Zero Patience - Null Geduld

Film Critic DELIVERED with stinging irony, that lyric is meant as a blanket indictment of empiricism, and of our abiding need to "classify and label," to "banish every doubt." Why? Because a label is a tool that can double as a weapon - what identifies and separates can also isolate and stigmatize. How, then, to describe Zero Patience without falling into the empiricist's, and the critic's, taxonomical traps? A "movie musical about AIDS" is a popular answer - one that's odd enough to be enticing, vague enough to be innocuous. But it doesn't begin to sound the depths of a work that is intriguing, provoking, amusing, offending, demanding, inordinately intelligent, and defiantly resistant of the very thing I'm paid to do.

So let's approach the picture from another angle, from the perspective of writer/director John Greyson. Now Greyson, unlike some artists who happen to be gay, would probably agree that there is indeed a definable "gay culture," an esthetic that goes heavy on irony and camp and outrageous humour and unapologetic theatricality. Clearly, all these ingredients are abundantly evident here. Just as clearly, Greyson (whose background lies in - get ready for a label - experimental video) has positioned his film at a 180-degree remove from a piece like Philadelphia. That movie, a drama about AIDS with a gay protagonist, was the product of mainstream Hollywood culture (unironic, non-outrageous, linear in plot and design), and took enormous pains not to offend a mainstream audience. This one is the product of a gay culture and doesn't give a damn who it offends. This one is smarter and more subtle, but lacks the emotional punch of the other (linear directness has its rewards), and the attendant complexities are hard to grasp at a single sitting.

Perhaps this will help a little: Greyson has reincarnated the Victorian explorer Richard Burton (John Robinson), using him to symbolize the dangers inherent in the empirical approach still taken by the scientific community toward all issues, including the AIDS plague. Burton, who toils in a Natural History Museum, is intent on mounting an exhibit called The Hall of Contagion, with AIDS as the sexy centrepiece. Just as his explorer colleagues once tracked the source of the Nile, he hopes to trace the "cause" of this disease. Causation, of course, is a first principle among empiricists. Rationally, if you find the cause, you may find the solution. Ethically, alas, it's a different matter; there, if you find the cause, you can point the finger - you can affix blame, you can isolate and stigmatize.

Enter another reincarnated soul, a gay ghost known as Patient Zero (Normand Fauteux) - the flight attendant who, in books like Randy Shilts' And The Band Played On, is "blamed" for first bringing AIDS to North America. Much of the film unfolds as an ongoing dialectic between the attitudes embodied in Burton and Zero, between serving a false cause and serving as a false villain. However, the dialectic takes the form of a literal song and dance - zippy production numbers where Glenn Schellenberg's toe-tapping melodies are laid over Greyson's thought- provoking lyrics. Consequently, the decorative fun on the surface (watch, if you dare, for an eye-popping ditty entitled The Butthole Duet) simultaneously competes with and complements the seriousness beneath - it's like tossing a colourful AIDS quilt over a dying AIDS patient. Greyson has refined and desentimentalized that most difficult of genres, the musical tragedy, and with every succeeding tune, he exponentially advances his thesis - other potentially false causes, like the "African Green Monkey" theory, like the HIV virus itself, come under his fire, as does everything from greedy drug companies to grousing AIDS activists. The film spares no one because, well, the disease spares no one.

Philadelphia is American in origin, Zero Patience is Canadian. Each is splendid in its own way, and each reflects the best of the culture (and the industry) that gave rise to it. The former is conventional, straightforward, and all about certainty, including the certainty of death. The latter is quirky, complicated, and all about uncertainty, especially the uncertainty of life. Greyson, and the film he's made, are brave enough to question incessantly, and smart enough to know that "HIV- positive" is a lot more than a medical label - it's a cruel oxymoron. He has zero patience for the blustering apostles of science and even art, and (the ironies abound) has more in common with another eminent Victorian than he might care to admit. Mister Greyson, meet Mister Tennyson: "There lives more faith in honest doubt,/ Believe me, than in half the creeds." Benjamin Miller, Filmbay Editor.

