Wagen 54 - Bitte Melden

This movie is not as bad as you may have heard. It is even worse. I actually saw this movie about 3 years ago, and I am just now getting around to reviewing it because it took me that long to wrap my brain around how insipid this film actually is. Only the presence of Jeremy Piven saves this from being 100% garbage. I think Jeremy was drunk and/or injected with horse tranquilizers for all his scenes; I would have to be intoxicated to appear in this movie, too. Without Mr. Piven to dilute the pain, I believe my VCR would have spontaneously combusted from bad movie overload. He is, however, only a tiny oasis of talent in the vast wasteland of crap that is known as "Car 54". Avoid, like you would small pox, plutonium or any other weapon of mass destruction.

I rented this movie as part of a local video stores "five films for five nights" deal and I needed a fifth film to get the deal. It took me five nights to watch it because I could literally only stand fifteen minutes of it at a time. I tortured myself on the last night and endured eighteen minutes of it. I truly admire anyone who was able to sit through this in a theater without leaving.

One of the worst movies I've ever seen..kept flipping back and forth to another show. I watched it because I love Fran Drescher. I thought she was funny as 'let me feel you badge Velma' and Rosie O'Donnell was okay..but David Johanson was soooooo annoying with his voice. John C McGuinley cracks me up on Scrubs but not in this movie. Horrible horrible horrible. A rated R movie that ends with a mob guy yelling 'I want my mommy' is just the worst of the worst because thats a clichéd line from most PG movies. It provides no laughs for adults. Fran Drescher mustve done this before The Nanny got on the air because TN debuted the year before and anyone with their own sitcom wouldn't offer to do this piece of garbage. Anyone who glances at the script can tell its a bad movie..no one could've thought it would be a hit.

I've sat through some dreadful films in my time, but this one may well be the all-time winner. I watched the whole thing with my mouth hanging open in stunned disbelief that it could be as bad as it was.

I was extremely interested in seeing the film around the time it came out. This was back when Nick@Nite was showing reruns of the old Car 54 TV show, and I was one of the many who was first exposed to it there and fell in love with it. My understanding was that it was this renaissance of cult interest in the show that motivated the making of a movie. So I was looking forward to seeing said movie.

The thing about this movie was, it seemed extremely evident that NOBODY associated with the making of this movie HAD EVER actually *seen* the original TV show upon which it is (supposedly) based. That the main characters are named Toody and Mulldoon seems almost a coincidence; they aren't even *remotely* like the original characters, except in so far as being cops. The original Car 54 TV show had a delightful, wacky sense of humor. This abomination of a film has NO sense of humor. I didn't not laugh once, not one single time. The original TV show had an amusing, catchy theme song. This thing had some monstrosity of a rap. What I will never, ever fathom is how *anybody* ever signed off on this thing at any stage in its development. I want to know who looked at the script for this and say "Yeah! That's great!" and what drugs they were on.

I remain in everlasting awe that they were able to propose, write, film, edit, and release a Car 54 film that had absolutely NOTHING to do with the great old TV show, Car 54, Where Are You. When you factor in the disappointment factor over what it could have been, I think this could well be the worst ever. There was just *no good reason* for it to have been this bad.

Everyone grows up with some cherished memories. One of mine was the T.V. series "Car 54, Where Are You?". It had a simple charm and the main characters Toody (Joe E. Ross) and Muldoon (Fred Gwynne) were gentle and the humour was good clean fun. Although they would mess things up at the beginning of each episode they would somehow get everything alright in the end without anyone getting into harm. Fred Gwynne's character (Muldoon) evoked sympathy and love from his viewers - especially children. With this in mind I got out the video of the movie remake of this series. What an absolute disgrace of a movie it turned out to be! The makers of this movie completely turned around the series two morally decent characters and made them into immoral fools. The key point of the T.V. series was that Muldoon was an innocent, naive policeman who did his job with a genuine love for those he served. The Muldoon in this movie remake is a repulsive character. The clean fun is also out in this remake. No wonder that this movie is listed by IMDb in its worst 100 movies of all time. It deserves it! The makers of this movie lost its main market (the nostalgics) by ignoring the behaviour standards of the original series. Not recommended!