The Boneyard

You gotta love this flick. I found this movie on the "under 10 bucks" shelf at my local Suncoast Video. Just seeing the cover with the Evil demonic looking poodle was enough to claim it, after all I am one of many who love these types of movies. I mean, c'mon.....Phyllis Diller, Norman Fell!!?? , teaming up with a bunch of no names actors in a small town, in some rinky dink morgue, fighting undead children and event- ually a giant, insane, demonic pooch? This is f***ing great! It just does'nt get any better than this in the B movie world folks! This is Grade A, b horror material. So typical, I mean who would ever THINK we would see Phillis Diller and Mr. Roper together in this cheesefest? One time popular actors resorting to making low budget horror at at the end of there dwindiling careers...again, SO TYPICAL.The movie was good, remedial acting, good make up and special effects, and at some points, really creepy (those freaky zombie kids). The plot was absoloutly rid- iculous as well. All together GOOD GORE, GOOD FUN, GOOD FLICK. A must see for B horror buffs!

I purchased the DVD for a very cheap price and took a gamble on the film and remember reading somewhere at the time (1990)the film was being made starring Diller and Norman Fell. I thought this has got to be a hoot to see. Well....IT WAS....The story fails miserably but the special effects are great, especially when the Monster Diller mimics....well sort of.... Dillers real laugh. Diller is somewhat funny in this film and in the interview on the DVD she states "It was all in fun" and talks about the making of the film and the fun she had. Any Diller Fans will really get a kick out of the interview, especially her infamous LAUGH. I was really hoping for a funnier Norman Fell(Three's Company) but it just didn't happen,instead he was coming off as being serious. Its too bad that not all DVD'S have behind the scene interviews and trailers,etc. I purchased "CREEPSHOW" and Nothing,no interviews,behind the scenes,what the heck were they thinking,at least Boneyard later went in to get all of this coverage.

The Boneyard (1991)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

A couple cops and a psychic investigate the murder of three children. Their investigation leads them to the coroner's office where they quickly learn that the children are in fact zombies and soon everyone is trapped inside the building with them.

THE BONEYARD is your typcial low-budget horror film from the 90s that really doesn't have much originality to it and in fact it really doesn't have too much good about it. You've got a couple former stars thrown into the cast, some decent special effects but there's no question that a lot of the running time doesn't have too much going on.

I say that because the first forty-two minutes of the movie has the two detectives and the psychic doing nothing but talking. At first I was wondering if I was watching another movie because for a horror movie there's certainly nothing going on for the longest time. Once the zombie children show up things do pick up a bit and one can't help but wonder why they waited so long. Everyone knows that "something" needs to happen every ten-minutes so making us wait over forty was just a major mistake.

The zombie children actually look very good and for the most part the special effects were better than I expected and that's especially true for a couple "large" creatures that show up towards the end. The performances are pretty much what you would expect as they range from decent to poor. Norman Fell and Phyllis Diller are on hand and Ed Nelson was also good in the lead.

THE BONEYARD should have and could have been much better but it gets off to such a slow and bad start that the film never fully recovers.

Somewhat a forgotten kooky 90s zombie low-budget horror film that seems loosely inspired, tonally and set-up wise at least, by Return of the Living Dead. Slow to get going, real slow and mainly set in the one location; the graveyard shift at a mortuary on its last legs. However during the slow first half of nonsensical story exposition, and drawn out character exchanges. I actually found the character banter (by a stellar cast) rather amusing, especially Phyllis Diller's bark (which could be more ferocious than her poodle) and Ed Nelson's deadpan reactions to keep you engaged before the ludcrious thrills and ghoulish FX finally breaks out. And when it does, it doesn't disappoint.

Trapped inside with creepy rotting, and gooey zombie kids (from an age-old curse) munching away on corpses that suddenly turns into some wild, and goofy mutated monster fun. Maybe at times low-scale in its excitement and gets you wanting more than what's presented by rushing through the mayhem, but the imagery (FX I mean) is indeed a sight to behold... permed muscle-bound monster poodle anyone?

P.s. Diller's stunt double diving over a table in a grey wig won't be fooling anybody... that moment made me chuckle.

Detective Jersey Callum (Ed Nelson) and his dimwit partner Gordon (Jim Eustermann) coax troubled 300 lb. psychic Alley Oates (Deborah Rose) out of retirement when a series of unexplained homicides start adding up. Clues lead the trio to a mortuary one night where the dead bodies of three Asian children are resurrected into slime-spewing ghouls who trap the principal characters in the basement and go on a gory killing/possession spree.

After a slowwwww start (and a "huh?" flashback that is SUPPOSED to explain things), this really picks up and becomes a nifty little horror comedy with a good sense of humor, attempts at characterization and some surprisingly cool comic book-style FX (like a giant mutant poodle!). Good supporting roles for veteran character actors Nelson, Norman Fell (as a mortician with a ponytail) and Phyllis Diller (as the cranky night desk clerk who transforms into a creature that will make your eyes pop out of your head!). The director also scripted and did the FX for this fun feature.