Abraxas - Retter des Universums

There's a hilarious scene in this film where a topless Jesse Ventura invites a young boy to join him on his bed for a story about two men who were once partners; it's just one of many unintentionally funny scenes in this utterly dreadful (but still moderately entertaining) sci-fi adventure in which Mr. Ventura plays Abraxas, an 11,862 year-old intergalactic policeman trying to prevent renegade cop Secundus (Sven-Ole Thorsen, channelling Arnold Schwarzeneggar for his performance) from finding the 'Comater', (the aforementioned young boy), who might possibly have the 'Anti-life equation'— the secret to eternal life—locked in his mind.

A prime example of totally nonsensical 90s straight-to-video sci-fi, Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe repeatedly boggles the mind with its pitiful direction, dire performances, shockingly nasty sax/widdly guitar soundtrack, and nonsensical script which delivers more unfathomable sci-fi claptrap than the current season of Dr. Who (which is saying something). However, as awful as some of the action gets (in one ridiculous scene, a small-town cop under fire produces an Uzi from nowhere!), nothing is quite as bad as Ventura's hair (or what's left of it): partially balding with a rat's tail, Abraxas should have spent less time hunting for Secunda and put a bit more effort into trying to find a decent stylist.

Pitifully bad direction and a story that borrows liberally from "The Terminator" and "Firestarter", producing a hybrid that is strictly second-rate. Ventura and Throsen do make a fun pairing, though, but there are too many anticlimactic fight scenes between them; Ventura is a galaxy cop and Thrsen is his renegade ex-partner out to figure out the secret to "anti-life", whatever that is.

A forgettable film that poses as science fiction but is really about big sweaty guys fighting in poorly staged battle royales (in Sam Peckinpah-style slow motion, no less). To be avoided by even the B-movie fan in search of derisive laughter.

This film is so awful - anyone with a good sense of humor MUST see it. I laughed more in this movie than any intentional comedy I've seen in years. Atrocious dialogue. Strange, creepy scenarios featuring Jesse Ventura and a mute little boy that were supposed to be emotional and touching but seemed to accidentally imply some kind of molestation. Random lines about the "comater" and the "anti-life equation," which are never explained. Attempted humor that is so not funny it's hilarious. Extremely painful soundtrack. A desperate Jim Belushi cameo with a progression of dialogue that ends up making no sense.

Everyone must see this movie. Show your friends. Besides Joseph Merhi's "Mayhem," this is the funniest terrible movie I've ever seen.

ABRAXAS , GUARDIAN OF THE UNIVERSE .Chessy low-budget film a cross between terminator and time-cop well worth the watch, great one liners, poor effects but hey more than makes up for it in some of the fight scenes and dialogue. music with this film is awful soft jazz through out just turn your ears off .With a few more bucks this film could have been a half decent flick but like all low budget films resources are not always available .But if your stuck one evening and want to have a laugh and pick out the worst and best parts of the film worth the look.I am sure that the film would make an impression on your mind but only for a few minutes. But i enjoyed it in a sad funny way

Anyone who writes up a serious critique of this movie is INSANE!!! It's hilarious, end of story. Thank God somebody made this film. Laughter therapy all the way.Among the sordid and strange moments in this movie are scenes a women giving birth without taking off her pants, and disturbing (but funny) "moments" of bizarre intimacy between the lead man and "Tommy" the young alien/human hybrid. MST3K would have fun with this one but it's already so funny on it's own there's probably not much they could add.Just go in expecting the corniest plot, most cliché-filled narrative, and worst acting you've ever seen in a movie and you wont be disappointed. Just don't eat while watching, you might choke. 10 line minimum huh? Well that's all i have to say. :)