Tödliche Weihnachten

A lot of 'The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996)' is decidedly silly, especially when it comes to its over-the-top, tonally jarring and generally just outright ridiculous action sequences. The heroes are essentially indestructible, despite the heavy beating they both endure by the film's end, to the point that it becomes quite ludicrous they'd survive the events they do (indeed, the original script was much darker and even included a major death, which was shot but recut because of audience testing). However, there's generally a knowing vibe the the flick, one that's marked by Shane Black's signature witty banter and some almost ostentatious performances, and this allows the picture to remain fun regardless of its occasional tonal issues, its cartoonish action scenes and all its unkept mayhem (seriously, the flick has quite the body-count). It has an almost satirical feel that's compounded by the several scenery-chewing monologues, tried-and-tested genre cues and people who refer to themselves as spies with a straight face. 6/10

Before Jason Bourne was an assassin who lost his memory there was Charlie Baltimore and she has no sequels. The way I see it, Geena Davis was ahead of her time. Yes, we'd had "La Femme Nikita" and maybe a few others, but "The Long Kiss Goodnight" was the first female kickass assassin movie I'd ever seen.

This movie went for a tandem that hadn't quite been explored: White female with Black male. I think it worked fabulously. Samuel Jackson pretty much reprised his same role in "Die Hard with a Vengeance." In there he was the reluctant and very funny sidekick. In TLKG he was pretty much the same: a low-rent private eye who was thrust into the middle of a federal game of kill or be killed.

Geena Davis, as Charlene "Charlie" Baltimore was perfect if not for her known character types. She'd always played a fragile motherly type: "The Fly," "Beetlejuice," and "Thelma & Louise" are a few examples. So she fit nicely as a spy who'd lost her memory and wound up being a small town matriarch known for her cookies and clean life. Then to see her flip and become this foul mouth, unbreakable, vicious assassin was awesome.

My only question is where is "The Long Kiss Goodnight 2"? Worse spy/assassin movies have been given sequels so why not give Charlie Baltimore a franchise?

Samantha Caine, schoolteacher, mother, suffering from amnesia, suddenly finds the impetus to track down her former life after an attempt is made on her life. It's going to be explosive......

Absolute preposterous nonsense laced with explosions, cringe worthy dialogue and Geena Davis as an all killing assassin bitch. Is it any good? Oh yes indeed! Directed by Mr Unsubtle-Renny Harlin {Davis' then husband} and written by one Shane Black {Lethal Weapon, Last Boy Scout & Kiss Kiss Bang Bang}, is it any wonder that the Long Kiss Goodnight is ear splittingly loud and funny as hell?

Davis plays Sammy "home-maker" Caine who teams up with a superbly seedy Samuel L. Jackson as ex-bent copper, ex-convict, Mitch Henessey. Their mission, which they choose to accept, involves rekindling Samantha's past life as an assassin called Charly Baltimore and unearthing shady government conspiracies. Shot against a bitter winter backdrop on the East Coast, with the Christmas setting oddly adding potency, our wonderful duo take us on one hell of a ride. Davis excels as a sexy action heroine while Jackson is content, and impactingly so, to let Davis basically kick buttocks as he plays perfect side-kick foil. Harlin, this after the critically savaged Cutthroat Island, knows how to construct action scenes, check out the train station scene and a tanker on the run heart pumper. But it's with Shane Black's screenplay that the film primarily entertains. Full of one line zingers and role reversal put downs, you should be laughing as your eyes and ears are assaulted in popcorn bonanza.

Mindless all action fun. 7.5/10

I have always liked a good action movie with a woman lead, Linda Hamilton comes to mind in the Terminator series, of course Sigourney Weaver in the Alien series, and Laura Linney in The Congo,(another one of the Micheal Crichton renditions) was an excellent strong female in an action movie. But none can even come close to Geena Davis in "The Long Kiss Goodnight". She quite simply blew me away ( as well as an incredible amount of bad guys) with the way she "handled her business" in this flick. I gotta tell ya- I will love this woman forever as the result of scenes from this movie-like when jumping from what? six-seven flights up, simultaneously firing an automatic weapon in a circular pattern in order to break a hole through a frozen lake surface-at the same time dragging an incredulous Sam Jackson out the window with her. Yo, this woman, this movie is the Boom Diggie!! I could probably go on extolling this movie for at least 25 to 30 thousand words, but you know, I'd rather look at this movie than write about it, so I'm off. My advice to you is go rent Stuart Little, in case you're one of those weirdos that don't have your own personal copy at home, then follow it up with Cutthroat Island and then finish your evening with "Long Kiss Goodnight" and I guarantee you it will take every bit of will you've got in ya to keep from stalking this woman-not to mention I only found out today she was born on the exact same date as my own, 1/21/56-an Aquarius on top of everything. (Getting a little weird on ya but I had to find some way to throw that in)Don't worry Geena I am happily married with a houseful of happy Geena fans at home right now watching Mr Little! To anyone who hasn't had the pleasure, get out there and rent this film today- you will not be disappointed-to say the least! Finally-you match up Arnold vs Geena based on this movie-and you gotta go with Geena Davis-hands down- This babe is bad!This flick is sweet!

Not a box office success; no-one really knows why. It may have failed simply because of its title. It looks as though you need a two-word tough-guy title to attract a sufficient proportion of the idiot crowd - "Die Hard", "Lethal Weapon", "Hard Weapon", "Die Lethal", etc. - talking about "the long kiss goodnight" will get you nowhere. But for once Renny Harlin has made a GOOD action movie. A large part of the reason for this lies in the fact that the central character, Samantha, earns our affection and interest early on. As she becomes Charly again, we're torn: we certainly want Charly to thwart the bad guys, and all that; but we don't want her to lose touch with Samantha in order to do so - even though we like Charly, too. Geena Davis bestows all of her considerable charm on both halves of the central character. Samuel L. Jackson plays second fiddle for a change. It turns out he's good at it. That was a compliment.

Intelligent, far superior to anything in the "Die Hard" series - if I were more cynical I'd add, "it's not surprising that it didn't do well", but I don't really feel that way; it IS surprising that it didn't do well.