Behind Enemy Lines

The guy/gal who writes the teaser for Cinemax screwed up again. I was hoping to get a good laugh watch Owen Wilson pretend to be a Navy officer in Behind Enemy Lines (2001), but they screwed up and put this one on instead.

Instead of laughs, I get Thomas Ian Griffith (xXx, Vampires) as an ex soldier going back to rescue his buddy, who was supposed to be dead, and some nuclear triggers. He is, in turn, rescued by a bunch of Marine misfits that lounge around on his boat in Tahiti.

No, it's not Rambo II, Braddock: Missing in Action III, Uncommon Valor, or any one of a hundred other B movies that have a similar theme. If you have seen any of those, you have seen this one.

I mean seriously. This is supposed to be an army, but not a single soldier can shoot. I have never seen more inaccurate shooting in my life. At the end, I was rooting for the bad guys, just so that they could get one shot on target. Just one... Just one... Even a lost bullet or a ricochet

Otherwise, it was a totally predictable movie, with the expected "plot twists" and a familiar happy ending. However, it could be good for some absolutely mindless entertainment. Movies like this and Deadly Prey are always fun to watch, because they are just that - pure minldless fun. Just browse the internet or something while watching it, because the entertainment value is definitely not constant. I could only take so many inaccurate shots fired by the bad guys.

This B action movie is shot with a bit more competence than other films in the genre. It also looks like it had a generous budget, or at least a lot of cooperation from the Philippine army, judging by the amount of gunfights, soldiers, Armored Personnel Carriers and explosions that feature throughout the film. The plot is the old "rescue my 'Nam buddy from the rank jungle prison he's being held in by the psychotic Communist general with thousands of troops under his command" premise. The good guys are invincible, the bad guys thoroughly expendable. You know what to expect. Sit back and let our boys win one for the Gipper. I must add in closing that Thomas Ian Griffith really is a good actor- I hope he gets cast in more mainstream films in the future.

I couldn't believe a movie could be so gawdawful, but it seems I'm wrong. Like you might be led to believe, this is one of those movies that have an old tired plot, lots of pointless action, and characters you could really care less about. It's as if the Movie God just decided to hunker down one day and pass this digested, festering turd of a movie in His great toilet and flush it into the sewers known as the "Straight to Video" market we harbor here on Earth. If you want to watch a great movie about Vietnam, try Apocalypse Now, it's brilliant. However, if you like this movie (!), try Platoon. It's got a larger budget and it's more well-known, but it's nearly just as stupid.

My friends, this is an incredibly insipid movie. How many Vietnam-era flicks are gonna be produced before someone eventually decides "enough is enough"? Ignoring such films as "Platoon" or "Apocalypse Now" or "The Deer Hunter" (truly splendid examples of cinema within the genre) and also ignoring the first "Rambo" film (a movie I embarrasingly admit to having enjoyed), I have this suspicion that some shady, weasel-like producer in sunny So. California thought to himself "Hey! I know how to make a quick buck! I'll screw a few investors outta a couple hundred grand and I'll make a, uhh... yeah! I'll make a 'Nam flick!"

Phuuleeze! Give it a rest, willya? The only people who would possibly find this movie worth watching are pre-pubescent little boys living in Idaho.