Troll - Teil 3

All the "Ator" films are on the dullest end of the cheap 80s sword-and-sandal revival, but this one has promise for its slender "Troll 2" connection. The reality is not all that much fun, though, despite being as dumb as you might hope for. In one of his last non-porn features, Joe d'Amato does the best he can with very limited means for a fantasy action film, but that only means it's got some professional sheen. It certainly isn't good, and it isn't so-bad-it's-good, either.

The weirdest thing about it is that it lacks the one minimal thing any movie of this type delivers: A warrior hero whose rippling muscles are constantly displayed, and usually seem to be the main reason he was cast. This guy had a career in fight choreography, yet he's got the face of an overfed ex-fratboy who "used to play football," and perplexingly he's always clad in in loose capes or ponchos or whatever, so it seems like they're going out of their way to hide paunch. He's not as wooden an actor as "Ator" originator Miles O'Keefe, or several other screen muscle dudes you could name, but let's face it, this is the kind of role where pecs speak louder than line readings. The women are attractive, including glorified cameos by veterans Laura Gemser and Marisa Mell. But it's all pretty dull, and silly in a self-conscious rather than unintentionally funny way.

I find I often like really bad movies,they can have a certain charm that is appealing. I can't say that this is one of them. Poorly written, bad editing, clumsy acting, goofy costumes, incredibly disjunct yet so simplistic you don't have any trouble following the lack of a sensible plot. It's sooo bad that it sucks you in and you feel compelled to see it through to the bitter end (ack, make it stop.....). Viewers will recognize Eric Allan Kramer from 'Men in Tights' and other movies, plus his most recent stint as 'Bob Duncan' on the Disney Channel. I like him a lot but I'm not sure what compelled him to do this rather fascinating bit of rot. At any rate even though I'm sounding really negative about it, if you've not seen this flick it's probably worth watching once so that you can say with pride that you suffered through it and can comment knowingly about it.

Quest for the Mighty Sword (1990)

1/2 (out of 4)

Ator is murdered so later in life his son, also named Ator (Eric Allan Kramer), goes for revenge when he learns that his mother was forced into prostitution. He also learns of a magical sword that belongs to his family and he wants it returned.

QUEST FOR THE MIGHTY SWORD was the fourth film in the series and the third to be directed by Joe D'Amato. The infamous Italian director helmed the first two in the series, skipped the third film and returned with this one. It's funny because the first film was so horrid that I found myself having a good time with it. The second film was so awful yet it was bad enough to be entertaining. This film here is just downright awful without any camp or entertainment value.

I'm really not sure where to begin but this here is certainly the bottom of the barrel as far as entertainment goes. The Italian horror market had already dried up and I'm really not sure why a film like this would be made since the genre was long dead and it's doubtful there was much demand for it. The film has the typical awful acting that you would expect, a stupid story and there's really not a single good thing you can say about it.

Fans of D'Amato who are nuts like me and want to see everything the man directed might want to check it out but it's a pretty bad film. With that said, Laura Gemser does appear briefly in the film.

My review was written in October 1990 after watching the movie on RCA/Columbia video cassette.

This chintz followup to the "Ator" fantasy films of the early '80s is aimed at small fry with its complement of silly monsters (all played by one actor in fake outfits). It's too little too late.

Helmer David Hills (reputedly one and the same as horror director Aristide Massaccesi) has fairly decent command of English dialog here, but that's about it. Blond muscle man Eric Allen Kramer portrays the son of Ator (long ago played by Miles O'Keeffe after his Tarzan debut) on a quest to free the beautiful Margaret Lenzey.

Laura Gemser (who also did the pic's costumes) guest stars with a fancy hairdo as an older woman who gets a crush on the hero. Donal O'Brien is extremely hammy as her brother.

A near-incest subplot is hardly suitable for kidies buthandled as lamely as the rest of the picture. Heroine Lenzey is quite lovely but can't act. The director doesn't help her cause by leaving a flubbed line of hers in the final cut.

I must plea with you, do not watch this movie! Unless you want to know what not to do in a movie, then that's okay. We all must learn from others' mistakes. Such as: hiring people that can act; do make-up; edit sound; do special effects; edit film; produce; direct; and proper caterers, 'cause these people were emaciated from lack of talent.