Stay tuned.

Promising in some ways. It looks like it might go somewhere - until the last half hour, which becomes increasingly unpleasant and confusing, climaxing in an arrogant or incompetent refusal to explain and fill in the loose ends. The performances and photography are quite competent. Unfortunately, it all collapses like a schizoid house of cards at the end. When it works, it feels like a combination of Suspiria and Jacob's Ladder.

Trevor (Andras Jones from Nightmare on Elm Street 4 and Sorority babes in the Slimeball Bowl-a-Rama) kills his girlfriend and is sentenced to a stay in the half way house for loons by Dr. Elk (genre staple Jeffrey Combs). But things are not nearly what they seem. I wanted to like this I really did, and to it's merit it did start off rather well, but as it went on it became a casualty of too many twists spoiling the stew. The ending is anti-climatic as well and left me thinking "Is that it???" I read that this is a 'thinking persons' horror film. I'm sorry but that's pretty laughable as anyone with half a brain could follow it. Mindfu@k movies can be good, when they have a point to them (ie. Fight Club, the Twin peaks series) But this isn't one of those.And Seth Green isn't really the best actor in the world to put it diplomatically.

My Grade: C-

DVD Extras: both widescreen and fullscreen versions; behind the scenes featurette; and Theatrical trailer

Eye Candy: Beth Bates shows everything, Shannon Cleary goes full frontal