Hellbound

Surely you've heard this one before. Chicago cop Chuck Norris and his motor-mouthed black sidekick Calvin Levels travel to Jerusalem to hunt down a wild-eyed demon called Prosatanos running around looking for the pieces to a scepter he needs to bring about the apocalypse...or something like that. Chuck's character is named Frank Shatter. I think they meant it one way but I took it the other. Calvin Levels has all of the most annoying comic relief sidekick clichés down pat and beats us over the head with them every chance he gets. He also has Whoopi Goldberg's hairdo from the '80s. Sheree J. Wilson, Chuck's co-star on Walker: Texas Ranger, plays his love interest and the inevitable babe-to-be-sacrificed-to-bring-about-Armageddon. A badly-dubbed Zoe Trilling appears in her underwear and a brief shower scene, which is honestly a highlight of the movie. The real star of the movie is Christopher Neame, who hams it up gloriously as the demon Prosatanos. Opening Star Wars-style text crawl was a dead giveaway as to what kind of a crapper this would be. Aaron Norris, the Roger Clinton of action movies, directs with the same lack of skill I've come to expect from him. Good for some laughs at its expense but if taken seriously it's complete crap.

HELLBOUND isn't among Chuck Norris's best. If that's what you want, check out CODE OF SILENCE, LONE WOLF McQUADE, or MISSING IN ACTION. HELLBOUND is a pretty typical film from the Cannon team of Golam-Globus, with whom Chuck made many films in the 80s and early 90s. The budget appears to have been pretty low, but they make do with what they have. Chuck (as usual) plays a quiet, fast-striking Chicago cop who winds up battling Satan's servant, Christopher Neame. The story could have used a bit more punch to it, but as it's stands, it's not an incredibly great film. A larger budget and a tighter story would have helped. Definitely a different film for Chuck, dealing with Satan instead of drug dealers, terrorists, or murderers, and will probably only be of interest to those who are fans. Not Chuck's best, but it's decent entertainment for a rainy night.

Two Chicago cops investigating the brutal murder of a rabbi are asked to head to Israel to answer further questions from the local authorities. There they continue their investigation, despite being told they're just tourists. However they soon learn they might be dealing with something supernatural.

"Hey Frank. I can't deal with this devil sh!t". Maybe for some, or more likely for most; wise words spoken. "Hellbound" is an extra ordinary, if unusual Chuck Norris starring Cannon produced vehicle directed by his brother Aaron Norris, which sees the buddy cop theme morphing together with some conventional horror elements of religious good vs. evil. Sadly I found it lacking, passable entertainment, but so much more could have been done. I just didn't find as fun as it could have been. Sorely it just lacked the action, a couple moments aside (like Norris and Christopher Neame's opening encounter in a seedy hotel room) it was sparse and if anything it was all pedestrian with no sense of imagination to the story or set-pieces. Norris (looking good with his fashionable mullet) seemed a little more flat and moody than usual, while alongside him was Calvin Levels in a whinny, unfunny role as his ever hungry detective partner. "Eat this"! Christopher Neame's would ham it up in the role as the resurrected emissary of Satan. Sometimes really over doing it. Also popping were the delightful Sheree J. Wilson and David Robb as King Richard in a medieval prologue. Director Aaron Norris' handling is workable, but seems to concentrate on the searing supernatural factors and stodgy investigative groundwork than the action in this hybrid, delivering cheap shocks of gore, dreary atmospherics and sweaty tension. The location work makes good use of the Israel backdrop, even though the set-designs look second rate.

Ultra-silly, but not as exciting action-horror fare.

"This is only the beginning."

Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball. Kids pee their name in the snow, but Chuck Norris pees his name into concrete. Chuck Norris can speak Braille. Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience. Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone. Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest...against a fish!

As made obviously clear, I absolutely love these Chuck Norris jokes that can be found all over the internet! Maybe, just maybe, these jokes find their origin in this film in particular! After all, when you battle an ancient and demonic antichrist, who waited for more than nine centuries to bring upon the apocalypse, well, then you earned the right & privilege to be referred to as the toughest macho in the universe! The opponent of Chicago cop Norris is named Prosatanos, and not coincidentally that sounds a lot like preposterous. "Hellbound" goes massively over-the-top in every department. The plot takes partially takes place in the year 1186, in 1951, and in the 90s. The action is set in Holy places like Israel and the Vatican, as well as in the drug/prostitution infested ghettos of Chicago. Christopher Neame depicts an obnoxious archeologist and the Antichrist. Chuck Norris has a black comic-relief police partner that he drags around everywhere, and yet he does everything himself. The unearthly beautiful Zoë Trilling briefly appears as a call-girl who caters Satan's wingman! This movie is - to quote the buddy cop - nuttier than a Snickers bar! It was also the last title to get released by the legendary Cannon Group. And just because they are so incredibly hilarious, here's another selection of Chuck Norris fun-facts:

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain. The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once, and you know what happened to them. Chuck Norris was exposed to the Coronavirus, and the virus is now in quarantine for a month.

During the Crusades, King Richard the Lionheart (David Robb) defeats the mythological emissary of Satan Prosatanos (Christopher Neame) and shatters his scepter in nine pieces that are kept in sacred places around the world. In the 50's, grave robbers accidentally release Prosatanos from his tomb.

In the present days (1994), in Chicago, Sergeant Frank Shatter (Chuck Norris) and his partner Detective Calvin Jackson (Calvin Levels) investigate the murder of a rabbi in a cheap hotel that had his heart ripped off. Their only lead is a piece of the scepter and a card with the names of the Jewish marchand Krieger (Jack Adalist) and Professor Lockley. Shatter and Jackson are summoned by the Israeli Police for a hearing and Shatter decides to seek out Krieger and Lockley. They also meet the professor's assistant Leslie (Sheree J. Wilson) that helps them and is attracted by Shatter. Soon Shatter and Jackson learn that they are dealing with a supernatural being and they are the last of mankind to avoid the Apocalypse.

"Hellbound" is an entertaining action film with the story of Satan's emissary Prosatanos. The plot is violent but also very funny. The fight between Chuck Norris' character and a demon is hilarious. My vote is seven.

Title (Brazil): "Perigo Mortal" ("Mortal Danger")