Danger Touch

This is a classic 2:30am Cinnimax flick that makes you laugh when you're not supposed to laugh. Lou Diamond Phillips comes out of nowhere to seduce an attractive Sex Therapist into situations that she talks about with her patients on a daily basis. Kate Vernon is hot which keeps the movie going, yet the cheese sets in as the plot starts to unravel. As far as the directorial debut of L.D.P, it's hard to judge his work since the majority of the shots are in the bedroom. There are some funny lines in this movie, yet I don't think they are supposed to be funny. I would recommend somebody to watch this movie, only if he/she has a decent sense of humor. Very dirty in a good kind of way and a plot that doesn't make you think to much.

Lou Diamond Phillips in an erotic thriller?!?! I think he'd be one of the last people just about anyone would think of appearing in this particular film genre, except apparently for Lou Diamond Phillips himself, who not only wrote the script but sat in the director's chair. As you might expect, the sex scenes involving him are pretty silly, not just for the fact that he uses an obvious body double on several occasions. Other faults with the movie include that it goes on for too long. Still, while the movie may overstay its welcome, I can't honestly say that the movie became boring at any moment. I was curious enough to stay until the very end. Also, while this is a low budget movie, Phillips crafts the movie in a way to make the production values acceptable. If it comes on cable during a slow night, you could do a lot worse.

Not as bad as all that. The film had more plot than a lot of such offerings. Yes, it is a sign of Lou Diamond Phillips' narcissism, but hey, if you get to write, star in, and direct, why not. I thought Kate Vernon seemed a bit young to be so successful, but they did need a hottie for the role. And after so many years of triple-D mounds of silicone on-screen, it was refreshing to see Ms. Vernon proudly baring beautiful, but normal-sized boobies on film. Some people seem to thank that LDP mis-cast himself in this, but I think that the biggest casting goof was Max Gail as the mob boss. He still exudes the air of earnest goofiness that I remember from when he played Wojciehowicz on Barney Miller. I suppose that even Lou Diamond Phillips could see that, and there must be more to the casting that I am missing. Deliberate irony? In any case it backfired. But really although this film is far, far from great, it isn't that bad. Doesn't deserve a 2.4 rating.

Obviously, somebody's been attending the Joe Esztherhas (sp?) School of Screenwriting. Oh, it's not too tough to see why Lou wanted to do this flick...with Kate Vernon as his co-star; what horny, red-blooded actor wouldn't? But even with the few interesting plot twists this offers above the usual soft-core porn cable fodder, this one still makes you feel like you need to spray your TV screen with Lysol afterwards.

Vernon is a talk-show sex therapist who counsels listeners by day, then medicates herself by night with a plethora of anonymous sexual encounters, (we can only assume she does it a lot, because we only get to see one of them, and on-screen sex never looked so simulated. Physician, heal thyself, indeed!)

Of course, the Usual Thing In Sexual Thrillers happens: she is accosted at a book signing by the 'mysterious' Phillips, who also shadows her to the home of a close friend, (benefactor or hanger-on, it's never made very clear), where they also have their First Monumental Encounter.

She's left a little embarassed but turned on at how he left her and how well he seems to know what she likes, blah, blah, blah, the routine stuff. Then at their next meeting, things take a surprising and potentially nasty turn, but to say just how would spoil one of the few surprises the film has to offer.

As a cross between Dr. Ruth and Dr. Laura, (without the latter's hypocritical moralizing) in the body of a Playboy model, Vernon gives the role what depth she can, but this is definitely Lou's baby all the way, and make no mistake about it, she's there primarily to serve as the object of his affection, rejection, you name it. Having power fantasies about controlling beautiful, impetuous women is not necessarily a bad thing, but do we have to be subjected to these moviemaking-as-sex-therapy entries? Lou has the exhibitionist's drive to execute his fantasies, but he lacks Joe's commitment to play it to the bone (pardon the pun), no matter how twisted the proceedings may get, which places TOUCH squarely in the 'Skinamax-After-Midnight' category.

And I really resented the total misuse of Max Gail and Mitch Pileggi, two actors who are much better than the projects they usually wind up getting. Showing up as convenient plot devices-cum-target practice dummies is not their true forte; they're much better than that, and hopefully the projects they get in the future will be as well.

One of the few redeeming qualities given any of the characters, is that by the end, Vernon at least has learned how to embrace her sexuality and accept her carnal idiosyncracies as normal and even healthy, unusual for a "sexual thriller," where the heroine is usually required to appear chaste, demure and repentant by the time the credits roll. She has finally learned to take her own advice, something few of us in the real world ever do.

Not quite thrilling enough to serve as a second-tier BASIC INSTINCT knockoff, and not steamy enough to arouse as much as bargain-rate porno, DANGEROUS TOUCH provides a little tittilation, but you won't respect yourself in the morning. Not so much for the middling prurience, but for the fact that this is ninety minutes of your life that can't be refunded.

A radio sex therapist (Kate Vernon) falls for a mysterious man (Lou Diamond Phillips) who is actually an ex-con and soon she gets caught in a crazed web of lies, deceit and sexual blackmail. Underworld figures and hired thugs aplenty in this silly would-be thriller that shows a little more skin and a little more stupidity than most others of the sorry genre. Phillips' attempt at directing a theatrical feature falls flat due to late-night cable ideas and a cast that seems dazed by the entire venture. Vernon is made out to be smart and sophisticated, but she falls under Phillips' spell almost immediately. Thankfully, most viewers with any taste will not fall under any incantation this movie throws at them. Turkey (0 stars out of 5).