Transylvania Twist

My review was written in March 1990 after a Times Square screening.

In regional release sans fanfare since October, "Transylvania Twist" is an occasionally hilarious horror spoof notable for the range of its comical targets. It has definite potential as a cult favorite in upcoming ancillary exposure.

Filmmaker Jim Wynorski and scripter R. J. Robertson normally take a tongue-in-cheek approach but here let all the stops out in silliness worthy of Mel Brooks (whose regular Howard Morris pops up in an effective supporting role). Their batting average on jokes is low; yet there're enough direct hits to carry the film.

Immediately with the teaser opening of perennial Wynorski starlet Monique Gabrielle (uncredited though in a big role) being stalked through the woods by Jason, Freddy Krueger and Leatherface, pic applies a scattershot approach delving into other genres as well. For example, a Transy cab driver launches into Robert De Niro's classic "You talkin' to me?" bit and a videotaped last will and testament turns into "The Newly Dead Game" spoof on tv.

Robert Vaughn, who got his start starring for producer Roger Corman in "Teenage Caveman" (1958), is delightful as a Dracula-styled vampire pronouncing the end of his last name Orlock with relish. His beautiful niece Teri Copley is an American singing star who travels to his castle in Transylvania upon the death of her father, accompanied by wise-cracking sidekick Steve Altman.

Mixed into the comic stew are many delightful reflexive bits: tracking camera that gets sidetracked on bodacious women passing by; a black & white sequence when stars visit a set that looks left over from "The Honeymooners" replete with a visit from an actor doing Art Carney as Ed Norton; and a terrifically editged appearance by the late Boris Karloff who interacts with Altman in the manner of Carl Reiner/Steve Martin's "Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid".

Copley is a most alluring, dizzy blonde heroine, Altman makes the most of his turn doing impressions and intentionally bad jokes. Hip script makes numerous references to legendary horror writer H. P. Lovecraft. Angus Scrimm of "Phantasm" is cast as Vaughn's butler and effectively spoofs his previous films.

Tech credits are modest, with appropriate emphasis on stock footage taken from earlier Corman efforts.

People always automatically think about "Scary Movie" and "Young Frankenstein" when mentioning the only successful horror spoofs, but the surprisingly enough the 80's brought forward a handful of worthwhile comedies that have been long forgotten by now, like "Student Bodies", Pandemonium" (both covering the territory of teen-slashers) and "Transylvania 6-5000" (similar to this movie). "Transylvania Twist" is easily the best of them all. Oh, and please note that "Saturday the 14th" is NOT part of this list.

This spoof reasonably succeeds well where others – especially the nowadays ones – fail embarrassingly: a witty script and a wide selection of gags and parody elements that are both clever and laugh-out-loud funny. The story (something about a librarian traveling to Transylvania to find a book that belongs to the evil Count Orlok) is unimportant but that actually doesn't bother you, as the velocity of the jokes is incredibly high and most of them are truly imaginative and spot-on. The comedy highlights include, for example, a randomly pointless interlude song about … a randomly pointless interlude song! You really have to listen carefully to the lyrics on that one; I swear you'll hurt your stomach laughing. There's also a downright fantastic collage of bit and pieces of Boris Karloff lines out of "The Terror" cut and edited into a conversation with this film's lead hero. Robert Vaughn receives top billing, and probably also a pay check that used up 50% of the film's budget, only to appear after more than an hour into the film. Horror cult icon Angus Scrimm has a delightful supportive role as Orlok's spontaneously vaporizing butler and, yes, there is a silly "Phantasm" tribute towards the infamous flying spheres. Sweet movie! Admittedly certain gags (like the game show of death, to name just one) feel a little overwrought and outstay their welcome, but those little flaws are easily forgiven.

I love this movie. I think it belongs up there with other horror parodies like "Repossessed," "Silence of the Hams" and "Dracula-Dead and Loving It." Teri Copley was a funny, beautiful and talented actress; much more than just a pretty face. It's probably the only horror parody which makes the most horror references that I've seen even if it did leave out the Wolfman, Frankenstein's monster and the Mummy. It's also filled with cameos galore such as horror mogul Forrest J. Ackerman, scream queen Brinke Stevens as a sexy vampire, Deanna Lund from "Land of the Giants" as a teacher, Jay Robinson most recently of "Sleepy Hollow" and Angus Scrimm of "Phantasm." Video babe Becky LeBeau sings the songs which Teri lip-syncs to also has a bit part. Howard Morris from the "Andy Griffith Show" is a tamed down Ernest T. Bass as he plays the father of Teri's character. Ace Mask steals most of the laughs in this but Steve Altman is more than irritating as he tries to be funny; everytime I watch this, I do his lines so that I feel I've got the role. Robert Vaughn is also woefully miscast as he tries his hand at comedy. Steve Franken is also on hand as an inept constable who wouldn't know a vampire if it was already on his neck. Otherwise, the movie is one long enjoyable laughfest. It's a shame you can't find this on video anymore.

