Beach Babes from Beyond

Three bubble brained space bimbos decide to visit Earth. They do so by crash-landing their spaceship in California, where they meet three surfer dudes, who for once, aren't totally unlikeable.

All this... action is interspersed with typical boring softcore sex scenes. These scenes could have been borrowed from any other '90s softcore flick and you wouldn't even notice. Some of them don't even seem to feature any of the characters, just random b-actors, ie. out of work male fitness models, and women with breasts that look like they're made out of plaster.

At least with softcore flicks like this one, I know I can stop paying attention during the sex scenes without missing anything, because they always go on a while.

One of the space-babes proves her extraterrestrial origins by pulling a net off her unconvincing 'spaceship', convincing the surfer dude instantly. The dude apparently didn't notice this large vehicle was right there on his right - surprising, considering the net the bimbo pulls off of it is nowhere near large enough to keep it concealed; there is no possible way he couldn't have noticed it.

Linnea Quigley is also in there, as a lady who knows a photographer and hangs around a mansion. She ties one of the girls up, for some reason.

I guess it wouldn't be a b-movie set on the beach without a musical number that just goes on forever. This might be a rarity in that the band is made up of bikini babes as well, indistinguishable from the ones dancing on stage. The awful song drones on for what seems like forever, but there is surprise nudity at the end.

"Beach Babes from Beyond" was directed by David DeCoteau, a b-movie maven who produced a bunch of enjoyable exploitation flicks in the '80s before turning his hand to increasingly homoerotic, mass profuced fair in the new millennium. He is now famous for the awfulness of his contemporary material - which makes "Beach Babes" look capable by comparison - and the fact that all of his movies feature young men in their underwear.

"Beach Babes" is unfortunately not even one of the better of his early period. Perhaps, when this was produced, his best years were already behind him, but he hadn't found a market for his homoerotica yet.

And I'm all for a sci-fi sex comedy.

The boobs are fake, there are these interminable beach dance sequences, and... it's got Joe Estevez. Worst of all, nothing about this movie is funny. At all. Oh man, then they wedge in all these horrible songs (I couldn't find any music credits, probably intentional).

I watched the "uncut" version, running a whole 79 minutes (and I did a lot of clock watching). Everything about Beach Babes From Beyond is gratuitous, and carries on entirely too long. So it really makes me wonder, where does the censorship begin and end, and how much is too much? It is a short movie, full of excess.

I loved the opening credits sequence. Fully naked chick in the shower, for as long it takes the credits to roll. Some nice outfits and bikinis, and that's all I got. Plot is asinine, sub plots come out of nowhere.

I dunno, try Space Babes From Outer Space. That is a genuinely good time, the plot is funny (and is an excuse to include sex), and there are fetching ladies in foxy outfits, as well as various states of undress. Likely done on a fraction of the budget this one had.

I`ve seen this movie twice, both times on Cinemax. The first time in it`s unrated version which is soft-core porn at it`s best and the second time in a trimmed down (cut all the sex and most of the nudity out) version which was entertaining in a typical beach movie sort of way. The unrated version has a tremendous sex scene with Nikki Fritz, a dude and a bottle of oil which is out of this world (no pun intended). Unfortunately, in the trimmed version that scene is almost completely chopped out, as are all the other sex scenes. Rated or unrated it is still fun to watch all the siblings of bigger stars (Stallone, Sheen, Travolta, etc;) trying to act. We also get appearances by B-queen Linnea Quigley and Burt Ward (Robin from the old Batman series).

Take the old hokey beach movies from the first golden era (the next is the 80's) and put the girls in some hot 80's fashions (thongs), throw in some very tame soft-core sex, and play even worse music and you have an hour and a half of great mindless fun! The leg and ass lovers of the world would want to have this in their permanent collection! (Breast men won't be disappointed either). If someone would just do a decent job of this in hard core, I would be in heaven.

If you want oscar level performances in your movies, your brain will have a meltdown if you even attempt to watch this movie.

I recently watched Beach Babes from Beyond (1993) on Prime. The story centers on a group of alien young ladies who crash their fathers' spacecraft on Earth in California while out for a cruise. They meet some young men facing eviction, and the ladies offer to help the boys keep their house in exchange for assistance in getting back home.

This movie is directed by David DeCoteau (Puppetmaster III) and stars Joe Estevez (The Roller Blade Seven), Don Swayze (Evasive Action), Linnea Quigley (The Return of the Living Dead), Joey Travolta (Beverly Hills Cop III), Jackie Stallone (The Appointment) and Burt Ward (Batman).

This movie essentially falls into the softcore porn category, with extended, awkward sex scenes. It's filled with full-frontal nudity, classic softcore background music, and an enticing shower scene during the opening credits. The storyline attempts to mimic the feel-good 80s comedies but primarily serves as a pretext for sexual encounters. The sex scenes are drawn out and may leave even the actors feeling uncomfortable. While the outfits are well chosen, the final "fundraising scene" drags on awkwardly and feels like a poorly executed 90s late-night music video.

In conclusion, this movie is not recommended unless you're specifically seeking a softcore porno film. I would rate this a 3/10 and suggest it only if you have the right expectations.