Werewolf

In an archeological dig site, the crew unearths skeletal remains that bear a mixture of human and canine characteristics that some on the crew believe to be a skinwalker (werewolf). During a fight instigated by site supervisor Yuri (Jorge Rivero), one of the crew is scratched by the skeleton and soon becomes ill. Eventually the crewman becomes a skinwalker through Yuri's intervention and mysterious inciidents involving beasts begin to plague the surrounding area.

Werewolf is a 1996 direct to video horror film made by Iranian filmmaker Tony Zarrindast. Zarrindast's career spanned all the way back to 1962 when he began directing low budget schlock in his native Iran, but following the Iranian revolution he fled to the United States where he continued to produce exploitation films with his same seal of quality (hence why he's nicknamed the Iranian Ed Wood). Werewolf is one of Zarrindast's more well known films having been showcased on cult movie mocking show Mystery Science Theater 3000 and were it not for its showcase on that show Werewolf might've faded into obscurity like so many other forgotten 90s direct to video genre fare. Given the nature of Tony Zarrindast's filmography, it should surprise no one that Werewolf doesn't work as a horror film as it's a sloppy mess of a movie.

To start off on a positive note, the premise behind Werewolf is intriguing at first. The nature of the werewolf in the film is tied to native American mythology involving skinwalkers (also called "yetiglanchi" according to the movie, but I wasn't able to confirm if this was a real term). The impetus of the skeletal remains of a werewolf still having the power to turn those injured with them into werewolves is an interesting concept on paper but in execution not so much.

The movie per the standards of its director plays very stiff and awkward with shots that go on too long, weird incorporation of animal sound effects that are non-diegetic, stilted deliveries from the actors many of whom seem like English may be their second language, and stiff robotic fight sequences that have the "punching tire" sound effect you may remember from every other 70s Kung Fu flick you've forgotten. Even the werewolf effects which are of paramount importance to any werewolf movie are really inconsistent with the make-up sometimes appearing as vaguely humanoid with fur around the face only to be coupled with insert close-ups that feature a puppet that has a significantly longer snout than the make-up used on the actors. The movie's also filled with confusing editing choices and obvious day for night shots that they don't even attempt to make convincing and I'd be hard pressed to tell you about the motivations of certain characters with action and reason seeing noticeable divergence.

Werewolf is a bad movie, but it's an amusingly bad movie. It has a nugget of a good idea when it comes to unique takes on werewolf lore but aside from that one point in its favor its pretty much everything a werewolf movie shouldn't do done anyway.

Thrill to the harpsichord music in the pool hall scene! Wonder at our heroine's ability to abuse English syntax and pronunciation! Tremble as the "wuur-wilves" grow wispy hair extensions and don animal puppet heads before striking! Shudder from exposure to the looney militant caretaker! Cackle as the greedy and inexplicably violent archaeologist's hair style and color spontaneously change from scene to scene! And don't miss Charlie Sheen's uncle's critical role as an itinerant site-digger.

Let's face it -- the only way to watch this dud is with the Mystery Science Theater 3000 crew lambasting it. Richard Lynch, ordinarily a good character actor, must have really been hurting financially to allow himself to be seen (and wasted) in this were-dog of a movie. Other favorite parts of mine include the hero turning off a radio, abruptly ending the annoying spooky soundtrack, and (in the MST3K version) Mike and the 'Bots' sing-along variations on the end theme.

This is a film that was featured on my favorite television show Mystery Science Theater 3000. It made for a very funny episode of the show as there was just a lot of aspects to the film to riff. You had Joe Estevez who is Martin Sheen's brother who I am guessing only gets roles because he looks like his more famous sibling. You have a dude who changes his hairstyle several times during the film, you have a solid actor in Richard Lynch reduced to a very underwhelming role and wearing a grandmotherly sweater and you have the two lead characters who both sound like they are from the same country in Europe. It is not all bad though, as the werewolf at times looks pretty good and the lead female has a nice set to stare at, but that is just not enough to rate the film any higher than the two I have given it here. It was not boring though and there were also a couple of good kills, but there is just too much randomness going on in this one to rank it higher. The fact that the film goes in one direction and shows you the beast and then proceeds to take it in another direction with another main character kind of weakens the film.