This is a horror comedy, and those are very tricky to pull off. How many absolutely great movies can you think of that combine those two genres? Two off the top of my head are Young Frankenstein and Abbott & Costello meet Frankenstein. But there are also the Scary Movie movies (the first two aren't at all, the rest... less said the better), Dracula Dead & Loving It (which, by the way, there's a gag involving a staking of a vampire in this that, I had to wonder, later inspired Brooks who went for a bloodier and possibly funnier scene in an otherwise lame spoof), Repossessed, um... maybe Student Bodies is alright(?) Point is, it's not the genre that people flock to necessarily and find the gold-mine all the time. Which brings us to Transylvania Twist, a Roger Corman produced movie via Concorde (and horror fans can *tell*, I'll get to that in a moment), and it's not all that bad! Faint praise, perhaps, but there are some parts in this where you can tell the filmmakers are trying and it's not all for not.

It's not that it's all gravy; it's one of those comedies where the actors are (mostly) playing it straight, and that's the way to go about it if you have to ala the classic example of Airplane! The exception to this is Steve Altman as (Lovecraft inspired name) Dexter, who is being goofy as all hell (I thought of him like he was a lessor stand-up comic from that boom of the 80's, Carson and Elvis imitations and all), and that would be fine if he were a little more talented. Sadly he isn't, but that's not the only issue: some of the lines that the actors are given are terrible, mostly with puns but other times it's just lame gags and references that are dated. If it's not American Express card riffs, it's an Exorcist reference that already felt tired by then.

But, I must stress, there are high points here, and it's not just with the cast - Vaughan, Scrim and Ace Mask (yes, that's his name, don't wear it out) are all wonderful here and get what they need to do to make these characters work so that there's comedy to play off of from the other characters - but with the style. It's not totally consistent throughout, which is a shame, but I enjoyed in the early part as the director and his camera man and editor tried to do some interesting things, like a commercial spoof involving a morturary service, or the music video Teri Copley is doing that has a hundred commercials in one minute of time, or the Honeymooners parody that is shot *in* black and white (and includes and Ed Norton!), or a simple gag like the camera following in a scene with Dexter at the library and the cameraman gets distracted.

In other words, there are enough times where the writing clicks and the actors click and the director clicks that the self-knowing stuff actually works. I wish that it did work more, or that certain gags had a touch more cleverness to them - to give another idea of what I mean, because Scrim is in this there's a part where his character holds the glass ball from Phantasm, and it's used for a baseball bit - but there's enough winks and nods to keep most open-minded horror fans happy. The strangest (and funniest) thing of all is how Corman, whether it was his idea or Wynorski and company I don't know, spoofs himself in a way; there's constant cut-aways to stock footage from The Terror (or maybe one of the Poe movies, or both), and then, lo and behold, Boris Karloff makes an appearance(!) Yes, there is actually a scene where Steve Altman walks into a room and interacts with stock footage of Karloff from The Terror; I have to think Corman knew how silly this would be and went for it. It's admirable and, most importantly, it's funny, and unexpected.

To put it another way, "Arkham Library" is a joke here. Do with that information what you will.

Dexter Ward (Steve Altman) goes to his uncle Ephram's funeral- and is told about "The Book of Ulthar"- an ancient book which has the power to raise an ancient evil demon. (Uncle Ephram, it turns out, isn't really dead!) He tells Dexter that he had lent the book to a man named Marinus Orlock some years ago, and had never got it back. So, Dexter goes to Transylvania with Marinus' daughter, Marissa (Teri Copley), and a vampire hunter, Victor van Helsing (Ace Mask). They end up in a spooky castle, in which Marissa's uncle Byron Orlock, now stays. The Book of Ulthar is hidden in the castle somewhere, and Dexter must find it before Byron does.

Surprisingly, this is a very funny and entertaining movie. It even includes footage of Boris Karloff from the movie "The Terror". The music score for Transylvania Twist was composed by Chuck Cirino, and it's very good. There are also some nice songs on the soundtrack. Writer R. J. Robertson appears as "Hans Phull". Watch the end credits too.

If you liked "Hot Shots!" or "The Naked Gun" or similar films, you'll like this one.