Killer Barbys

A Spanish punk rock band named ¨Killer Barbys¨-actual name of the punk rock band- has a car accident while on tour. Excited about their next big gig, instead, The Killer Barbies Spanish punk rock band, have to endure a crucial setback when their rusty old van breaks down in the backwoods. Formed by five young people, two couples, Billy (Billy King) and Sharon (Angie Barea), and Rafa (Carlos Subterfuge) and Flavia (Silvia Superstar), as well as Mario (Charlie S. Chaplin). After a performance, they take a deserted road to the next concert venue, but the car falls into a hole and breaks down. With no way to fix it and lost in the middle of nowhere, they are surprised by a sinister man, the butler Arkan (Aldo Sambrell), who invites the group to spend the night in a nearby castle, owned by the mysterious Countess Von Fledermaus. Forced to spend the night at the eerie castle of Countess Von Fledermaus, the musicians soon realize that the mysterious lady's kindness hides macabre, blood-curdling schemes. As the unsuspecting musicians meander through the gloomy wilderness. Now, a centuries-old secret is about to unfold. Once staying in the old castle and while trying to get used to the gloomy atmosphere of the place, the young people are chased by a crazy killer, Baltasar (Santiago Segura), whose goal is to take the blood of the victims and use it to maintain the beauty and youth of the centenarian Countess. Then the unprotected visitors must survive the hours of darkness and the macabre threats of a mysterious contessa (Mariangela Giordano of The Night of Terror, 1981) and his underlings.

A below average film by prolific Jesús Franco, including chills, nudism, sex scenes and lots of blood and gore. This is another low-budget "exploitation" film by director Jesús Franco, with the same messy characteristics already known from his long filmography, with a script, also of his authorship, superficial and full of holes like a cheese and the same old clichés. The scenes with the band playing are very pathetic, as well as the actions of the brainless young people, who deserve to die painfully. In Killer Barbys Franco uses his artisanal trademarks, such as: zooms, nudity, close-ups on objects, making the film in the 'do it yourself' (DIY) style and managing to work extraordinarily quickly with a very low budget. This is a slightly entertaining European horror movie by packing absurd situations and cheesy frames. It's a 1996 movie, but it looks like the same thing Franco did in the 70s. So, what arouses the interest of lovers of crude horror films are the always welcome elements of gothic atmosphere, with the scary castle shrouded in thick fog, the threatening butler, the chases in a ghostly forest, the bloody deaths with mutilated bodies hanging inverted to bleed like pigs slaughtered in slaughterhouses, and the countess who keeps a diabolical secret about her eternal youth. And it is worth highlighting, among the amusing clums, the scene of death by crushing by a steamroller, produced with practical effects and far from the artificiality of computer graphics. Stars the ferocious Silvia Superstar , leader of the punk rock that had a fleeting and passing success in the nineties . The Spanish band "Killer Barbies" exists in reality and was created by vocalist and guitarist Silvia Superstar and drummer Billy King, being invited to participate in Franco's two films. But, to avoid problems with the rights to the Barbie doll brand, the band had the name slightly changed in the films to "Killer Barbys". And accompanied by two B-stars: Aldo Sambrell and Mariangela Giordano who at her 59 provides some erotic scenes, as well as Franco regulars such as: Charlie S. Chaplin, composer Daniel White and Rosa Maria Almirall or Lina Romay as film editor.

The film feature was poorly directed by prolific Spanish filmmaker Jesús Franco or Jess Frank or Uncle Jess. Jess Franco himself directed another lousy sequel in 2002 called Killer Barbys vs Dracula. This was one of director Jess Franco's final productions shot on film stock before he switched to shooting on video in the late '90s to reduce costs. Most people agreed that some of Frank's work was passable, but most were botched films. Jess was a Stakhanovite and restless writer, producer and director who made more than 200 films. His career spanned more than 50 years with some successes and many failures, making all kinds of genres: thrillers, adventures, action and with a penchant for horror and erotica. Jesús used to sign under a pseudonym, among the aliases he used besides Jess Frank or Franco Manera, were the following: Frank Hollman, David Khune, James P. Johnson, David Though, Clifford Brown, among others. He was a prolific filmmaker, directing many terrible films, as well as frequently releasing several titles at the same time. In his early days he soon applied all his knowledge and experience as an assistant director, musician, editor to his debut as a feature film director: We Are 18 Years Old (1959). His Succubus (1968) was nominated for the Berlin Film Festival, and this event gave him international reputation. His career became increasingly consolidated in the following years, and his inexhaustible creativity allowed him to tackle films of all genres, from B-series horror films to pure hardcore sex. However, he made some passable films, such as: ¨The Terrible Dr. Orloff, The Bloody Judge, Count Dracula, 99 Women, The Blood of Fumanchu, Faceless¨ and a few more. And many of them with very strong cuts and double versions. Rating 3.5/10. Inferior and below average exploitation film. Only for Jess Frank completists.

