American Eiskrem 3 1/2

If you've seen this movie you might have realised it, but this wasn't even actually intended to be a "Meatballs"-sequel. They just put a "Meatballs"-sticker on some random summer camp movie and hoped that somehow would make it suck less. But anyway, a couple of playmates that do absolutely EVERYTHING topless, an annoying fat teenager who looks 42 and will definitely take a playmate home and Corey Feldman at the highlight of his career all take on an evil rich woman who wants to steal an old guy's (played by Jack Nance, WTF?) summer camp. The guy sees no other option than to sell the camp but Corey Feldman, who looks really bored throughout this movie, has an idea: beating evil woman's team at water-skiing. I don't know much about that constitution, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't say: The ownership of all properties will be settled by water-skiing contests. From what I know, it works with paying money and stuff like that. But anyway, you'll never guess how it ends.

However, does anybody care about how boring, predictable and unfunny this movie is? I mean: it's T&A, there's T, there's A, no reason to complain. Stuffing plot holes with boobs is still as brilliant as it was when it was invented, may the tradition go on forever. But still, this is a way too light movie that you forget the instant it's over. What the heck am I commenting on again?

You know you're dealing with a bad movie when Corey Feldman is the best thing about it, and even he is at his worst in this one. The dialogue writing is atrocious, the story is worse than cliched, and the characters...well, there aren't any characters in this one. The only reason you'd ever want to waste time seeing this is to laugh at Corey Feldman's solo dance scene. I find it hard to believe that anyone connected to the movie thought that his dancing was "cool". I watched this on the local late night movie channel, and really wished I'd fallen asleep instead.

If you are at the video store or see this starting on cable, do you really expect that it will have any close proximity to the original? Come on now. After the original, the others basically were awful. So, the only real reason to watch this is to see various anatomically gifted or silicon-padded beautiful women frolick around topless. With those expectations in mind, guys, you won't be disappointed, especially with Playmate Christy Thom allowing you to peek at her assets. What a tease.....

Teenage, Summer Camp, Tits n'Ass movies can almost justify a minor sub-genre of their own - I'll wager there is the odd student thesis floating around, discussing their effect on late 20th Century American history.

'Meatballs 4' is a sequel in name only (in the UK it was retitled 'Summer Vacation'), and is a dumb pointless release which will provide shallow laughs for the most undiscerning adolescent male. The story, for what its worth, involves the rivalry between two summer camps, one of which is trying to buy-out the other. Things stumble along until the watersports competition finale between the camps which will decide the fate of each.

It's a complete waste of your reading time and my typing fingers to go into any more detail. The film is rubbish, but there is no point in criticising it for this - it doesn't fail to live up to expectations because it doesn't have any. You don't go to a burger bar for nouvelle cuisine and you don't put 'Meatballs 4' in your video hoping for 'Battleship Potemkin'.

BEST SCENE - the film peaks early with a superb naked college girls shower scene.

Jack(eraser-head) Nance must have been in a bad place in life to accept this role. Feldman, what to say besides; Drug use. His solo dance sequence plays out like a vivid fever dream. Watch at the end of the film as Feldman is delivering a joke and his frigging' tooth falls out.The script is non-existent, I mean even in some of the worst T and A pictures of all time there are some chuckles to be had;not here. Most of the cast made me fighting mad with their hair do's (or don'ts as the case may be)and who in the fun*k is going to believe that people think Feldman is cool. He looks like a 12 year old who got into his mom's cross tops, he kind of reminds me of an old neighbor I hate, which makes me want to fight him even more. In the end, I can only wish bad things on the people that made this picture, I would have rather had them spend their money on hookers and hard drugs, at least then we know some professionals would have been involved.