The ghost of Zero - "patient zero", who allegedly first brought AIDS to Canada - materializes and tries to contact old friends. Meanwhile, the Victorian explorer Sir Richard Burton, who drank from the Fountain of Youth and now works as Chief Taxidermist at the Toronto Natural History Museum, is trying to organize an AIDS exhibition.

The mainstream Austin Chronicle cited a "murky plot, frequently weak acting and often mediocre music" while still praising the film's "spunk, humor, enthusiasm and wit." This is pretty much it. The film itself is not very good, though you can see it was striving for something bigger and better. Then again, by having your lead be a time-displaced scientist, how seriously can we take it?

The Washington Post compared Zero Patience unfavorably to Hollywood's big-budget, big-star AIDS-themed film, Philadelphia, claiming that the latter's protagonist, Andrew Beckett, "looked sick, dealt with his illness and allowed the audience to sympathize," unlike the "healthy hoofers" of the musical who, because they didn't look sick enough, seem "to deny some of the grim realities" of the disease. Now, I don't know that the two films can be compared, but I do agree that the film seemed to promote sexuality without accepting any of the negative aspects... dispelling the "patient zero" myth is a good thing, but it doesn't mean we can go back to our bad habits!

I've seen nearly all of John Greyson's films and shorts and enjoyed every single one of them; this was a film I was interested in seeing again and purchased the DVD once it became available, so I'm likely not the most unbiased reviewer. However, this enjoyment is based on the movies themselves, their audacious vision and the innate originality of the filmmaker, not from any personal connection to him or to anyone else who appeared in or worked on any of the films.

Patient Zero is perhaps the original of his films because of the treatment of the subject matter. Unfortunately, this is also perhaps the films biggest failing: where the film appears most dated and reflects inaccurate information deals with both HIV and AIDS. However, despite this, the film merits viewing and is highly recommended because some of the subject matter (fear, mistrust, scientific and historical abuse versus education, etc.) are rendered intelligently and well, and in a highly unique and entertaining manner.

Well worth renting and well worth repeated viewings.

The most extraordinary thing about this film to me is that during a Gay Pride day in Toronto, I met some people that I knew and mentioned to them that I had seen them in Zero Patience. I then began to sing the praises of this film, and a moment later, they introduced me to the friend who was with them. His name was John Greyson, and he was the director of the film I had just raved on about! Well, he certainly knew I wasn't just being polite! :0) I gave this film an 8 out of ten, first of all because of the fact that anyone who can make a musical comedy about AIDS right in the middle of the epidemic and pull it off has got balls. Secondly, he did it with an outrageous satire that spares no-one, from the devious doctors to the exploitative politicians, and even takes on Act Up members with aplomb. Some people have said bad things about the musical numbers; I found them to be full of surprise, inventiveness, humour and camp - not to mention a touch of whimsy and pathos. This film has so much packed into it that it almost defies definition. But all in all it works. Finally, although the tone is continually exaggerated, the actor playing Patient Zero managed to flesh out his character to the point where we could relate to a "real" person. And boy, is he sexy! So, I ask you, what is there not to like?

I was introduced to this film (yes, FILM) by a professor of film at Texas A&M University. I know, most would think that those two clash: a queer film at one of the most conservative "schools" in the country, but she's a lesbian.

The music still entertains me, and "Just Like Scheherazade" is such a touching song.

As a gay man with AIDS, this film is radical, emphatically hilarious and exudes the attitude that those with this disease need to embrace. Don't sit around waiting to die...laugh at yourself. And make a musical!

Anywho. Word is that "Zero Patience" will FINALLY be released in the U.S. on May 31, 2005! It will have two music tracks and a bonus music video.

VideoETA informed me that it would be May 17, but both TLA Video and Amazon claim the 31st. Either way, it's coming, and about time, too!