In KILLER BARBYS, the rock band of the same name -led by Flavia (Sylvia Superstar)- happen upon a remote castle after their vehicle breaks down.

Said castle is the home of an ancient Countess (Mariangela Giordano) who happens to be a vampire, and she's very thirsty! It's not long before our heroes are being killed off by The Countess' henchman and his eeevil dwarfs!

KILLER BARBYS is another wonky, erotic spook-fest from Director Jess Franco. It contains the requisite gore, nudity, and a semi-cohesive story line.

EXTRA POINTS FOR: The Countess! She's hot, ruthless, and downright animalistic!

Gorehounds will want to stick around for the death-by-steamroller denouement...

People who say this is the worst Jess franco movie obviously haven't seen too many Jess Franco movies. This has the same liabilities of many Franco flicks--the story is formulaic, the budget is non-existent, the film-making is borderline incompetent, the acting is terrible and the English dubbing is even worse. This movie is basically an extended promo for "the Killer Barbies", a less-talented, Spanish version of The Cramps with a sexy female lead singer, "Sylvia Superstar", who makes Britney Spears appear conservatively dressed by comparison. Fortunately, their music is a lot better than Britney Spears'. Unfortunately, it seems to consist of only two songs that they play over and over again, first in a live concert, then on the tape deck of their Scooby Doo-style tour van, and then non-diegetically on the soundtrack.

After their van breaks down in the remote countryside, the band members take refuge in a creepy old castle (except for one couple who remain in the van to have sex for a ridiculously long time, before getting chased naked through the woods and summarily slaughtered). The surviving Barbies prove pretty tepid heroes actually, but the villains are pretty good--they include long-time character actor Aldo Sambrell, actor/producer Santiago Segura (unknown in America, but a cult figure today in Spain) and two creepy-ass midgets. Most impressive though is the infamous Mariangela Giordano as a Countess Bathory type who needs the blood of. . . well, obviously not virgins, but young people, in order to restore her own youth. Giordano has a very long, blood-soaked, butt-naked nude scene, which is pretty damn impressive considering she was almost 60 at the time! Of course, if you're watching this to "flip one off the wrist" as it were, you might not want to witness an actress a few years shy of collecting a pension in the altogether (no matter how good she still looks), but this kind of polymorphous perversity is what I find most interesting about Franco. Maybe it isn't very sexy, but it's a lot more interesting than watching your usual silicone-enhanced bimbos going through the motions of tediously choreographed softcore sex scenes. Call me crazy.

"Sylvia Superstar" also has brief nude scenes (which is more than you'll get from a Britney Spear's movie and you'll suffer a lot less for the privilege). Ditto with the ridiculously horny female back-up singer (at least before she is regrettably "decapitated" and replaced with what is obviously a headless department store mannequin). The special effects are laughable as usual. This is hardly "the most violent Jess Franco movie" as is claimed in the intro, but it's far from the worst one either

The Legendary Spanish director Jess Franco is known for some fantastic cinema, alas this certainly isn't among them and will be a blotch on his record.

It follows a female fronted rock band as they break down on route to their next gig and get invited into a foreboding looking castle for the night.

Essentially our antagonist is a blatant ripoff of the Countess Elizabeth Báthory with a couple of human minions who help her acquire the blood of the young (Virgins not required in this instance)

Though advertised as a horror this is a very camp attempt and more like a comedy. One character in particular played by Santiago Segura (Blade 1998) is so over the top and so zany any hope of the film being taken seriously went out the window.

The movie has a decent lead and memorable soundtrack though they really should have considered writing more songs and not playing the same one on a loop.

The Good:

Great leading lady

The Bad:

Looks very dated

Not exactly a horror

Soundtrack gets repetitive

Dumbest ending in cinema history? Definite contender

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Before throwing a naked woman out a window to her death it's only polite to put a nightie on her first

The rock band Killer Barbies is on tour across Spain when their van breaks down. They are invited by a dark stranger into a dark castle with a dark secret: the countess reached the age of Methusalem by drinking blood of young people. Such as... yes, rock band members. "Killer Barbys" suffers from the problems you could easily predict for a movie that is basically a mere promotion support for a band: poor acting (Aldo Sanbrell is the only exception), low budget, same old story. But it is clearly better than its sequel "Killer Barbies vs Dracula" in the whole atmosphere. The foggy castle is full of strange props like dolls without eyes, clocks, bones, barred windows... spooky! So, if you don't mind the silliness, gore and nudity, it's a "good bad flick". I dare say it even was the beginning of Jess Franco's return in the 90s when he seemed to fade away into oblivion.