Kick or Die

From the vaults of AIP (Action International Pictures) comes a "Martial Arts" classic: "Kick Or Die"! AIP is a company that produced a treasure trove of low budget direct-to-video films that specialized in action movies, as the company name implies. Being a low-budget production company, you would think they would have been familiar with their forebear "American International Pictures" the original AIP. Why they used that name is a bit puzzling. Even though they made other types of genre movies, it was with action that they hit their stride. Although they ceased production in 1994, they left behind a legacy of VHS gems such as: "White Fury", "Alien Seed" (with Erik Estrada), and "Shredder Orpheus" (Maybe they weren't all gems) Reviews for those three will be forthcoming.

"Kick Or Die" is about a serial rapist who is terrorizing young co-eds at a small town college. The staff hires Don Potter (Bernhardt) to teach women self-defense. Obviously the college was aware of his status as the ultimate kickfighting machine. The ultimate shootfighting machine must have been taken. Bolo is a busy man.

While he's there Don encounters local bikers, who basically turn into punching bags for him. During one of his many brawls at a restaurant, he meets Eve Campo, and a relationship ensues. She wants to be a singer\dancer and there is an elongated dance sequence at a dance club. Don eventually confronts the rapist at his house and proceeds to punch him and not kick him, which was disappointing to say the least.

For a somewhat cool title, it does not live up to what it promises. There is very little kicking and virtually no dying. Kevin Bernhardt is no Sasha Mitchell in the action-actor department. He's not even Daniel Bernhardt. The world is too small for two DTV Bernhardts. Who should stay? Only you can decide.

The quality of this movie is typical AIP fare. If you have seen any AIP movies, you know what we're talking about. There is more kicking in the elongated dance sequence than in the whole movie. Maybe that is what the title refers to.

If you want to see a movie where a man kicks bikers off their motorcycles, this movie is for you. Puff Daddy clearly ripped off "Kick or Die" when he "thought" of "Vote Or Die". See the original tonight.

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After a series of rapes on a California campus, record producer Craig Merkel (Tim Wallace) suggests bringing in his childhood pal Don Potter (Kevin Bernhardt) to teach self defense. The reclusive Potter agrees, even though it triggers memories of his own wife's rape and murder from two years ago. Along the way, he falls for Eve (Holaday Mason) but conflict soon arises when Merkel offers her a recording contract. Can a title be more direct than Kick or Die? David Prior's Action International Pictures put this one out on VHS in the U. S. and their attention to detail might show the company's enthusiasm for the pick up. One, they get the plot synopsis wrong on the back. Two, the guy picture on the cover isn't even Bernhardt, but just some random karate dude. "Hey, it is called Kick or Die. What more do they want?" Third, they put a trailer for the damn movie on its own VHS release. This was another effort taking advantage of the cheap conditions of South Africa in the '80s, so it has that off kilter feel to it where they try to be America, but it clearly isn't. I guessed the killer the second they appeared onscreen. It was due to the fact that they give him a ridiculous disguise and you can clearly see the features and hear the voice of the actor who plays him. Perhaps the most interesting thing about the film is looking up the history of leading man Bernhardt. He went on to do some soaps and was the bar owner in Hellraiser III (1992). The interesting part is he then went on to write screenplays and has had some success in that field as a writer of B-movie stuff.

A guy whose fiancée was raped and killed years ago by a maniac and has lived in seclusion ever since, is finally bought out of his shell by a request from an old friend that he teaches self defence classes to women. In doing so, he finds a new girl, deals with the attention of a bunch of motorcycle thugs and concentrates on his own hunt for the rapist, as the list of victims grows ever longer.

My God, what a pile of crap. Not only do you have to sit through some of the most laughable fight sequences since the 60's Batman TV series and a plot as generic as you can possibly imagine, but you also have the twin threat of a hero so wooden he should have a 'flammable' sticker on him, and bad guys who are more like pantomime villains than serious assailants.

Aah, but I haven't got to the worst part yet. You see, the love interest in this movie is a budding singer, and several key scenes are set in a studio where she hopes to be recording her debut album. I can honestly say she better set up a stand at the headquarters for the National Association For The Deaf, because that's the only way she'd ever shift any copies. I really hope there wasn't a soundtrack for this movie, her children would be mortified..

The most interesting aspect of this completely uninteresting bilge is the ongoing combination of American and South African accents. Or is it Australian? I really can't tell. Anyway, this jarred on my nerves to such an extent it took me completely out of the film. So I guess that can be counted as a positive. One last thing, if you MUST see this, don't bother watching the UK VHS version. It has a minute cut by the BBFC, mostly thanks to the graphic sexual beating of unclothed women. Personally though, I don't think that's enough. I would have erased an hour and a half and turned it into a blank tape. Now there's an idea.. 1/10.