Stepfather III - Vatertag

I know it seems kind of dishonest to comment on a movie if you haven't seen it all the way through, but trust me on this one, kids...you don't need to see this turkey all the way through to know how bad it truly is. I pride myself on being pretty knowledgeable about good movies and even good BAD movies, and this is no PLAN NINE FROM OUTER SPACE. At least that was entertaining in its own genuinely loopy way.

They should feature this movie in a class on how NOT to write a screenplay. You can see foreshadowing from a hundred miles away, and plot points fall into place with all the subtlety of an anvil falling on Wile E. Coyote's noggin. Case in point: the mean, stalkerish ex-hubby vs. our title character. The only way you wouldn't know how that bout would end up, is if you've NEVER SEEN A MOVIE BEFORE! And the whole thing with 'Bad Ex' threatening good ol' 'Stepfather,' as he's turning his flower bed with a BIG shovel??? The filmmakers must've thought the only people more stupid than the jerky ex, would be the audience. And they'd be absolutely right...if you bothered watching this dog turd beyond this point, which I'm happy to say I didn't.

Had I paid for the rental, I may have bitten the bullet to get my money's worth out of it, but it was on Showtime late night. Meaning I could channel surf over to a really GOOD movie, even one that's been on about a thousand times. Like the first NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, which I'm sure I've seen about a thousand times and still enjoyed it.

Well, thanks to STEPFATHER 3, make that a thousand and one.

So, if you want to respect yourself in the morning, do what Terry O'Quinn did way before me. Skip this mess. And if you see it sitting next to MALICE, or JURRASIC PARK or even PLAN NINE at the video store, and nothing else is in, do yourself a favor...RENT THE OTHER MOVIE.

Keith Grant (Robert Wightman) seems like an ideal choice for a husband. He's the new single man on the block, cheerful, polite, morally sound and employed at a successful neighborhood greenhouse. Unfortunately, Keith is also the same mass murderer played by Terry O'Quinn in the two previous entries. Thanks to the miracle of plastic surgery, the psycho is now a new man (literally) and is free to continue on in his psychotic search for the "perfect" family. He meets, romances and marries a schoolteacher (Priscilla Barnes) with a prodigal, computer-obsessed, wheelchair-bound son (David Tom), who sees right through Keith's facade. And they're not perfect so you know what to expect.

Wightman has his hands full trying to fill in for the wonderful O'Quinn, and comes off more nerdy and weird than psychotic and calculating. That aside, this third entry is acceptable genre fare, with a good supporting cast, realistic characters and some stupid fun with a garden mulch machine.

Score: 4 out of 10

I get a kick out of these Stepfather movies. One minute the wife is this `Oh I'm so in love with you Henry/Jerry/Bill/Keith etc'. Then the next minute after he snaps she's calling him a seven letter word beginning with a B meaning an illegitimate child. This installment doesn't have Terry O'Quinn and it's not the same without him. The I just wanna be a family man gets a super duper facial make over from an underground plastic surgeon then finds another single mom with child and we're off and running. Not as good as the first two. Robert Wightman just didn't seem to be able to project that Psycho demeanor that Terry O'Quinn was so good at. As many times that the Stepfather had been stabbed, shot, hit over the head etc. you'd think that he would have wised up and said `This time I'm gonna get a girl who doesn't already have a child and try it that way for a change.'

The return of psycho Jerry Blake (Terry O'Quinn) in Stepfather II proved that he was impossible to kill, and sure enough, here he is again, up to his old tricks despite the claw-hammer to the chest he received at the end of Jeff Burr's sequel. Part three also shows 'the stepfather' to be impervious to pain, the killer having plastic surgery to alter his face (and, miraculously, his voice and hairline) all without the need for anaesthetic. With his new look (the character now played by Robert Wightman, who resembles Jim Carrey with a touch of Christian Bale), the killer once again goes looking for the ideal family unit.

This time, the murderous loony - now calling himself Keith Grant - marries divorcee Christine Davis (Priscilla Barnes), once again without the need of a birth certificate or any kind of legal documentation, but her wheelchair-bound amateur detective son Andy (David Tom) isn't convinced of his new stepfather's apparent good intentions. When Christine learns that she cannot have any more children, and Andy goes to stay with his father for the summer, Grant becomes angry that his family is no longer perfect and starts to romance widow Jennifer (Season Hubley) in preparation for his next move. Meanwhile, Andy has been investigating Grant's mysterious past and begins to suspect that his stepfather is a serial killer.

Those familiar with the series' formula will no doubt know how the film will pan out, Grant killing anyone who threatens to spoil his plans, before turning his murderous intentions to Christine; this time around, the deaths are a tad gorier despite this being a made-for-TV movie (Grant uses a bone saw and a rake, and a wood-chipper comes into play at the end), but this is still a very tired three-quel lacking in originality and genuine thrills, and which, at 110 minutes, is at least 20 minutes too long.

Ok! 1 was great, 2 was ok, but this one is pushing it a bit far. Obviously Terry O'quinn didn't want to do this so they made up the storyline that the stepfather had his face changed so that he could go on with his murderous ways. With an annoying wheelchair-bound son to boot, we recommended surfing right past this film.