The story starts out having people digging in the desert, searching for stuff. Well, they find the remains of something and then proceed to get in a fight that Richard Lynch must stop. One of the workers gets cut on the remains that resemble some sort of animal, but also has some human qualities too. Well the guy who gets cut becomes a werewolf and the guy who constantly changes his hair proceeds to make matters worse and soon the guy is a full blown werewolf who promptly gets shot. Is the movie over already? No, another character is introduced who goes to a party and somehow gets involved in the whole affair and gets cut too as the dude who changes his hair also likes to wield werewolf skulls as weapons. Soon, the writer who likes the girl with the nice rack and is apparently from the same country as him, starts changing and running through the streets and doing things!

This made for a great episode of MST3K. It is a bad film, but not a boring film. There is enough in it to keep one entertained throughout and for the gang to riff throughout too. The film is much longer without being on the show as I am guessing MST3K showed maybe an hour and ten minutes while the run time for the standard version is an hour and 39 minutes. That would probably explain some of the more confusing jumps in it, but I am pretty sure the movie would remain pretty bad even with the extra time as the two lead characters are still going to be talking with thick accents and that one guy may have even had a couple of more hairstyles on display. I do think there had to be more with Richard Lynch though as his character kind of disappears at the tail end of the MST3K version.

So, while this film is severely cut for its showing on MST3K, I am just going to assume that whatever was cut was not going to make this thing an Oscar contender. As I've said the werewolf looks pretty good at times, but a lot of the time it is just some hair here and there and at other times it resembles a bear. The characters are over the top and fun to make fun of, but it is kind of sad to see Richard Lynch stuck in this mess. The guy was in some good films during his career and this is most definitely not one of them! In the end though it is a perfect film for MST3K and I think that if they had simply continued to do the show as like a DVD release here and there after SyFy canceled it, they could do more justice to films like this because they could do more unedited versions. I am kind of curious to see an uncut version just to see if that one gal goes topless!

Well, let's put it like this. They must have spent more money for the cool-looking holographic werewolf-transformation cover than they spent for the entire rest of the movie.

It was a horrible, horrible film. Makes Plan 9 look like Ben Hur.

This movie does indeed stink a lot. However, that DOES NOT mean it isn't worth viewing. It's actually a hilarious romp through Flagstaff, Arizona. First off you have stars like Richard Lynch (Trancers II) and Joe Estevez (Beach Babes From Beyond), these guys are always great in B-movies like this one!

The dialogue is insane and the special effects are ridiculous - is that really supposed to be a werewolf? I think it looks more like a bear that lived on Endor and got beat by a bunch of Ewoks with traffic cones.

Anyhow, the real gem here is the character portrayed by R.C. Bates (Bad Girls) known as "Sam the Keeper". Sam's job is to watch over the house where are main character lives. Not since the movie "Fletch" has the silver screen been graced by a more hilarious watchman.

Sam's is one goofy guy - he looks like Santa Claus/Jerry Garcia dressed up in camo carrying a shotgun "just to keep the flies down". He's a lovable goof and every scene he's in you'll find yourself hitting rewind to hear him deliver his goofy lines over and over. He even calls Count Dracula a faggot - but you don't need to believe him, "cause that's the facts!"

Sam the Keeper makes this movie a must see. Good out and rent it! Invite a couple friends over, order some pizza, and laugh away.

It should be noted that my friends and I thought this movie was so funny that I should have been on MST3K when we first saw it years ago... well, there is a sense of justice out there, because it did end up being on MST3k and boy, that was a good episode.

R.C. Bates forever!!!